Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 3

System · 22 April 2016 at 12:29AM

Well today has been semi productive, went to see my friends and my honurary nephew, he is one now and he's bloody adorable

he's so happy and smiley and giggly. He seemed fascianted by my glasses and kept taking them off me and trying to put them on himself :rotfl:

Also got the majority of this dreaded PIP form done, just need Swain to read over it (had to warn him some bits are a bit unpleasant [penguin] in relation to my meds i felt i needed to mention my history of ODing and the fact ive stored up meds to OD on [/penguin] ) then copy it all onto the form. Just want the damn thing out of my sight now

faerielight · 22 April 2016 at 1:05AM

they are awesome Ginger! I wore DMs in the 90s. I feel old that the 90s are back in fashion! I loved the styles of that era.
Tory, well done for speaking to someone. It sounds like you're a bit raw! safe hugs to you x

faerielight · 22 April 2016 at 1:09AM

looking good, Calley, nice dress, so pretty

System · 22 April 2016 at 1:11AM

Only downside is friend asked me if i was broody....

[kids/fertility penguin]

Seeing her bundle of joy i can't deny i felt broody, but after thinking about it some more its making me feel a bit down. I'm in no position to have kids right now. Realistically we're gonna have to wait till ive paid off my debts, Swain gets made perm and we can afford our own place. So realistically we're looking at about 4 years or more before we even consider it. I'm scared because my nan had an early menopause and i know these things can be hereditary.

I'm scared in case the choice gets taken away from me, i'm scared that once we're in a position to have kids i won;t be able to. For a long time i'm not sure i wanted kids but deep down i think i do de#spite the massive risk involved with pregancy. Then i'm scared if we did have kids i wouldn;t be able to cope. Which then makes me think i shouldn;t have them. I'm in a muddle. on the one hand i want them but am scared i won;t be able to have them, on the other i'm scared if i did have them i wouldnt be able to cope and i'd be a crap mother.

I've got enough on my plate right now but now i have this at the back of my mind. I think its the fact i'm turning 30 this year thats triggered it, i always thought i'd have kids by 30 and life hasn't exactly gone to plan

[/penguin]