Starting School Worries

supersaver2

Evening All,

Sure your all going to tell me to pull myself together but here goes:

My daughter starts school in September and I admit to feeling worried and quite stressed. I'm a Dad, she's my only child and has numerous health concerns. I don't want to stress my wife out and worry her because I'm the calm rational one normally!

We found out last Saturday we didn't get first choice even with medical evidence and a letter from our consultant. I'm sure this is adding extra worries going through the appeal process.

My daughter is currently at nursery and doing great. She is extremely small for her age (was born just shy over 23 weeks). The nursery staff are marvellous, always there with comfort and a hug when needed. I'm concerned that she will struggle without that key person who she does rely upon, clearly the reception teacher will have his/her work cut out with 30 small children!

I'm sure most parents must have similar worries (hopefully?!!)

Can you share your positive stories please? Then tell me to pull myself together! I even know through past worries that the thought is always worse than the reality!

nearlyrich

Reception classes will usually have teaching assistants, it's pretty normal to be apprehensive about changes but your daughter is doing well and it would be great for her to be seen as "normal". Ring the school and arrange to go and see the place and Ihope all goes well for you and your daughter.

Becles

Is there a teaching assistant in the school?

My son had been seriously ill before he started school and was still a bit poorly when he started reception. He was sometimes clingy and just needed a bit extra TLC. There was a TA who was there to generally help out in the infant classes as and where needed. She took him under her wing and kept an eye on him from a distance but he knew he could go to her if he was feeling unwell or just wanted a hug!

He found the school day hard, so he was allowed to go in the quiet corner and have a rest if he needed one. Apparently he used to just curl up on the floor and have a nap when it got too much!

supersaver2

Thanks for the replies.

I'm not sure about a T/A though I'm sure in a reception class there will be. We have been on Easter holidays the past 2 weeks here so will contact the school next week to arrange a visit.

The full 5 days at school is a worry as she currently does 3 at nursery with a day at home with her mum and a day with grandad so I'm sure she'll be tired to start with. She is a good sleeper though so she will be having early nights.

susancs

I totally understand and have empathy with your concerns. Mine are older now one at secondary school and one at Uni and had the same feelings as you when they started primary school, secondary school and in eldest DDs case away at Uni (it does not get any easier).

If it is like schools in our area they do a staggered intake over a few weeks so not all starting together and then it is a week of before lunch collection, then they stay for lunch, then 2pm collection and finally doing the full day. Reception class still follow the same fun play based learning (Early years Foundation stage framework) that is done in other early years settings such as nursery and pre-school. There will be nursery nurses or teaching assistants trained in early years who will work in the class supporting the children. All Early years settings including reception class have to have a key person system, so your little one will be allocated a key person. Schools usually have a day in the next half term that they invite all the new children to come into school and meet their teacher and other staff. If your daughter has special educational needs (SEN) then you could make an appointment to see the SEN co-ordinator in the school to discuss any concerns and draw up a plan.

My children were summer babies and the school only did one intake a year in September so they were amongst the youngest in the class, only just 4. They both settled in quickly, made friends with peers and did well. For the first couple of weeks they were tired after school, but that quickly changed and they wanted friends around after school for tea and did their homework with no problem with tiredness.

pigpen

Surely you went to look at the school and spoke to the teachers and got an idea of how the class is set up before putting her name down for that school?? If not.. why did you put down a school you'd not even looked at??

And make an appointment to go in a speak to the teacher and see the classroom.. I recommend going in during school hours so you can see how the children are settled in the class, how they get on with staff and each other and get an idea of how riotous the environment is before making a decision for final.

No, I don't havenconcerns about my child starting school other than she is an absolute monster (and I've done it 9 times before!) and I can see her being the class 'naughty child' but I have every faith that the school will work with me to make it as easy and happy for my crazy girl as possible. Mine is actually the oldest in her class bar one boy who was born the day before her... my other 2 younger ones are August babies so the youngest in their year. My 5 y/o is absolutely flying at school and doing amazing.

It is normal to have some reservations but they are YOUR reservations.. the children usually settle beautifully and thrive despite the parental concern.. just be positive about it, make it an exciting time for your child and keep your reservations to yourself otherwise your child may think they should be concerned.

So... Pull yourself together and let your baby girl grow up and become a wonderful, beautiful, talented young woman (in time obviously) .. you did ask for it

She will be fine.. it is very rare they are not!

FBaby

It's totally normal to worry about the transition from nursery school and a large number of parents do so.

Just remind yourself that your DD is not going to jail. If at anytime you feel that she is unhappy or struggling, you will have means to deal with it, to the extent of taking her out of the school and teach her at home (extreme, but still an option).

Tell yourself to just take it as it comes. The best thing you can do for your daughter is not to worry but actually be 100% positive about the move because she is much more likely to be affected picking up on your negative vibes than by actually facing change.

Natad00dle

My good friend's son was born at 23 weeks and ended up being a July baby instead of November. She tried very hard to get the council to agree for him to start a year later - at 5 instead of just 4, but nothing worked. He is now in year 2 and doing extremely well. He is still a little behind academically, but he loves going to school and the school is very supportive. They really do look after him very well and are very understanding that his attendance levels are not the greatest as he still has breathing difficulties.

I understand how anxious you must be feeling, but these days schools are used to dealing with children that require more attention for health, language or any other reasons and normally handle it very well. Children are also more resilient that we give them credit for. See how she takes to it when she starts, she might enjoy it a lot more than you think.

Make-it-3

It's unclear from your post whether you got your 2nd choice or something not of your choosing. Whichever way, until you know the outcome of your appeal it makes sense to reassure yourself by finding out more about the school she is currently been assigned to.

It's likely there will be a Teaching Assistant as well as the Teacher. Both will help ease your child gently into school life. Remember all kids/parents are in the same situation. Reception class is a gradual transition, at the beginning of the year it will be much more about fun and play, the classroom will look much the same -as nursery.

Most of them do get tired at first with the new routine, but they get used to it.

Please also remember its another six months till she actually starts and her nursery will be doing lots to help her prepare for the transition in the meantime too.

jog

Hi,

As others have already said, in my experience reception class will be very supportive and schools are used to having children with complex health issues. You haven't said the nature of your daughters needs, but if she needs any 'treatment' or special assistance etc, you need to speak to the SENCO at the school to discuss your daughters needs and see if a care plan needs to be put in place. I woud expect the nursery to liaise with the school as well and extra transistion visits are normal for children with special needs.

If she has health needs then you may want to speak to the school nurse for your school as she can also offer advice or help co-ordinate care planning. The school should be able to give you the contact details for their school nurse.

Good luck

pigpen

pollypenny wrote: »

You're a bit harsh, pigpen. With 9 kids you've obviously been reassured about the process and support available.

I think most parents are a bit nervous about their first.

Basically you are saying anyone with more than 1 child cannot reply to this post because they've done it before.


Not at all.. I said it is perfectly natural to be concerned as a parent but not to transfer those concerns to the child who may actually be really excited about going and then suddenly realise the parents are concerned then the child becomes anxious thinking it is something to worry about.. they are the parents concerns.. not the childs.. common sense to those with some.

I wasn't anxious about my first starting school either TBH, if they would have taken him a year earlier I would have sent him without a second thought or a backward glance.. That said he had an utterly miserable time in reception class and I changed his school 3 weeks before the end of the first year because the school he was at looked beautiful, in lovely surroundings, fantastic results.. and the teacher he had was useless and the head was an absolute b!tch and bullied all the boys mercilessly and when she physically manhandled my child it was time to leave before I did the same to her!


It was probably my third I was most concerned about going to school as he too had health and learning difficulties, was non-verbal pretty much and has a social development delay. The concerns were mine, not his.. they later became his and he had an utterly miserable time until we got support in place which I had to fight tooth and nail for.

I haven't said anything more than anyone else, but feel free to try to pick on me solely, while you're being nasty to me you're leaving some other poor person alone.. and I'm big enough to not give a toss.