Moving in with my boyfriend...

LittleBeans9

I completely see your views. I wouldn't want to come between anyone in this situation. Therefore, I have suggested staying at home with my parents and saving my money to build a deposit for our future when his house is sold.

silvercar

Louise_Roddis wrote: »

I completely see your views. I wouldn't want to come between anyone in this situation. Therefore, I have suggested staying at home with my parents and saving my money to build a deposit for our future when his house is sold.

This suggests your concern over money is overriding your desire (or not) to move to the next stage in your relationship.

Dan-Dan

Probably best not to use your real name on here

j_yorks

Sounds completely normal to expect you to contribute for living there. What your boyfriend and his brother do with that money is surely up to them. If they want to give it all to the brother, why shouldn't they?

ViolaLass

You would be moving in at your boyfriend's invitation but the house isn't entirely his. Surely either you agree not to use half the house or you rent that half (with your boyfriend) from the brother.

Hedgehog99

If your BF and his brother's names are on the deeds, they will benefit when the property is sold.

If you wanted a trial x months where you contribute and they allocate the money as they wish, you haven't lost much if the relationship ends, but I'd agree from the start to review the situation after the agreed trial time and, if you and your BF want to continue living there together, from your POV it would be better for you to be on the deeds and buy his brother out of the ownership. Be careful how you and your BF split the ownership based on how much he already owns and whether you can put in a deposit and how much you will each pay in future.

Sounds horribly clinical in relationships that should be about happiness, but you wouldn't want to split up ten years down the line having paid into a mortgage with nothing to show for it. Also need to agree what would happen WRT your contributions if you have kids and take a career break with reduced/no personal income.

McKneff

Surely if you hand over your share then whoevr gets that money shoud be able to spend it however they like. Towards the mortgage, to wards leccy, gas. Etc i think tou are over thinking it

Guest101

You've agreed and are happy to pay X amount.


How it's spent is nothing to do with you surely?

PasturesNew

Where the money goes to is of no concern to you.

You just need to work out if you think the amount you're being asked for is a fair price for living with your boyfriend.

Are you prepared to pay £X to move in with him? That's all you need to think about.

silvercar

Clearly an arrangement where the brother pays half the mortgage but does not live in the property is temporary. It just so happens that your relationship with your boyfriend is becoming more serious at a time when his housing costs are in limbo.

If you take a step back and let the housing issue resolve itself first, you may be able to arrange things on a more financially equal basis. The problem with that is that (a) you have to wait and (b) it may be cheaper and easier to move in to the existing property.

If the brothers decide to sell up to resolve the situation they then incur selling costs and possibly one or both will have buying costs, just because the timing is bad.

One option is that you rent the current property out (giving rental income to the brothers) and you and BF rent somewhere together. Problem with that is whether the brothers want to become accidental landlords, whether the mortgage lender will agree, whether it impacts on either's ability to get a new mortgage.......all because you don't want to feel you are giving money to the brother.

Another option is for brother to rent his room out to a third person and you move in with your BF. Then you get stuck living with a stranger, but at least you can then only contribute to the bills and BF's share of the mortgage. If this doesn't seem an attractive option, then maybe you can see that paying the mortgage isn't so bad.