Moving in with my boyfriend...

littlegreenfrog_2

Do you want to move in with your boyfriend? Enough to pay that much per month?

If you are currently living with your parents and saving for a deposit, your living costs are lower now than they would be if you had to pay a market rent. Your boyfriend is asking you to leave your parents' home where you currently live very cheaply, and pay a market rent which will improve the financial position of him and his brother.

Of course it's reasonable to expect you to contribute if you are living there, but I think there should be a little more compromise here. It's not the same as if you and your boyfriend were buying or renting a flat together.

If you were renting a flat together you would decide where you were going to live and you could get a small one bed place or even a studio if you wanted to live together but didn't want to pay a huge amount of rent, or even move into a shared house with other people. You could find a place that suited you both, based on where you work, where your friends and family live, or anything else which is important to you.

If you were buying a place together then again you would choose a place based on what is right for you and what you could afford, and you would both own it together and both be building up equity in it.

Your boyfriend is not in a hurry to buy with you (and probably not in a position to) because he already owns a place with his brother and is already on the property ladder. He wants you to live together, but on his terms. He gets to choose where you live and how much rent you should pay.

I don't think you should get to live there for free, but I also don't think he should be putting pressure on you to move in and pay a certain amount of rent if it's not where you want to live or more than you're prepared to pay. It wouldn't be an equal living situation, it would never really feel like it was "yours", and if you and your boyfriend split up then you will have to move out and fend for yourself, and you won't have built up any equity of your own. If you stay together then how long will you stay in this place? Will he be in any hurry for the two of you to buy a place together?

You should think about all these things and do what is right for you, not what your boyfriend wants you to do because it's right for him.

silvercar

From the BF point of view, if he moves and rents a new place with the GF, he will still have the liabilty for the mortgage, upkeep and bills for the property he owns. Without the mortgage lenders agreement he can't let the property. He doesn't want to sell up because that takes him off the property ladder. So totally understandable that he wants to stay put and the GF move in. He may also feel that he wants to try out living together before he enters the financial commitment of buying with GF (either this place or a new one), so what is he meant to do?

kittyl48

The way I look at it is thus:

Your bf and his brother own the house (presumably 50:50). So they pay the mortgage 50:50.

If the brother sub-let his room / half, and he would pay no mortgage (or rather, the tenant would cover his share), but your bf would still be paying his bit.

If you move in, similarly, I think the brother still covers his bit and you would ideally be paying half your bfs share, and half the bills.

Bear in mind, when they sell the house (regardless if you and your bf are together or not), you get nothing. NADA.

The brother is basically getting a free ride if *you* are paying his mortgage *for him* , you are living there not as a tenant and then you get no share in the proceeds when it sells.

Another way to look at it is this:

You are presumably not able to save as much if you move in with your bf.

He on the other hand, will have to pay less on bills and his share of the mortgage.

He therefore has spare £££ to put into your house deposit fund (and he should do so, to top up the portion that you are no longer able to supply).

It's a tricky one, make no mistake.

Guest101

kittyl48 wrote: »

The way I look at it is thus:

Your bf and his brother own the house (presumably 50:50). So they pay the mortgage 50:50.

If the brother sub-let his room / half, and he would pay no mortgage (or rather, the tenant would cover his share), but your bf would still be paying his bit. - Lodger*. The lodger wouldn't cover his share. The lodger would pay rent, the rent can be used on whatever the brother likes.

If you move in, similarly, I think the brother still covers his bit and you would ideally be paying half your bfs share, and half the bills. - Depends, presumably they get full use of the house. In essence paying the brother to not get a lodger in.

Bear in mind, when they sell the house (regardless if you and your bf are together or not), you get nothing. NADA. - Not true. She could get a beneficial interest in the property.

The brother is basically getting a free ride if *you* are paying his mortgage *for him* , you are living there not as a tenant and then you get no share in the proceeds when it sells. - Not accurate.

Another way to look at it is this:

You are presumably not able to save as much if you move in with your bf.

He on the other hand, will have to pay less on bills and his share of the mortgage.

He therefore has spare £££ to put into your house deposit fund (and he should do so, to top up the portion that you are no longer able to supply).

It's a tricky one, make no mistake.

Makes perfect sense. I'm sorry you don't see it.

silvercar

Always an imbalance when one partner moves into a home owned by the other partner.

Even more difficult when one has been living at home, so had a greater opportunity to save.


In this case it is not clear whether the couple want free run of the house or would be happy for the other bedroom to be let to a lodger (or two).

Lord_Baltimore

Pixie5740 wrote: »

The OP would be neither a tenant or a lodger. Lodgers don't share a bed with their landlords and have their own bedroom. Lodgers' landlords are legally required to get a gas safety certificate (if there are gas appliances) boyfriends asking their girlfriends to move in do not.

You are of course absolutely right. But the purpose of my post is to apply the brakes and invite the OP to think this through and additional advice has now been forthcoming. Sometimes a thread can wrap up with just a couple of contributions. Often an arrangement can look rosier than it really is if things start to go awry.