puppy advice

Threebabes

Hello

Daughter 12 yr old is desperate for a puppy. We had settled on a Lhasa Aspo. I have now having serious doubts whether we should go ahead.

This would be our first dog. DH doesnt want a dog. DS - 20 yr old, isn't bothered either way, DD who is 16 would help and would like one but not desperate. I would like one but worried about the effect on the household, doggy odor, fleas, barking.

I work 3 days a week going out 730 returning 330. DS is in and out with uni from all day to a few hours. The girls are at school 830-330.

I feel its unfair to leave it for 3 days a week, but DD is desperate for a puppy and I do think she would be a good caring owner and dote on it.

DH has said if Im not 100% sure don't get one.

So what I am asking is do the full family have to be onboard? How much disruption is having a dog to our life and home?

Thank you

Person_one

The time the dog would be left is not bad at all, would just need the right training/adjustment while a pup.

If your husband is dead set against the idea though, I wouldn't do it. Will it mean he won't take any responsibility for the dog? Because there will definitely be times when he will need to, and he will need to be a part of the dog's training and socialisation if it's going to live in the same house and be part of his family.

As for the disruption, having a puppy will turn all your lives upside down initially. Then just as things settle down the pup will be one a teenager and start chewing and misbehaving! If you put the effort in (all of you) and do a good job with training then in a few years you'll have a well behaved adult dog that won't cause you too much stress, but will cost you in vet bills, grooming costs (plus Lhasas need to be brushed every day at home), boarding costs when you go away and will put restrictions on your ability to be spontaneous for years to come! I think it's well worth it, others don't.

Caroline_a

I agree with Person_one. Ask yourself if you would have another baby without your OH's support - a dog is a new member of the family just as a baby is!

Threebabes

Person_one wrote: »

The time the dog would be left is not bad at all, would just need the right training/adjustment while a pup.

If your husband is dead set against the idea though, I wouldn't do it. Will it mean he won't take any responsibility for the dog? Because there will definitely be times when he will need to, and he will need to be a part of the dog's training and socialisation if it's going to live in the same house and be part of his family.

As for the disruption, having a puppy will turn all your lives upside down initially. Then just as things settle down the pup will be one a teenager and start chewing and misbehaving! If you put the effort in (all of you) and do a good job with training then in a few years you'll have a well behaved adult dog that won't cause you too much stress, but will cost you in vet bills, grooming costs (plus Lhasas need to be brushed every day at home), boarding costs when you go away and will put restrictions on your ability to be spontaneous for years to come! I think it's well worth it, others don't.

Thank you for your reply.

I think the problem with my husband is that he has never had a pet, growing up it wasn't allowed. He has no knowledge of having a pet or a dog.

Food for thought thank you.

missbiggles1

I'd suggest getting an older dog rather than a puppy for many reasons, one of which would be to test your daughter's reaction. If it's only a puppy she wants then you'll know not to go ahead - they're not puppies for very long.

catkins

Although the hours the dog would be left alone would probably be ok for an older dog, they would not for a puppy. In order to house train you really need to be with the puppy as much as possible. It is also much easier to teach things like lead walking if you have a lot of time to spare with the dog.


I personally don't think leaving a young puppy for even a couple of hours is very fair especially when you first get them. Ideally you and/or your OH would take at least a week off work to settle the puppy in although that's not really long enough.


Me and OH have had dogs all our married life (36 years) and could not imagine being without one but they are a big commitment and somewhat of a tie. If you want to go away you have to make arrangements for the dog. Even if you are all going out for the day some sort of arrangement should really be made. The longest we leave our dog is 4 hours. Any longer and he either goes to a dog sitter or we arrange for a friend to call in and play with him, let him in the garden etc.


Will anyone else help with the walking? You have to be prepared to walk every day, preferably at least 2 walks. That means in the pouring rain, the snow etc. In the summer if it's hot it may mean walking early morning (I walk my dog at 6am) and late evening. What if you are ill, would your OH or your older children take responsibility for the dog?

RichardD1970

Threebabes wrote: »

Hello

Daughter 12 yr old is desperate for a puppy. We had settled on a Lhasa Aspo. I have now having serious doubts whether we should go ahead.

This would be our first dog. DH doesnt want a dog. DS - 20 yr old, isn't bothered either way, DD who is 16 would help and would like one but not desperate. I would like one but worried about the effect on the household, doggy odor, fleas, barking.

I work 3 days a week going out 730 returning 330. DS is in and out with uni from all day to a few hours. The girls are at school 830-330.

I feel its unfair to leave it for 3 days a week, but DD is desperate for a puppy and I do think she would be a good caring owner and dote on it.

DH has said if Im not 100% sure don't get one.

So what I am asking is do the full family have to be onboard? How much disruption is having a dog to our life and home?

Thank you

Then don't do it.

It is a serious long term commitment that will cost lots of time, money and effort.

If you have any doubts at all then it is not the right thing to do.

sheramber

What makes you think your daughter would be a caring owner?

A dog is not a toy to be doted on- it is a live being who needs kept clean and fed and trained to be a good companion.

Your daughter is 12. A puppy could be with you for the next 10-15years. Where will she be and what will she be doing when she is 22-27?

Have you considered what type of holidays you like? Will a dog fit in with that or will you use kennels?

What about days out? How will you arrange for a carer for the dog.

How much time can you all devote to training the dog- everybody needs to be involved so that the dog does not get conflicting cues and gets confused.

Does you family life accommodate having a dog? Do you like walking in all weathers, can you cope with having a wet , muddy dog spraying mud everywhere? A friend who had a lhasa and used to comment that the bottom 3 feet of her kitchen wall was always mud splattered.

The dog will need good grooming every day and a visit to the groomers every three months or so.

A puppy/dog cannot be put back on shelf when she can't be bothered to care for it or wants to go out with her friends instead.

A dog can be a fabulous companion but is not to be acquired on a whim. There are too many dogs in rescues who are the result of that.

SensibleSarah

I agree that it doesn't sound like the whole family is committed & definitely the time that the dog will be left isn't right for a young pup.

I got my first dog for my 13th birthday after begging virtually since birth. My family were not at all used to pets and took a lot of convincing but I promised that I'd do all of the work. She was a rescue dog around a year old & I was an unusually dedicated teenager so I absolutely did the work. I walked her 3x a day, cleaned up her poo, used all of my pocket money on training classes, dog food, replacing things she chewed in the early days etc. No way would I have been able to house train a young pup as I was at school along with my brothers & my parents both worked. Fortunately she was a dream first dog & there were no behavioural problems that couldn't be overcome with the help of a good training school to teach me how to do things properly. I once put her in kennels when I went away but she was traumatised by the experience so I never went abroad again in her lifetime. She was a massive help to me through my teenage years & I never regretted taking those responsibilities on.

In the end my parents got to really enjoy having the dog around and when I was considering taking a year out and move to another city when I was 20, they offered to look after her. Otherwise I would have had to put my plans on hold. Sadly she was diagnosed with cancer shortly after & had to be put to sleep within the year. So I'm not saying it can't work, but you know your daughter best OP. It's she likely to take the responsibility? Or will it fall to you & your unwilling OH? A small dog like that could easily live well into its teens so it's a huge commitment.

Maybe try getting your daughter to help out at a local rescue centre at weekends for a while - that should test her commitment levels! If she's still as keen in a few months time after seeing some of the hard work involved then that's a good sign.

In terms of the level of household disruption... It's fairly immense. Basically like having another toddler again. You have to revolve a lot around the dog and it's care. You can't have spontaneous days out without making provisions for its care and it's not fair to leave a dog during the day & then leave it again frequently in the evenings if you have fairly busy lives. They repay the sacrifice of course but don't underestimate the changes it could make to your household.

elsien

In my training class was a girl about your DDs age who had been desperate for a puppy, and had agreed to do the training and the walking as part of the deal. And for a good few months that's what happened.
Then they stopped coming to classes. And I bumped into mum a while later while out walking. Daughter had got discouraged because pup wasn't learning as quickly as she hoped so she stopped doing so much training and it all turned into a bit of a vicious circle. End result - mum is now doing the majority of the walking and training and said if she'd known that would be the end result they probably wouldn't have got the dog.
Now I'm not saying that's going to be the case in your situation. But on the grounds of hoping for the best and planning for the worst, who's going to do all the work if daughter can't maintain the effort?

Threebabes

Thanks everyone.

Have decided not now if ever is the right time for a puppy.

Valuable advice, thank you again.