Huge dilemma, second opinions please.

apeshape

Here's what's happened. I've been fortunate that I've finally found an ok job for my field paying 20k, which gives me about 1350 PCM. Counting my lucky stars after a long period of unemployment. Now this might sound good, except here's the stinger.

I've had to move to commuter belt Surrey. Which is well known for it's cheap and abundant accommodation (har har)

So being desperate to find a place in time to start, I rushed the process and have ended up in a distinctly average house share. In a nutshell....I'm talking live in land lord. No use of living room. Full of land lords sentimental trinkets. Very suburban location (I literally know no one here and I can't see how I'll find/meet any friends out in the boonies) it's also implied I can't invite friends around. (not that I'd feel comfortable bringing them over here)

So even I am starting to feel rather lonely at this point. There are more things I'm pee'ved about but I won't bore with the details. Suffice to say I can't see any future in this arrangement.

Back to cold, hard facts. It's my second week and living here costs me £400 PCM including bills (minus heating, apparently the radiator in my room is just an ornament) Travel to work is about £35 PCM.

Now, since I don't know anyone here I could play the house share lottery again with complete random strangers for 400-500 PCM. Or, go the studio flat / appartment option which would be about £600-900 PCM ex bills.

The studio flat option would be my preference of choice (obviously) but that would gobble up so much of my income inc bills I can't see any possibility of savings or mortgages.

If I had someone to share the costs of that, this would be ideal. But I don't have that option.

Last option would be to throw in the towel on the job, and go back home. Depressing, but possibly not as depressing as my living situation.

Any thoughts? In fact, if after reading this the words GET OUT NOW scream in your head, don't hold back.

casper_g

Find a different house share, where you are part of a group sharing a house rather than you being a lodger with someone you have little in common with. If you're a bit lonely and money's tight then the right house share will solve both these problems.

The problem is your current house share, not house shares in general.

*Robin*

Well, the good news is that you're not tied in to a six or twelve month tenancy, OP. So keep looking around; as a lodger you're in a good position to move on quickly when you find a better alternative.

Bossypants

Oh dear, I'm sorry for you that your living situation isn't working out, it's horrible when you don't have somewhere to feel comfortable.

In your shoes, considering the money situation, I think I would consider playing the room mate roulette at least one more time. Yes it has bitten you this time, but now you have both time and proximity to find somewhere that actually suits you.

First steps:
- Spend some time in areas you might want to live in. Sit in parks/cafes, visit local supermarkets, find out what the nightlife/library/comic book shop/whatever is important to you is like.
- Decide what you would like in a house share. Do you want a social house, where everyone's door is always open and there are weekly meals together? Would you prefer a house where people more or less live side by side and don't really talk to each other unless there is a problem? Think about it carefully, refer to websites run by experienced sharers when considering what might suit you.

Next steps:
- Sign up for spareroom.co.uk (yes I know it's a paying service but as someone who has spent a lot of time looking for sharers, it is by far the best way to find someone reliable and serious).
- Write a profile which is be honest and clear, both about yourself and about what you want. Don't be afraid to specify 'do not wants', it makes life easier for everyone.
- Set up appointments with several places that seem to suit your lifestyle preference. Take your time, don't make decisions same day and don't feel like you have to take anywhere that doesn't feel right.

That would be my advice, good luck whatever you decide!

bouicca21

£400 is pretty good going for the south east. And frankly you are bound to feel lonely after uprooting yourself like that, just keep telling yourself that it is only two weeks which is nothing when you have to carve out a new life for yourself.

I think bossy pants' advice is spot on. But I think you should also look out for some social activities to do too - try Spice or meetup.

apeshape

Thanks all, much appreciated.

Just to confirm, in my shoes would you all pay the extra for the studio flat option? Or would this be too high a proportion of this income to be spending on rent alone. Maybe the opposite is true.

Back to house shares here. Sadly, there really doesn't seem to be many options in my area at all. I'm talking 10 mile radius of Reigate in Surrey : 1/3 of the rooms are mon-fri only. And the other 1/3 want females only. The rest are closer to what a studio would cost.

House sharing preferences : being a single, 30 yr old professional guy I'd really prefer not to be amongst young couples or even just people I have nothing in common with. I hate being that picky, but that's the way it is. But even disregarding my odd preferences, the pickings here seem to be oh so slim.

I digress somewhat, but looking back people tell me someone on my income could get a 3 bed semi in this area on roughly my income levels. Oh how times have changed.

And yes spare room is good, found my current place on it. Made a profile too, but sadly no responses on it :-/

Rosemary7391

I'd stick with the current house share for now (talk to the LL about heating - might be as simple as bleeding your radiator, and it won't be a huge issue over the summer presumably). Try and make friends/acquaintances in the area - what are your interests? Chat to your colleagues too, perhaps some of them might be interested in a house share or have a room to rent. I used to rent from a colleague, worked well and the occasional lift in when it was raining was appreciated! If you've not found anyone to share with in a set time, say 3-6 months, then I'd look at the cheaper end of a studio flat but be careful about the area/neighbours.

Can you get a bike to expand your radius further? Is there a decent public transport line to work you could look along?

camptownraces

Don't restrict yourself to Reigate.
As long as you're not working unsocial hours, you'd have a lot more scope for a new house share or flat share if you looked for a place within 45 - 60 minutes travel of your work.

Look up all the train services and buses. Try some out tomorrow.

Bossypants

apeshape wrote: »

Just to confirm, in my shoes would you all pay the extra for the studio flat option? Or would this be too high a proportion of this income to be spending on rent alone. Maybe the opposite is true.

Personally I would not like to be left with so little after bills, it would be difficult to save up a decent cushion for me.

slowpoke_rodriguez

Dorking may be a bit cheaper and is a lot nicer than Redhill/Reigate. I visited a friend there yestrday and, reading the local paper, was surprised how much cheaper it was than Guildford, presumably as it takes far longer to commute to London.

househuntingmad

Have you tried asking around at work to see if anyone has/ knows anyone with a room going spare?

The reason I ask is when I moved south a few years ago I was sharing and it wasn't going great (mostly because guy I was sharing with kept very different hours to me, and his girlfriend was a nasty racist, homophobic, snobby cow but I digress...) . I hadn't been in the job long and mentioned to a few people about my situation and someone said "Oh I think Dave was thinking about letting his spare room out..."

I stayed there 18 months until I left that job and moved elsewhere. Probably the best houseshare I had (and I did quite a few living south trying to save money).