Need to sort myself out

Hewie29

Hi

Little bit of background.
I'm a 44 year old woman, very overweight, feeling very low, lots of self loathing thoughts. On antidepressants. I co-own a business, am happily married and have 2 teenage children (18 and 15) EEKKK!!!
My Mum died just over 3 years ago of cancer aged 59, my Dad died suddenly this Jan of a heart attack. I have a brain condition called Chiari Malformation, but have been operated on and at the moment I am well.

Basically I feel so low all the time, I try not too and to think positively.
I've had weight problems for years and even though I hate myself for the way I look, I still eat a load of rubbish.

I go to bootcamp twice a week and my instructor says that I am fitter than I look.

I just don't know how to stop feeling so low all the time.
Any tips would be gratefully received
Thank you in advance xx

indsty

First, stop beating yourself up. You have lost both parents within the last three years, you are (I suspect) pretty busy with business, home, teenagers etc.

Why go to bootcamp??? Why not do something fun where you mix with other women, like dance exercise classes, or swimming, or just long walks together. Throw out the unhealthy stuff in the cupboards, it will benefit the whole family. Just DON'T BUY IT. It is much easier to resist while on the supermarket shelf.

Are you sure you really need the antidepressants now? Discuss it with your GP and try to replace them with some other lifestyle changes.

Are you happy? Do you enjoy your business, or has it become a chore?

Don't look too far ahead. If losing the extra weight is important then plan on 1 pound a week. Get the whole family involved with healthier eating.

Make sure your teenagers pull their weight at home - they are old enough to be told that mum feels a bit down and needs some support.

I don't know too much about your medical issue, but hope the surgery has a long lasting effect for you. That too must have been tiring and stressful to deal with along with the symptoms you were suffering.

Hope everything seems brighter for you soon ().

Person_one

I think its completely normal to feel low when you've had two major bereavements very recently, as well as fairly major neurosurgery, but can understand why you're worried about 'self loathing' thoughts.

Have you considered seeing a counsellor to talk through your feelings around losing your parents and about the thoughts you've been having?

lizzy85

I think you need to love yourself first to accept everything. This is really hard but that is the first step to everything. Just accept what you are.

ChemistDude

I like a book called 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olsen

Hewie29

Thank you all for your kind words.
I've just been to bootcamp and I've banished a few of the negative thoughts for now.
I have been thinking about coming off the anti-depressants, I want to make my own happiness.
Off out tomorrow with my daughter taking our dog to the beach, love love love the beach.
xxxxxx

ChemistDude

Good luck to you Hewie29. Get yourself an elastic band and read this: https://walkaboutdoc.wordpress.com/2011/05/26/a-rubber-band-on-the-wrist-to-help-you-forget-self-administered-aversion-therapy/

Person_one

Hewie29 wrote: »

Thank you all for your kind words.
I've just been to bootcamp and I've banished a few of the negative thoughts for now.
I have been thinking about coming off the anti-depressants, I want to make my own happiness.
Off out tomorrow with my daughter taking our dog to the beach, love love love the beach.
xxxxxx

Don't come off the anti-depressants without discussing it with your doctor. They get a bad press but for some people they are very helpful, and its not some kind of failure to take them, any more than its a failure to take insulin if you have diabetes, or a failure to take pain relief and anti-emetics after surgery.

Enjoy the beach tomorrow.

ecgirl07

Hewie29 wrote: »

Thank you all for your kind words.
I've just been to bootcamp and I've banished a few of the negative thoughts for now.
I have been thinking about coming off the anti-depressants, I want to make my own happiness.
Off out tomorrow with my daughter taking our dog to the beach, love love love the beach.
xxxxxx

Look into slimming world, theres a thread in the health/beauty bit. Since joining in august ive lost 3.5 stone, so has my pal, it seems sustainable as an eating plan for life. The groups are friendly too.

BrassicWoman

indsty wrote: »

Are you sure you really need the antidepressants now? Discuss it with your GP and try to replace them with some other lifestyle changes.

Some people just need them to correct a chemical imbalance. There is no shame in taking them any more than there is thyroid medication.

pendragon_arther

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Some people just need them to correct a chemical imbalance. There is no shame in taking them any more than there is thyroid medication.

They are okay maybe for short term but they're not the answer.

I went through a really bad time and felt like sh'ite years ago and didn't want to go down the chemical route. I got some self help books and positive affirmation tapes and read and played the tapes every night. They were subliminal so got through to my unconscious and after a few weeks my outlook changed and I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel. From thereon I became more and more positive and rose above the depression and self loathing.

Good luck.