Bekibun's Soa (it Took Ages To Work Out!)

tigtag02

Narva wrote: »

I am sorry to be harsh, but this has amzed me, you have an income of 22,000 dont work, and in debt. I have to work and do my own housework on 10,000 a year. I was very ill with a rare pain disorder, and life was difficult, very difficult but I had to get on. I was depressed and on happy tablets, which worked wonders. Please all those that read this, but this person is paying a cleaner, and then asking for advise on how to save money??

simply cut back stop spending money, tell the kids that money is not growing on trees, and things will have to change for a few years to make all your lifes in the long run easier.

good luck

WOW ~ I'm sorry but this is harsh bordering on the judgemental , especially the part I have highlighted ~ is it really necsessay to point out that her maintainance is higher than your wage?

I'm sorry about the problems you have been through and kudos to the way you have cut back yourself but this is not a *who's had it harder* site!

The OP acknowledge she needs to cut back and is more than willing to listen and take on board suggesions ~ like the rest of us she has had her LBM which in iself deserves the kudos.

Welcome to MSE OP ~ I'm sure you will have those cutbacks made and debts paid off in no time at all ~ OH, prepare to be adicted

thecornflake

Bekibuns wrote: »

Virgin Credit Card – Transfer Balance transferred to 13 months 0% to pay off EGG C Card) of £2,300.00/Current Total on credit card due to spending = £2,688.52 (intend to NOT spend any more money on the credit card).

Alliance & Leicester Overdraft on Current Account (0% interest on o/d up to £800.00) – Normally go fully into overdraft and often go over incurring bank charges and bounced cheques (intend to not go over the overdraft limit from September onwards).

Have you started to reclaim bank charges?

As you said you intend not to spend any more on the credit card, I assume you have some available credit on it. Could you balance transfer some of your loan onto it?

Then cut it up.

On another point, I think that's one of the best SOA's I've seen in terms of actually listing all the little things that you spend money on. A lot of people miss out things like taking the kids out, haircuts etc and then wonder why they can't keep to their budget.

I do think there are a lot of areas for cutting back, but I think that's already been covered!

EDIT: Actually, I believe once your younger son gets to 3 then the government pays for a certain amount of nursery sessions per week as long as they've already been going for a certain amoutn of time. The people at the nursery should be able to confirm this. As soon as my daughter got to 3 we stopped having to pay for it.

Kevicho

tigtag02 wrote: »

WOW ~ I'm sorry but this is harsh bordering on the judgemental , especially the part I have highlighted ~ is it really necsessay to point out that her maintainance is higher than your wage?

TBH i found it slightly rude as well, i can see the viewpoint, but this site does say please be nice to all money savers.

There are lots of cutbacks available on this SOA, and yes spending does seem to be excessive in some areas, but the OP has posted for help and advice, and tbh most of this thread has been quite off kilter in some attitudes.

Just goes to show it doesnt matter how much you earn, lifestyles do go up in price with the wages.

Also keeping up with the jones'es isnt good for anyone.

floss2

sparklymessygirl wrote: »

The other thing I was thinking about is that as your child maintenance for the two oldest children is £900 you may be feeling obliged to actually spend that £900 on them each month - this is a difficult one - as the maintenance is designed to be spent on them

It is supposed to cover their living expenses, including higher housing costs (for example a single person wouldn't necessarily need the 3-bed house a single parent may need) also higher council tax & bills along with food & clothing. At the end of the day it is meant to cover what they need - but not everything they want!

chevalier

HI there a couple of questions.

You mentioned that you were ill. I can sympathise ref the depression. I have it myself. I know where you are there. Are you on the way back up now? If so will you be able to go to work? If not then how about doing survey sites etc to earn a bit of extra money that way?

There are some sites at the bottom of the email.

Also I have to ask, does your OH assume that all is well and there are not problems. Ie that the housekeeping is covering everything? Whilst I agree with other posters that you can cut back on various things, is he paying the true cost of the costs for the children and the food?

Best of luck sorting this
chev
www.lightspeedpanel.com - this is a survey site, where you get points which turn into vouchers (you choose). May not help with the cash flow, but the vouchers could be saved towards birthday/xmas or given as presents.

www.ciao.co.uk - survey site that gives money. A bit fits and starts ie no surveys for a couple of weeks, then three or four the same day.

www.yougov.com - again paid surveys. However takes a while to get to the minimum payout level

www.mytns.com - again this is a survey site, but it pays you in points that convert into Nectar points at Sainsbury’s.

www.pigsback.co.uk - this is a points site, ie they give you points for buying things via their site. BUT you also get points for signing up for news letters (some of which are even interesting!), and also for clicking on adverts with pink borders. I have spent NOTHING with them but got a £10 voucher through this week (only been registered since January). There is also a thread in the freebies section, of https://www.moneysavingexpert.com which gives you all the daily answers to the competitions so you can have a better chance of winning on them.

www.mutualpoints.com - another points for clicks site. You can also buy things via their site and get points too. For a long time, I just clicked the links in the emails they send you, and that gets you 5 points. At 3000 points you get £20 I think. You can do searches via their site and that gets you points too.

www.quidco.com - this is a cash back site, so very good, for checking if any potential new insurers (ie if you have checked your contents insurance say and found a new provider), are offering cash back. Eg Lloyds was offering £120 cashback on new policies at one point (the offers do change). You can also get small amounts of cash again for doing searches via their site. You can earn 52p a day by doing this. Every little helps.

www.greasypalm.co.uk - another cash back site, where you can do searches and get small amounts of money. But it all adds up. I think you can get about 50p a day on there for nothing. Minimum payout is £20 I think, but you can sign up to survey sites via there, and get extra money that way for nothing.

Again more medium term money might come from claiming back bank charges. Also if you had an endowment you can write to your provider suggesting you might have been misinformed about its performance. Many people have got money back on that. There are articles from Martin on the main site about how to go about doing this.
If you are going to do this, it is wise to set up another current account first, with a bank that you have no debt with. Just to be on the safe side.

Are you in the correct banding for your council tax? Again there is an article by Martin on the main website about how to go about checking this. If you are in the wrong band and due a rebate, it is for all the year you have been living in the house since 1991, so this can be several thousand pounds back.

Yorkielass

I presume that your husband and you run seperate finances but have you done an SOA for the things he pays for - electricity, gas, council tax, mortgage/rent etc etc, utilities are often an area where people can save money.

OH and I have a joint bank account where our salaries get paid into and everything comes out of and both sets of parents have the same so seperate bank accounts and house keeping accounts are not something that I have much knowledge of but generally looking at the whole households financial position is a good idea - especially as your OH is effectively paying your debts with the house keeping money.

Well done for posting though - it's not easy and I hope you can make some changes based on what people have posted. Good luck

climbgirl

Ok, the cleaner has to go. I appreciate that you've not been well, but you simply can't afford it. If you can't cope on your own, ask the kids and your husband to help out. I also appreciate what you're saying about the childcare costs for the nursery - it's important to have time to yourself, but someone here had a very good suggestion of swapping baby-sitting times with your friends. They take your kid one morning, you take theirs the next.

Start thinking of creative, lateral solutions to these challenges.

I know kids can be expensive (one of the many, many reasons why I'm not having them!) but again, start thinking outside the square. Do they really need 4 pairs each a year?! I know they grow a lot at that age, but buy the shoes a little bigger if you can. I'm a fully grown adult and got a pair of wellies for £4 from decathlon in central London. They survived glastonbury so they're not a bad quality! Shop around and make sure you're getting the cheapest deal you absolutely can. There might even be a "back to school" board somewhere that will point you in the right direction for the cheap deals....

Check with the Old Style board, they'll have good tips about reducing your food budget as much as possible.

Like I said, think creatively to find a solution to the spending issues. The night in doing a clothes swap is a great idea! If you live close to your friends, why not do a progressive dinner party. Starter at one person's house, main at the next, dessert at the 3rd. It's a bit different from your average night in!

Jacks_xxx

:wave: Hello-o-o my lovely!

I live not far from you, so I can attest to the horrible cost of living around here! :eek: We eventually added up that the cost of me working was more than I earned - so I gave up... and haven't looked back.:T

So.. Well... You may be playing with bigger numbers than many of us but the basic principle is the same - your outgoings exceed your "incomings" (I like to make a new word up once in a while! )

Which means that the solutions are the same too: increase your income (ask Hubby for more housekeeping?) and reduce your spending.

You might have to accept that you cannot have all the things you are currently paying for and make some hard choices.

We sold my car, got rid of our mobiles and charity direct debits, reduced Sky down to the basic package at £21 a month and cut back all spending - but I've kept my Aveda salon hair appointments and Hubby has kept his fitness expenses.

We told the kids that we've been spending above our means for too long because we like to be able to give them a good life - but things are getting out of hand and we're going to have to cut back a bit.

We sat down as a family and decided what it would really break our heart to have to do without, and what we could cut back on to pay for those things.

It really helps having the kids on side - and it can be a bit surprising what they are happy to give up! My two are 18 and 12 and we were really pleased with how sensible they both were when we explained.

Um...Shuffling the debt onto the lowest interest you can get will help too. (0% credit cards have really helped us.)

Also -a little sensitive I know - but does your hubby know how much you owe? It's all much easier when you're working as a team.

I've also found the Old Style Board very helpful in cutting back our grocery bill- especially the Grocery challenges.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=33

Last month we spent £680 on supermarket shopping. (OMG!!! :eek: )

This month I'm aiming for under £500, and the month after I'll cut it back still further. :eek:

Stick with it honey, I think it won't take too much pain to eradicate your deficit.

Love Jacks xxx

PS I forgot to say: I think your clothing budget is pretty realistic. I've been keeping track of what we spend really rigorously the last few months and I seem to spend over £100 on clothes for my daughter every month even though I try really hard not to! She's been growing like a sunflower this year and between getting taller annd taller and taller, (33 inch inside leg!) developing a figure and changing bra size every month, and going through four shoe sizes in the past year she's costing me a fortune!

Bekibuns

Thank you soooooooooooooo much for all your excellent advice, suggestions and support. Have already started putting so much in place already.

I just have one thing to say to Narvo (or is it Parvo, like the virus?) - back off lady, go do your damage elsewhere, I obviously did not go on this site for the same reasons as you, I respectfully ask you to HUMBLE yourself.

To everyone else, the situation so far:

Took on board the fact that my spending is way out of proportion of what is realistic. Am taking a total reality check on my lifestyle and spending. Have acknowledged that I am spending far too much on the children and that I want them to turn into well-balanced nice people with a respect for money and it's value, not spoilt brats. I know that I do not have to justify myself on this site to all well-wishers and fellow-travellers, but if I may, I was married previously to a hooray-Henry, never wanted for anything, did not need to work and had a fantastic house/lifestyle etc. I have always appreciated totally what I have had/experienced and have NEVER taken anyone or anything for granted. However, he was not a particularly nice person and I had the self-esteem of a sewer-rat! I took a bold and brave decision to leave this man after 12 years, with no penny to my name and no job and no skills or confidence. Basically after having a rather stressful time and no-matter what, always putting the children first, I have come through and now have a very happy and fulfilling life and lots of confidence. This is why I have chosen now to actually take positive action about my money problems (I know they are mostly self-induced), but however acquired, I am taking responsibility and am moving forward. I am not confusing treating the kids with any guilt etc. but I suppose I have been in that trap of keeping up with others for too long and I have not wanted the children to give up what they had before (which I realize is now unrealistic).

I today gave my cleaner 4 weeks notice!!!!! I am totally willing to do my own cleaning and always have anyway on top of the cleaner's help. She only used to do the jobs that I did not have time to get around to and the ones that matterd to the safety and hygeine of the family! If any of you wonder why I did not let her go immediately - well, she relies on this job and I wanted to be nice and give her the chance to replace it with another one. (Too soft I know, but hey it's still a step in the right direction)!

I wrote to my bank to my old bank HSBC to reclaim bank charges (which I am sure will be a lot) and today received about thirty envelopes of old statements etc. The postman had to practically bring them in a wheelbarrow! So I am going to be busy this weekend trying to sort through them and work out what I am doing with regards to that. (Will use any repayment if I am successful towards paying the debts of course)!

That's all folks for now, am going to sit down and write my shopping list (essentials only) whilst my little one is having a nap!

Lots of love Beki x :kisses3: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LandyAndy

Bekibuns wrote: »

I just have one thing to say to Narvo (or is it Parvo, like the virus?) - back off lady, go do your damage elsewhere, I obviously did not go on this site for the same reasons as you, I respectfully ask you to HUMBLE yourself.

I didn't particularly like the tone of Narvo's post but this reply is outrageous.