Inheriting home, Wills and father in Council Care

TBagpuss

p00hsticks wrote: »

The OP doesn't say how old they are, but I think if they are over 60 they would not be forced to leave, but the council might place a charge on the property so that they could eventually get their money back when the OP moves out or dies

This was one o the reasons I said 'probably' in my post. The OP said that neither he nor the siblings were dependents !

andyuk2005

To those posters who have said things like 'stop sponging off your parents', 'forge your own way', 'look for your own place to live', 'it isn't your money it's theirs' etc etc.

You are honestly disgusting, horrible and down right unhelpful people who clearly have nothing better to do with your time than offer your twisted opinions rather than actually helping people who came here for help. You have absolutely no idea of the actual situation which we're in and to just contribute by saying disgusting things like that like I'm some over privileged and self entitled laze about just shows that you yourselves are the most horrible of people. In no way should you ever pass your judgement on the moral position of someone else's position.

My Dad worked incredibly hard his entire life and only has a small portion of his care paid for by the state. My Mum has terrible debilitating health problems which requires me to be at the house almost constantly. Me living in the house isn't because I'm lazy or sponging off my parent's like one the disgusting people mentioned on here, it is because care is required and it also means I can visit my Dad more regularly and provide an improved life seeing as most care homes don't offer much of a fun time, have you been to one recently because they really aren't that nice!

And I believe there was one chap who has no idea how care homes work, but the level of care doesn't change regardless of what is paid to the care home, so my Dad passing down his assets to his children as he has always made clear that he has intended will not change his level of care in any way.

If you know anything about the London housing market then you will be aware that 'live somewhere else' is not a plain and simple option. I live at home not because I want to or purely to look after my parents, but there is no other option but to do so.

What I asked originally was essentially effective inheritance planning. The same thing as having parents passing down large gifts within 7 years of their passing to save on inheritance tax. These are all popular and normal tax planning strategies which get published in newspapers weekly and have long guides on how to do that on this very site.

There were a couple of people who were very helpful and cleared up a few things, thank you for that. I do appreciate your efforts and I will take it on board.

For those who came here just to pass their twisted opinion on what is a very sensitive matter, I do not wish you to have close people lose mental capacity, become horrifically ill and throw an entire family into disarray, but maybe that might give you an idea of how stressful these situations have become. To me, you sound like the privileged and entitled ones if you can so brazenly tell someone to stop sponging or move out, you must have no idea how horrible these situation can be and how unrealistic such advice is. I really do hate it when asking questions of these forums and quite frankly idiots like these come along and aren't helpful or supportive to someone's difficult situation at all, seriously get a life.

Thanks to the nice people on here!

AdrianC

andyuk2005 wrote: »

To those posters who have said things like 'stop sponging off your parents', 'forge your own way', 'look for your own place to live', 'it isn't your money it's theirs' etc etc.

You are honestly disgusting, horrible and down right unhelpful people who clearly have nothing better to do with your time than offer your twisted opinions rather than actually helping people who came here for help. You have absolutely no idea of the actual situation which we're in and to just contribute by saying disgusting things like that like I'm some over privileged and self entitled laze about just shows that you yourselves are the most horrible of people. In no way should you ever pass your judgement on the moral position of someone else's position.

My Dad worked incredibly hard his entire life and only has a small portion of his care paid for by the state. My Mum has terrible debilitating health problems which requires me to be at the house almost constantly. Me living in the house isn't because I'm lazy or sponging off my parent's like one the disgusting people mentioned on here, it is because care is required and it also means I can visit my Dad more regularly and provide an improved life seeing as most care homes don't offer much of a fun time, have you been to one recently because they really aren't that nice!

And I believe there was one chap who has no idea how care homes work, but the level of care doesn't change regardless of what is paid to the care home, so my Dad passing down his assets to his children as he has always made clear that he has intended will not change his level of care in any way.

If you know anything about the London housing market then you will be aware that 'live somewhere else' is not a plain and simple option. I live at home not because I want to or purely to look after my parents, but there is no other option but to do so.

What I asked originally was essentially effective inheritance planning. The same thing as having parents passing down large gifts within 7 years of their passing to save on inheritance tax. These are all popular and normal tax planning strategies which get published in newspapers weekly and have long guides on how to do that on this very site.

There were a couple of people who were very helpful and cleared up a few things, thank you for that. I do appreciate your efforts and I will take it on board.

For those who came here just to pass their twisted opinion on what is a very sensitive matter, I do not wish you to have close people lose mental capacity, become horrifically ill and throw an entire family into disarray, but maybe that might give you an idea of how stressful these situations have become. To me, you sound like the privileged and entitled ones if you can so brazenly tell someone to stop sponging or move out, you must have no idea how horrible these situation can be and how unrealistic such advice is. I really do hate it when asking questions of these forums and quite frankly idiots like these come along and aren't helpful or supportive to someone's difficult situation at all, seriously get a life.

Thanks to the nice people on here!

Well, there's a flounce and a half...

Actually, let's pause and think about that for a minute, shall we?

Yes, I'm sure our father did work all his life to build up a home for his family and to ensure a secure retirement for himself. And now he's elderly and in poor health, this is the time to use that money for his care.

Good for you on staying with your parents to care for your mother. While she's alive, she will remain in the house - the local authority won't come looking for repayment of the money they've advanced against your father's care until she no longer needs to live in the house.

You are not a dependent on your mother. She is dependent upon you, and I hope she's claiming all she's entitled to in the way of benefits.

It is only when your mother passes away that you will need to find another source of the funds for your father's care if you do not wish to sell the house. You are perfectly capable of finding somewhere else to live - and will have your share of the value of this house to help you. MANY people are entirely responsible for their own lives, in London and elsewhere.

As for funding not changing the level of care - you've clearly not seen the difference between different care homes, with many of the better ones not accepting local authority-funded residents.

Large gifts passed down may get a reduced or nil IHT liability, but they are still exposed to being viewed as deprivation of assets by the local authority, when it comes to assessing somebody's capability to pay for their own care, and if somebody's home is passed on long before they cease to be able to stay in it, they are at serious risk of losing it through their children's debts or divorce, even ignoring any deliberate actions on the part of ungrateful offspring. Should those children predecease their parents, through accident or illness - hardly unknown - there may be increased IHT risk there, too.

Oh, and fwiw? My M-i-L spent the last seven years of her life in a care home, funded from the sale of the house my OH grew up in - and my father's recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers, thanks for asking...

But I suspect we won't be seeing you again, so you won't read this.

DiamondLil

andyuk2005 wrote: »

To those posters who have said things like 'stop sponging off your parents', 'forge your own way', 'look for your own place to live', 'it isn't your money it's theirs' etc etc.

You are honestly disgusting, horrible and down right unhelpful people who clearly have nothing better to do with your time than offer your twisted opinions rather than actually helping people who came here for help. You have absolutely no idea of the actual situation which we're in and to just contribute by saying disgusting things like that like I'm some over privileged and self entitled laze about just shows that you yourselves are the most horrible of people. In no way should you ever pass your judgement on the moral position of someone else's position.

My Dad worked incredibly hard his entire life and only has a small portion of his care paid for by the state. My Mum has terrible debilitating health problems which requires me to be at the house almost constantly. Me living in the house isn't because I'm lazy or sponging off my parent's like one the disgusting people mentioned on here, it is because care is required and it also means I can visit my Dad more regularly and provide an improved life seeing as most care homes don't offer much of a fun time, have you been to one recently because they really aren't that nice!

And I believe there was one chap who has no idea how care homes work, but the level of care doesn't change regardless of what is paid to the care home, so my Dad passing down his assets to his children as he has always made clear that he has intended will not change his level of care in any way.

If you know anything about the London housing market then you will be aware that 'live somewhere else' is not a plain and simple option. I live at home not because I want to or purely to look after my parents, but there is no other option but to do so.

What I asked originally was essentially effective inheritance planning. The same thing as having parents passing down large gifts within 7 years of their passing to save on inheritance tax. These are all popular and normal tax planning strategies which get published in newspapers weekly and have long guides on how to do that on this very site.

There were a couple of people who were very helpful and cleared up a few things, thank you for that. I do appreciate your efforts and I will take it on board.

For those who came here just to pass their twisted opinion on what is a very sensitive matter, I do not wish you to have close people lose mental capacity, become horrifically ill and throw an entire family into disarray, but maybe that might give you an idea of how stressful these situations have become. To me, you sound like the privileged and entitled ones if you can so brazenly tell someone to stop sponging or move out, you must have no idea how horrible these situation can be and how unrealistic such advice is. I really do hate it when asking questions of these forums and quite frankly idiots like these come along and aren't helpful or supportive to someone's difficult situation at all, seriously get a life.

Thanks to the nice people on here!

Do, please, explain to me and every other tax payer why I should have had to have worked hard all my life, paid the taxes due, and then watch as those taxes are used to fund the care of your asset-rich parent in order that he/she can leave you all that lovely accumulated wealth ?

"Over privileged, self entitled, sponging"..... you said it.

Mojisola

AdrianC wrote: »

While she's alive, she will remain in the house - the local authority won't come looking for repayment of the money they've advanced against your father's care until she no longer needs to live in the house.

The value of the house will not be included in the financial assessment while the spouse is living there so the council won't have put a charge on the property in this case.

Cakeguts

What normal people do in this situation is to find a care home that can accommodate both the parents so that they can continue to live together. I know someone who did this. Only one of the couple had dementia but the other had mobility problems. Really what needs to be done is for the parental home to be sold and both parents to live together in a care home. At the moment we have a married couple who are living apart. If it is a nice expensive house it should fund some nice care for the parents. The care home doesn't have to be in London.

AdrianC

Cakeguts wrote: »

At the moment we have a married couple who are living apart.

Which may well actually be the best thing - it can be incredibly stressful for one partner to not even be recognised by the person they've spent most of their life with, especially if that comes with aggression, as dementia often does.