Bekibun's Soa (it Took Ages To Work Out!)

Bekibuns

Okay, so following my earlier posting!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry that I have shocked so many people - yes I have taken it constructively of course as there would not be much point in being so honest otherwise!

I just want to clear some things up, hope no-ones judged me from my SOA - at the end of the day DEBT IS DEBT and whether high/low, wasteful, frivolent etc. it all needs to be dealt with and I am starting somewhere.

First things first. I live in Farnham in Surrey - life here is VERY expensive.
Believe it or not, I have also cut a lot of things out already as I have been following the MSE website for months now and have reduced my bills to the minimum.

I changed my mobile phone from a monthly contract paying for £30 of calls a month I no longer used. Due to the contract not ending for six months I negotiated it down to the minimum possible and now I have ended it I have a sensible PAY-AS-YOU-GO unflashy, non-camera cheapy phone! :j

Childcare - Yes I know it is expensive. This is the situation - I was very ill last year due to stress and had a breakdown. I needed some treatment and finding suitable care for my youngest was at the time a necessity so that I could get better. I was using a childminder for two days per week. Am now better but have to manage my stress levels well or I am susceptible to anxiety and depression (yes I know I live with 3 kids and a husband, but for me this is a serious concern for which I take medication - hence the prescription costs!). I have cut my childcare costs considerably by just putting my son in childcare for 2 sessions of 2 hours per week instead of the childminder :j . Next September he will be old enough for a state place and be able to go up to 5 sessions per week for a concessionary fee, so at the moment, I feel this is a very important cost. (Childcare is Horrendously expensive in this area, I wish it were not so).

Food - The WEEKLY cost is £100 per week including nappies etc. - sorry I put in my monthly total ! I have stopped buying ready meals and cook it all myself (99% of the time). I have stopped buying any takeaways! :j I make the 2 eldest children packed lunches :j - NOT ALL BAD!!!!!!!!

Clothes - In the budget, I have got to admit that my SOA was a budget based on what the expected cost of stuff was throughout the year which is why the totals are so high. I am talking 4 lots of shoes for each child (as they are both over size 6 (and growing fast) which is when you have to pay for adult size shoes and they add on VAT :mad: so four times per year based on approx. £30 per pair of shoes. Add on top of that, every time they grow and replace shoes, you have to have a new pair of trainers too for school/activities - at least £25 per pair and I do not do flashy designer and go to JJB sport usually or similar. I have included Rugby boots for my son which need changing every time he grows. Staggeringly :mad: :mad: :mad: I had to pay £47 for a pair of bog-standard ones the other day in his new size. Fortunately he only plays during the season and not all year! Occaisionally the schools want your children to wear wellie boots for trips/field visits etc. so again more money! (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP)! I will willingly take advice on how to reduce these costs and shop around etc. I am already a regular to e-bay and charity shops and freecycle.

The rest comes down to school uniforms (which the schools are very particular about - state NOT private!) Although, maybe I could look at the second-hand sales :T (she's learning!!!!!!)

I agree, my children do need to have a reality check with regards to what they have, and I also realized that I would have to start saying NO to them an awful lot more when I worked out how much I was spending on them.

Holidays - we went camping in the rain in the New Forest! We had a two day holiday this year and that was it! So I have definately got the message. I have not been on holiday for years and it would definately be a luxery so that is why my SOA contained the projected-budget so that I could include a holiday and start saving for one. I have probably got it completely wrong, but I assumed that when "He, who cannot be mentioned" :money: said include everything, it meant do not brush it under the carpet and include everything. That is what I have done. Obviously, I will make savings wherever possible, so my SOA is probably not totally accurate on that basis.

Haircuts - I have mine done very cheaply every 3 months. I cut the babies as he is too young to complain and my children get theirs cut approx. every 6 weeks. I am going to look into reducing this further and using the local college for my own :j (they do not do under 16's for insurance reasons).

School Trips/Holidays - again I agree there are lots of savings to be made here probably and I will look into this, but they are too old to be fobbed off with the "free" Bible club. Again, just because "little Johnny" goes on every trip, I might have to say NO to the kids sometimes!!!

Going Out - Agree, but it is VERY expensive around here - be creative and give me some inspiration about this one please! Proud to say that I organized a girls' night in and held a clothes-swap party a few months ago!!! :A

Okay, so you are bored already. Will end here and wait for some more useful info. advice etc. But first, even though I know my SOA's are shameful, I am staying positive and taking advice and working towards being debt free and the one thing I will shout from the rooftops and that I am proud as punch about is SELLING MY CAR AND CONVERTING AN OLD CAR TO RUN ON VEGETABLE OIL. Thus cut my fuel costs by a third and feel good about the planet. If no-one else will give me a pat on my Carbon-Back for that then I will jolly well do it my-self. There does not seem to be an icon for that one so a smilie will have to do!!!!!! :rotfl: Yours, Bekibuns x

MRSMCAWBER

Hi there Bekibuns

You are sooo right ... debt is debt.... how its built up is neither here nor there....we are all here for different reason..all with the same aim - to either get debt free or stay it:T

The fact you are on here means your dealing with it ... i have to say PHEW - im so glad your food budget was for the month:rotfl: ....

I cant comment on most of your other costs as i have no children etc... just wanted to say hello ...and so glad you are taking all the comments in the spirit in which they are meant... you can rely on the guys on here to help you cut costs...
good luck, sure we will speak again

Floss

Hi,

Just one thing that Kevicho suggested - it is illegal for a child to do a paper round or almost any other paid employment before their 13th birthday (I know, I used to employ the little darlings in a previous job!)

Burlesque_Babe

hey - not bored at all!!

I think you've done some amazing stuff already - a clothes swapping party is a great idea!

And the oil thing is amazing - I've seen it done on TV, but never 'met' anyone who has done it - well done Mrs!

quantumleap

Your SOA's are not shameful, it is just that you are spending more than you can afford.

And I think most of those who have posted, including myself, appreciate that whilst you live in an expensive area the reality is that you can't afford to be spending the money you are spending on the things you are spending it on.

You have it within your budget to become debt free within a relatively short period of time, I just think you need to cut back a bit and be more inventive in other areas.

Kevicho

Floss wrote: »

Hi,

Just one thing that Kevicho suggested - it is illegal for a child to do a paper round or almost any other paid employment before their 13th birthday (I know, I used to employ the little darlings in a previous job!)

Really?

I did 2 paper rounds from age 11-15, how times have changed, or how someone screwed up with the law lol

Kevicho

One more quickie post, will osmething like this help http://www.mxtabs.net/drumtabs.php , i taught myself guitar from tabs on the net, might save on lessons?

tyllwyd

My comment about your SOA is that you have done it in the wrong direction - you have started with what you feel you need to spend and continued through to the end even though the budget ran out a good while before. The only way it is ever going to balance is if you start with the money you have available to spend and work backwards to decide what you are going to allocate the money on.

The biggest item in your budget seems to be clothes/shoes/activities etc for your kids - if I was in your position, I'd work out a total figure for what I could afford to spend, so that, say, if your son really wants his drum lessons, he has to miss out on a school trip because there isn't enough money to do both, or his 'proper' shoes have to last him a bit longer. You could get the kids involved, so that they get a sense of responsibility by helping to decide what they are going to spend 'their' money on.

mrsspendalot

You can definitely reduce your food from £100 a week. I have a husband and 3 kids (age 7, 4 and 18mths) and we spend no more than £40 a week and that includes toiletries, nappies, wipes, food for packed lunches, etc. Pop over to the oldstyle board.

sparklymessygirl

Hi Bekibuns,
Well done for posting - I think it must have been difficult for you. I have a friend who lives in London who is part of a set that spends freely and I understand that you can get caught up in the expectation of providing presents, children attending social events etc - the trouble is that you don't have the disposable income at the moment to support this so you are going to have to be selective and start splitting expenditure into needs and wants. It looks as if you have realised this already.

The other thing I was thinking about is that as your child maintenance for the two oldest children is £900 you may be feeling obliged to actually spend that £900 on them each month - this is a difficult one - as the maintenance is designed to be spent on them - Anyway, I wish you all the best. It is difficult for outsiders with different incomes and expectations to fully appreciate what is attached to the choices an individual makes.

Keep posting - keep heading in the right direction - it may take a while to get the balance right - just keep assessing it

Sparkly x

PS I am mightily impressed re the car!