Stop step grandchildren inheriting

Clutterfree

2stixoftwix wrote: »

Thanks, no it's my mother who is asking not me.
My mother is 75 and is sat on loads of money which she refuses to spend, she has 3 pensions, which she can't spend the capital from each month.
I keep telling her to give it away, spend it and enjoy it before the care system gets it but she likes having it in the bank.

I like my sister in law and don't have a problem with her at all, it seems unfair though that her children should benefit from my dads money when my mum and her step grandchildren have never met (the step grandchildren are in their mid 20's and have children of their own)

We have the same situation in our family and I should imagine it is becoming more and more common now.

My brother has no natural children but 3 step children.
Any inheritance our parents leave us will be up to us to do as we wish.
When my brother dies it will be HIS money to leave to whom he wishes - his step children because he loves and cares about them.

I understand it rankles because my father hasn't met 2 of his step grandchildren either but my dad is leaving his money to HIS own son.

I find it very strange that you'd prefer it to go to anyone but those your brother cares about!

Clutterfree

2stixoftwix wrote: »

Leaving it to me isn't an option - thats unfair
I would be happy for him to a) leave it to a cats home, b) blow it in vegas

Surely it's wrong for step grandchildren to inherit if my mother doesn't want them to

It has nothing to do with YOU who your brother leaves HIS money to!

Let it go before you ruin your sibling relationship forever.

As I said, I'm in the same boat so I know how you feel but it is how the system works.

I should imagine your brother will want to help out his family when he dies rather than a cats home or blowing it in Vegas just to keep his sister happy!

TBagpuss

Your mum needs to talk to a solicitor.

It would be possible for her to make arrangmetns to stop her step-grandchildren, or any son- or daughter-in-law from inheriting, but only by severely restricting what you and your brother could do.

And where does it end. At the moment, you have one 'blood' decendent - what if your child ends up with a step child and children of their own? Would you, would your mum, want to sow dissent between those siblings by forcing their parent to treat them differently> What about any potential adopted children?

I would suggest to your mum that she simply leaves her estat eto you and your brother and trustsd each of you to make up your own minds what you wish to do with your respective shares.

Your mother may not have a relationship with her step-grandchildren, but your brother may well have a relationship with them which would mean he would want to leave *his* assets to them. Alternatively, if he doesn't have that kind of relationship then he may well chose to leave his assets in a different way.

I'd suggest to your mum that she not over think it. She can add into her will provision that if your brother die before her, that the whole of the estate goes to you (or half to you and half to charity, or half to you and half to her grandchildren, or 75 % to you and 25% to her daughter-in-law, or whatever else she wants)

Mossfarr

It must be something to do with age, my mother thinks in the same way as yours.
My mother gifted some of the money she inherited from her father to myself & my brother. She is simply unable to grasp that it's no longer hers and keeps telling me what I can or can't spend it on. I have used some of it to do some renovations in my home and she tells everyone she is spending her inheritence doing my house up! Its very frustrating.
Tell your mum to write down her exact wishes regarding her estate and then speak to a solicitor and adjust her will accordingly.

Savvy_Sue

Keep_pedalling wrote: »

That might work financially, but goodness knows what impact this would have on family relationships. The OPs brother is certainly not going to be very happy about this and the chances of him blaming his sibling for being behind such a cruel will are very high indeed, and I would not rule out an expensive legal challenge over this.

If I was the OP I would tell my mother to do no such thing and that you are perfectly happy to split the money without reservation. We see enough stupid family disputes over wills on this forum, and this has the potencial to be another one, but at least it is at the stage where it can be prevented.

I made the suggestion I did in the hope that if a solicitor explained to Mum that what she wanted to do was difficult and expensive, she'd re-think the matter! Definitely better to insist that Mum sees a solicitor rather than continue to listen to what she does / doesn't want to happen to money she leaves in her will. Either that or it's the cracked record method: it won't be your money once you're dead mum ...

mumps

I hope I have money to leave my children and if I do it will be theirs to do with as they will. Poor brother, does he realise his family is regarded as so second best?

AnotherJoe

mumps wrote: »

I hope I have money to leave my children and if I do it will be theirs to do with as they will. Poor brother, does he realise his family is regarded as so second best?

Well, it sounds as if he's never taken step children round to see mother, so maybe the issue is with him?

Pollycat

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Well, it sounds as if he's never taken step children round to see mother, so maybe the issue is with him?

The OP doesn't say that at all.

All she has posted is that her mother has never met these (grown-up) step-grand children.

It may well be that the OP's brother has never bothered introducing his step-family to his Mother - or it may be that the OP's Mother hasn't wanted to meet them.

mumps

AnotherJoe wrote: »

Well, it sounds as if he's never taken step children round to see mother, so maybe the issue is with him?

Doesn't sound like they would be very welcome to me.