What is wrong with me ?

Jenniefour

"Is this menopausal perhaps given I'm 50 ?

I am feeling really low at the moment and I can't figure out what's going on. I have always been a really strong confident person and these feelings of hopelessness seem to have come out the blue and I can't make sense of them.

......but I can't shake this awful pessimism .

Anyone else had this ?"

Yes, I identify with this totally and it was because I was menopausal/pre menopausal. I felt as though my feelings were completely ambushing me - surges of anxiety (for no reason), panic attacks (for no reason), irritation (for no reason), depression (for no reason) and a pervasive sense of impending doom.

Although there were one or two minor issues that needed dealing with, all in all my life was very good when this happened. The effects of the menopause on my feelings altered my perception of just about everything - work, personal life, relationship - even though my head "knew" all these were going very well. I found it very hard to keep my normal positive outlook and my confidence evaporated. I was also experiencing short term severe momentary memory loss - e.g. I would answer the door to someone I was expecting and knew well but would forget their name when they were in front of me on the doorstep. It was frightening.

Fortunately, I had an idea what might be going on even though nothing had changed with my periods (but did soon afterwards) - as you do too, see your first sentence - and went to see a doctor friend who specialises in menopause. He ran some blood and saliva tests and the results showed that my hormones were all over the place. My testosterone (yes, women do have some testosterone) was on the floor, hardly any at all. Some of my thinking about the "bigger picture" of my life was completely crazy and couldn't have been more off beam. A mistake I nearly made was contemplating closing down my small very successful business which, up till the dreadful symptoms started, I had enjoyed immensely - and still do. I am so glad I went to see my doctor friend before I put that into action as it would have been disastrous and a life long regret.

So, before you start making any re-arrangments/changes in your life please go and see your GP and ask them to check if you're menopausal/pre menopausal. At least that will give you a starting point and rule out or in whether you're being affected by menopausal symptoms.

Best wishes.

[Deleted User]

Thankyou all for your thoughts and differing perspectives .

Especially you jenniefour as I was hoping for a kindred spirit in that I couldn't really put down why these feelings / moods had started. For me it was deeper than just changing my outlook and habits .

Jenniefour

You could have been writing my experience, BBH123.

When I got the results I felt better because I then knew what was going on and could deal with it much better. And enormously relieved that I wasn't heading for some kind of early dementia scenario - which was one of my fears at the time. It still amazes me how menopausal hormonal changes can wreak such havoc on emotions and suck nearly every bit of enjoyment and energy out of life. I didn't experience the night sweats and other symptoms till later and in comparison to the severe emotional roller coaster they seemed like a very minor inconvenience.

All this started in earnest just after my 50th birthday. Looking back afterwards, I could see how it had been slowly creeping up for quite a few months. So easy to mistake this kind of menopausal presentation for mid life crisis - although it's important for you to keep an open mind at the moment until you've seen your GP and you get some clarity about what's going on.

Just to add, when I recommended not making any changes yet I was referring to major life changing and possibly irreversible premature decisions rather than some of the very helpful possibilities suggested by other posters. Until you know which way the wind is blowing, so to speak.

Hope all goes well.

pickledonionspaceraider

Whatever the cause for this please note you are in a privileged position, and you do come across as having a massive dose of ''self entitlement'' by complaining on things that folk see as luxuries.

[Deleted User]

I think its quite difficult 'waiting' for something big to happen (like the self build). When you feel its not moving forward, its easy to feel like its never going to. Added to the dissatisfaction with your job (and I've had jobs I was totally bored with - little in common with people I work with) I am not surprised you are feeling as you are.

However, to get through jobs that are boring, I focus on little things, like doing things well and/or fast (well is more important though). I set myself challenges to liven things up a bit.

I know I am 50 and I am aware my life hasn't gone as expected (am a carer so not even working, and its not what I did a degree for lol). But I work to find satisfaction where I can. There's nothing I can do to change my caring responsibilities.

Hopefully this waiting period won't last forever, but meanwhile a lot of the suggestions above will be useful. I often wonder about starting up a 'grumpy old' group, just to have a laugh lol.

ElusiveLucy

Jenniefour wrote: »

"Is this menopausal perhaps given I'm 50 ?

I am feeling really low at the moment and I can't figure out what's going on. I have always been a really strong confident person and these feelings of hopelessness seem to have come out the blue and I can't make sense of them.

......but I can't shake this awful pessimism .

Anyone else had this ?"

Yes, I identify with this totally and it was because I was menopausal/pre menopausal. I felt as though my feelings were completely ambushing me - surges of anxiety (for no reason), panic attacks (for no reason), irritation (for no reason), depression (for no reason) and a pervasive sense of impending doom.

Although there were one or two minor issues that needed dealing with, all in all my life was very good when this happened. The effects of the menopause on my feelings altered my perception of just about everything - work, personal life, relationship - even though my head "knew" all these were going very well. I found it very hard to keep my normal positive outlook and my confidence evaporated. I was also experiencing short term severe momentary memory loss - e.g. I would answer the door to someone I was expecting and knew well but would forget their name when they were in front of me on the doorstep. It was frightening.

Fortunately, I had an idea what might be going on even though nothing had changed with my periods (but did soon afterwards) - as you do too, see your first sentence - and went to see a doctor friend who specialises in menopause. He ran some blood and saliva tests and the results showed that my hormones were all over the place. My testosterone (yes, women do have some testosterone) was on the floor, hardly any at all. Some of my thinking about the "bigger picture" of my life was completely crazy and couldn't have been more off beam. A mistake I nearly made was contemplating closing down my small very successful business which, up till the dreadful symptoms started, I had enjoyed immensely - and still do. I am so glad I went to see my doctor friend before I put that into action as it would have been disastrous and a life long regret.

So, before you start making any re-arrangments/changes in your life please go and see your GP and ask them to check if you're menopausal/pre menopausal. At least that will give you a starting point and rule out or in whether you're being affected by menopausal symptoms.

Best wishes.

I TOTALLY agree with all of this as I've been through very similar myself. I went from coping with life to being an emotional wreck who couldn't deal with anything and even the simplest thing got me down. My GP didn't run any test but gave me Citalopram which, after increasing the dose from the minimum, made me feel back to my normal self. I really don't know how I would have managed without it, I think I would have lost my job and I don't know what I would have done with myself. Do go and see your GP, menopause is horrible if you are uninformed as to what can happen to you (as I was).

calicocat

Jenniefour wrote: »

"Is this menopausal perhaps given I'm 50 ?

I am feeling really low at the moment and I can't figure out what's going on. I have always been a really strong confident person and these feelings of hopelessness seem to have come out the blue and I can't make sense of them.

......but I can't shake this awful pessimism .

Anyone else had this ?"

Yes, I identify with this totally and it was because I was menopausal/pre menopausal. I felt as though my feelings were completely ambushing me - surges of anxiety (for no reason), panic attacks (for no reason), irritation (for no reason), depression (for no reason) and a pervasive sense of impending doom.

Although there were one or two minor issues that needed dealing with, all in all my life was very good when this happened. The effects of the menopause on my feelings altered my perception of just about everything - work, personal life, relationship - even though my head "knew" all these were going very well. I found it very hard to keep my normal positive outlook and my confidence evaporated. I was also experiencing short term severe momentary memory loss - e.g. I would answer the door to someone I was expecting and knew well but would forget their name when they were in front of me on the doorstep. It was frightening.

Fortunately, I had an idea what might be going on even though nothing had changed with my periods (but did soon afterwards) - as you do too, see your first sentence - and went to see a doctor friend who specialises in menopause. He ran some blood and saliva tests and the results showed that my hormones were all over the place. My testosterone (yes, women do have some testosterone) was on the floor, hardly any at all. Some of my thinking about the "bigger picture" of my life was completely crazy and couldn't have been more off beam. A mistake I nearly made was contemplating closing down my small very successful business which, up till the dreadful symptoms started, I had enjoyed immensely - and still do. I am so glad I went to see my doctor friend before I put that into action as it would have been disastrous and a life long regret.

So, before you start making any re-arrangments/changes in your life please go and see your GP and ask them to check if you're menopausal/pre menopausal. At least that will give you a starting point and rule out or in whether you're being affected by menopausal symptoms.

Best wishes.

Totally agree with this......


Check with your GP for sure. I hit the menopause like a train wreck, but thankfully knew what was going on due to other symptoms.

belfastgirl23

I have seen this happen with several women I know. For some reason the stronger women seem to find it harder - I think because all their lives they've been used to being in charge and able to cope and suddenly these hormonal changes ambush them and they have no life experience to help them cope with it. It also amplifies other things they are concerned about anyway - so a low lying concern about an adult child becomes acute anxiety for example.

Two suggestions. First is to go to the doctor as the others have said. Second is to really look after yourself - I mean be kind to yourself, eat well, get some exercise, do something holistic (yoga, pilates, massages even) and most of all don't judge yourself too harshly. Remember this is a phase, a stage in your life and it will pass. It's just about holding on in in the meantime.