Can you help with my little bro's wedding speech?

I have some material but, my memory is not great and we have not spent much time together in the past 25 years. I do have a ton of embarrassing photos of him with crazy hairstyles, was thinking maybe a projector/slideshow however, don't really want to rely on tech as it can go all wrong. Maybe a flip board/chalkboard or something behind me.

I do have a little story about when we were young (12-14) and he was headbutted by a goat, he still is sensitive about it as the young goat jumped up on it's hind legs and headbutted his legs/crotch with all it's strength which was very amusing to watch so, all present were laughing apart from him who was crying. I just don't know how to format this story into something I could use in the speech. Was thinking maybe saying something like "Don't worry Bob, I promise I won't mention anything about the goat", which might get people thinking something sexual but, then later telling the actual real story in a funny way.

Please help as I'm very anxious about delivering this speech, I'm not the most confident person. It's all going to be recorded on HD video and in front of around 100 people.


  • DomRavioliDomRavioli PPR
    3.1K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Don't use the goat story. Why would you recall something that caused him physical pain on his wedding day? It is just inappropriate. And why would you want to embarrass him with things he did years ago? Again, it is completely inappropriate. You could literally end up ripping your family apart because of what you think might be funny, and as you said, you haven't spent time together properly for 25 years. It is pretty likely he won't be anything like you remember.

    Try talking to him. Ask him what he wants to be included. And speak to your parents to read over it before you say something you will regret for a long time, and cause arugments and family drama.

    Oh and google. Google is your friend.
  • edited 20 April 2016 at 4:42PM
    mrmidjammrmidjam Forumite
    13 Posts
    edited 20 April 2016 at 4:42PM
    When I say we have not spent much time together I didn't mean I haven't seen him, he lives just down the road from me, it's just that he and I are very busy so, don't really go out that often together. However, I have worked with him, gone training with him and had the occasional outings/parties with him in the past 25 years. He is my younger brother by 3 years and we have always had banter between us, he tries to wind me up and I do the same to him. However going by your response maybe I should just warn him I was thinking of using the goat story.

    Oh and I have googled.... a lot, always do.
  • DomRavioliDomRavioli PPR
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    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    There's a massive difference between banter in private between the two of you and what you are suggesting.

    You're basically suggesting in front of his new family (the in-laws) that you're going to take the !!!! because there's nothing interesting to say.

    Use your brain, don't try and be funny (I've seen hundreds of speeches bomb for that reason, just be gracious and intelligent), drop the in jokes because nobody will find that funny, less the parents of his new wife, and come up with something cute, heartwarming and a little bit cheesy, but NEVER FUNNY.

    Drop the goat story. If you don't you may find your brother never speaks to you again. I've seen it happen for less.
  • mrmidjammrmidjam Forumite
    13 Posts
    OK, after some thought I think your right. Thanks for the warning, I have writers block right now and getting a little desperate as it's getting closer. I'll take a deep breath, do some meditation and rethink my strategy.
  • fewgroatsfewgroats Forumite
    774 Posts
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    I like the goat story. He is the butt of the jokes, after all.
    Advent Challenge: Money made: £0. Days to Christmas: 59.
  • Prothet_of_DoomProthet_of_Doom Forumite
    3.3K Posts
    Tenth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Use the goat story. Make it funny. Make him laugh about something that at the time could have killed him.
    Do you have any stories about when he was testing any electrics, fell off a roof, drowned (and was saved by a dolphin)?
    Anything about when he was fixing a car and the jack fell on him?
    Do you have stories his bride would know about but his parents don't?
  • mrmidjammrmidjam Forumite
    13 Posts
    I hardly think he would have died, the goat had a height of about a foot. He wasn't exactly distressed either more frustrated, angry. Couldn't have hurt him that much, it didn't have horns or anything it was just a baby. Anyway I may just mention the story to him, gauge his response and go from there.
  • mrmidjammrmidjam Forumite
    13 Posts
    lika_86 wrote: »

    saw that site, is it worth the £10.99?
  • edited 22 April 2016 at 1:31PM
    paddyrgpaddyrg Forumite
    13.5K Posts
    edited 22 April 2016 at 1:31PM
    Start off light-hearted and nervous, tell the crowd that you originally intended to tell stories about (glancing allusions to goat etc here),but realised there was something more important to say. Then praise him for his qualities, including his taste in life partners, have a couple of beats of really squishy stuff, then lighten up again with a quip about getting too mushy, and do your toast. 4 minutes end to end, and not a dry eye in the house.

    This is the most supportive audience you'll ever get anywhere, short of outright racism and fighting talk, people will applaud you and tell you how well you did, so don't try jokes and gags if they're not you.

    Oh, and watch 'Him & Her - The Wedding' (very funny but you will cringe continually) if you can find a stream or it comes around now and again on iPlayer. Any wedding will be easier than that, so just relax into it :)
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