Starting School Worries

pollypenny

pigpen wrote: »

Basically you are saying anyone with more than 1 child cannot reply to this post because they've done it before.


Not at all.. I said it is perfectly natural to be concerned as a parent but not to transfer those concerns to the child who may actually be really excited about going and then suddenly realise the parents are concerned then the child becomes anxious thinking it is something to worry about.. they are the parents concerns.. not the childs.. common sense to those with some.

I wasn't anxious about my first starting school either TBH, if they would have taken him a year earlier I would have sent him without a second thought or a backward glance.. That said he had an utterly miserable time in reception class and I changed his school 3 weeks before the end of the first year because the school he was at looked beautiful, in lovely surroundings, fantastic results.. and the teacher he had was useless and the head was an absolute b!tch and bullied all the boys mercilessly and when she physically manhandled my child it was time to leave before I did the same to her!


It was probably my third I was most concerned about going to school as he too had health and learning difficulties, was non-verbal pretty much and has a social development delay. The concerns were mine, not his.. they later became his and he had an utterly miserable time until we got support in place which I had to fight tooth and nail for.

I haven't said anything more than anyone else, but feel free to try to pick on me solely, while you're being nasty to me you're leaving some other poor person alone.. and I'm big enough to not give a toss.

Oh, dear. I said, very politely that you're being 'a bit harsh', while no one Else used such a tone, so you consider that 'nasty' and I'm picking on you! :cool:

You did actually tell the OP to 'pull yourself together'. Come on!

rach_k

Please try not to worry! I was nervous about my kids starting reception (and they went to the school's nursery so we already knew how the school worked, more or less) but it was all for no reason.

Remember that Reception teachers are used to the kids being young and they're used to a wide range of developmental stages too. My older daughter is one of the oldest in her year and my youngest is the youngest in her year so I've seen different bits of the scale - they know how to cater to everybody's needs. Reception is still Early Years Foundation Stage so if the school has a nursery, there's probably one person overseeing nursery and reception, so it's not like they're completely different things. I think it's actually a harder switch going from Reception to Year 1 (but don't worry about that either, the school knows how to handle it!).

My kids' school has one teacher and one teaching assistant per class of 30, plus extra TAs who come in as and when needed, plus trainee teachers sometimes too. It feels like a very caring environment. It's pretty much like nursery - they only have a few sit down learning sessions per day, maybe 30 minutes total, and the rest is play, some free play and some directed but I doubt the kids realise when they're being pointed at something! When you go in, there is always a teacher sitting with a couple of kids on her knee and a few others at her feet, reading stories, giving cuddles, general reassurance etc. They're hands-on.

I'd suggest going for a tour during the school day - you get a good feel for the school when you do that.

pigpen

pollypenny wrote: »

Oh, dear. I said, very politely that you're being 'a bit harsh', while no one Else used such a tone, so you consider that 'nasty' and I'm picking on you! :cool:

You did actually tell the OP to 'pull yourself together'. Come on!

It wasn't polite.. it was unnecessary and rude.

and yes I did.. did you bother to read the OP??? no??

Can you share your positive stories please? Then tell me to pull myself together

Hence the smiley... us normal people get humour!

bellaboo86

In the foundation stage there is a much higher ratio of adults to children than in other year groups. In addition,children also work in small groups of about 5 on numeracy and literacy tasks. I'm sure there will be at least one adult that your daughter forms a bond with. I would also say hugs are not exclusive to the little ones, even the big boys and girls need a hug sometimes.

dancingfairy

Do you know any other parents of children starting school in September ( even if it's a different school)?
I'm sure there are others in the same boat to be honest. I can understand being slightly nervous/ concerned etc ( I'm sure it's just a sign you're a caring parent.
Df

supersaver2

Thanks for the replies.

I actually work in a secondary school and spoke to the Head today who was surprised that she didn't get first choice especially with the medical information I provided. I'm confident on winning an appeal.

The school she's gotten was our third choice and we looked round all three but it wasn't our favourite (hence being last). The biggest issue is the intake, 75 reception children in 2 classes. My first choice was an intake of 22, closer to home with more classroom support.

My daughter is excited and I'm constantly talking about 'big girl school' to keep her interested.

All appeal paperwork has been submitted so we will see.

SmlSave

My son started last September. There are 60 kids split into two classes and he loves it. He also loves his teacher (who can do no wrong apparently ) There are 2 assistants also in each class.

It's totally normal to worry hun, just try not to pass it into your lo.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

supersaver2 wrote: »

Evening All,

Sure your all going to tell me to pull myself together but here goes:

My daughter starts school in September and I admit to feeling worried and quite stressed. I'm a Dad, she's my only child and has numerous health concerns. I don't want to stress my wife out and worry her because I'm the calm rational one normally!

We found out last Saturday we didn't get first choice even with medical evidence and a letter from our consultant. I'm sure this is adding extra worries going through the appeal process.

My daughter is currently at nursery and doing great. She is extremely small for her age (was born just shy over 23 weeks). The nursery staff are marvellous, always there with comfort and a hug when needed. I'm concerned that she will struggle without that key person who she does rely upon, clearly the reception teacher will have his/her work cut out with 30 small children!

I'm sure most parents must have similar worries (hopefully?!!)

Can you share your positive stories please? Then tell me to pull myself together! I even know through past worries that the thought is always worse than the reality!

Offspring #2 was smaller than everybody else - she was positively birdlike in build as well. She was even smaller than the child who was born at 25 weeks, although they were only two weeks' apart in age. They both had some physical issues. The sight of those two surrounding by great hulking almost five year olds when they were only just three (nursery class) was a little bit disconcerting.



Ever seen a Wren? They're tiny, tiny, tiny. But so very loud. That's what those two were like - both sets of parents were told repeatedly throughout their time at primary that they made sure their opinions were heard.

So yes, pull yourself together, don't let on that you're worried, it's a great adventure to be starting school and smile and wave as you leave the class on her first day (Do NOT miss the first day of school, get photos, it's a day she'll remember and you will remember, so make sure you're part of it). You can shed a tear in the car. Especially if she does what mine did and trots off without a backwards glance, the ratbag; she could have at least made an attempt at pretending she wanted to stay with me - everybody else had wailing babies clinging to their legs and mine had to be the one who couldn't wait to get away from her boring life of playtime, naps, Pooh Bear and making things. :cool:

pigpen

supersaver2 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies.

I actually work in a secondary school and spoke to the Head today who was surprised that she didn't get first choice especially with the medical information I provided. I'm confident on winning an appeal.

The school she's gotten was our third choice and we looked round all three but it wasn't our favourite (hence being last). The biggest issue is the intake, 75 reception children in 2 classes. My first choice was an intake of 22, closer to home with more classroom support.

My daughter is excited and I'm constantly talking about 'big girl school' to keep her interested.

All appeal paperwork has been submitted so we will see.

That alone would put me off.. my niece goes to a very similar sized school and it is really impersonal, play times are staggered so littles are not out with the bigger ones because the playground is too small for them all and of course the pushing and shoving.. I would be very concerned about any small child being lost in such an environment. So with more info I understand why you have concerns.. tbh, I wouldn't have even added a third choice if it had to be that.


You don't have to fill all choices. My son only put one school for his son.. fortunately he did get that one.. with my daughters son and my daughter all being in the same class.. there are 40 in our intake with 2 classrooms a large separate outdoor play area and 3 teachers and 3 classroom assistants... the staff/child ratios are usually much better in reception classes as they are often funded for a nursery teacher as well due to the number of under 5's.

I'm sure your appeal will be successful, they usually are if medical grounds are given.. just see if you can get letters from nurses/drs/therapists before the appeal to support you, or take some in when you go if you can't get them before given you've submitted stuff already.. they tend to argue less then. It depends on how many 'cared for' children they have then siblings as to whether you get a place.. out of the 40 at ours 18 have older siblings in the school.. inc. mine.

Good luck for your appeal x

Pennywise

We were worried about our son, who was also premature, but not quite so early, and was a bit behind with his development - we've down determined he has mild aspergers. We had big problems with pre-school as he just wouldn't go in on his own, meaning me or OH had to stay with him most of the time. And that was only for a couple of mornings per week. We really thought we'd have problems with primary school.

But, we sat him down, calmly and rationally told him exactly what to expect, i.e. mornings for first few weeks, then full days, that we'd be handing him over at the classroom door, etc. We met the teacher at an introductory meeting beforehand and told her our concerns. She assured us that it was normal and common and that they could deal with it. When the time came, we were more worried than our son. He happily trotted to school with us, we handed him over to the teacher and that was that - no trouble at all. We sat by the phone all morning waiting for the inevitable phone call, but it never came. We went back at lunchtime and he was all smiles as he came out. Never looked back!

Just be open and upfront about what's going to happen. No lies, no sugar-coating. Make it clear there's no option. Reception teachers and classroom assistants see it all the time, they know what to do with the kids who are worried or stressed.