Payday loan and mental health crisis

Sarahdol75

Sorry to hear this redrose, didnt want to read and run, but please look after yourself.

Hope you can sort this mess out must be heartbreaking for you.

HILLBERN

Oh dear- I really don't have any advice but just to say try and seek help from those who have been there. But definitely seek help from food banks, my daughter only last year had a referral and was able to use their service. Big hugs and we are all here to give you any support we can x

altojack

Sorry that you are having to live with this disease, as that is what it is. I have no first hand knowledge nor can I offer any advice. What I will say is that you need to follow up on the information you have been given earlier so you can attempt to protect yourself and the children.

It can't have been easy for you to open your heart and tell us but you've taken a positive step and I hope you find a solution. Take care of yourself first and foremost as working under a burden such as this is a mighty weight to carry.

Good luck and hugs to you and the children X

1+1=4

Hi rose sorry for what you are going through. been there done that got the t shirt. You need to be very harsh and put yourself in control of all the money he has to have no control over it what so ever. You give him pocket money and he needs to tell you and give you receipts to prove what he has spent it on.
Use k9 on all computer tablets and phones. Get it touch with gam care because you will need support and get him to a meeting asap as this is a problem that will not go away.
All I can advise is get payday loan sorted 1st. Can you ebay or car boot stuff. Cut sky/virgin packages. Sell 1 of his kidneys (joke) but I bet you've thought about it.

Candyapple

squigs wrote: »

You must also put everything that is in joint names, all in just your name, so if the worst comes to the worst and the bailiffs are involved, they can't take anything that belongs to you.


Find out if you have a local food bank and get a referral. At least you will be able to feed the children.

Unfortunately it's not as easy as that, see post #12.

Also joint accounts, mortgages etc. will require both signatories to attend the bank in person and close an account and will not take one person off the account leaving it to the other named party, instead they will insist on closing the joint account and leaving each respective person to either open their own sole account with the bank or go elsewhere. You can't just phone up and say 'I want my partner off the joint account!' it doesn't work like that.

Both parties would also then need to contact all 3 credit reference agencies and fill out a form of financial disassociation to remove said person from being linked to their credit history and being credit searched whenever they applied for credit etc.

Also, it doesn't solve the problem that her husband has already taken her card and used it so unless she has a bank account elsewhere that is only hers/opens a new one, what is to stop him from taking that card? Nothing, exactly, the trust has already been broken before. However, it is still a good idea to have a separate account in your own name, but then begs the question what lengths will you have to stoop to in order to prevent him from stealing your card again - keeping it in your bra?

Rose - you mentioned your husband was having an acute crisis - have you spoken to your local mental health team? GP? How did you resolve this when it happened in the past?

Regarding your rent, does your FIL know what happened to the money? Is it possible he could help again (or another family member)? This time perhaps paying the money in the landlord's account or something? Keeping a roof over your head is number 2 priority (after feeding yourself and the kids).

Do you yourself have any credit cards you could use temporarily to buy food? Or say any Tesco clubcard vouchers, Nectar points, Boots points etc. to buy food with?

I'm guessing your husband set-up some sort of repayment plan with the payday lender - you need to contact them and come to some form of agreement to repay the money before they start taking money from whatever nominated account your husband gave them. Also contact your bank and ask them to cancel any Continuous Payment Authority (CPA) he may have given them to take the money. Name and shame the payday lender as well. You would think with all the bad press recently and fines that they have been charged with other poor treatment of customers that they would be more stringent with their criteria for accepting new customers.

You may also want to cancel any (non-urgent) direct debits you have due to come out (not anything like council tax where you can get in trouble, but say things like gym membership, phone etc). This is not normally good advice, however you said you are already maxed on your overdraft, the last thing you need is for DD's to come out and be thrown into unauthorised overdraft territory along with the heavy charges it comes with, and/or faced with lots of charges for bounced DD's. Your credit history is already poor, a couple of late payments whilst you sort this mess is not going to cause much more harm.

Can you ask for a salary advance from your employer?

squigs

I agree with what you are saying Candyapple, I should have really said in my post, that my suggestions were long term solutions. I realise that a person can't just go in and say take another person off the account.

A gambler can never be trusted, so unforunately it would mean that all bank cards would have to be kept hidden.:(

redrose1414

Thank you all for your advice and support.
My husband gambles online as he doesn't leave the house much due to his mental health issues.
I have taken a lot of the advice and am hopeful to be able to knock this on the head asap and with as little disruption to our children as possible.
It won't be easy to pay all this off but I will not be letting there be a chance of being left with nothing again. I have a bank account now to protect some money.
Thank you again.