Payday loan and mental health crisis

Clive_Woody

I can't offer much advice but you could open a current account in just your own name and keep all money in there so at least he can't access it (so long as he can't get at the card).

Not sure the bank will take his name off the current account you have now if there is an overdraft with an outstanding balance as this way they can chase both of you for the debt.

pk04

Can you set up password protected parental controls on the laptop/ipad?

fuzzgun19

Clive_Woody wrote: »

I can't offer much advice but you could open a current account in just your own name and keep all money in there so at least he can't access it (so long as he can't get at the card).

Not sure the bank will take his name off the current account you have now if there is an overdraft with an outstanding balance as this way they can chase both of you for the debt.

I was going to say do this. I would be trying to keep some money just in my name/bank so I/kids have a bit to fall back on.

I don't have any personal experience of gambling problems so can't comment on that.

Sorry you are going through this bad time. :grouphug:

Brock_and_Roll

Parental controls are unlikely to work - most 13 year olds know how to get round them with proxies or VPNs, never mind a fully grown adult.


However, you can get the router to only allow access to certain devices, for example the OP's computer which she needs to password protect.


But even that is not the answer as the husband could simply pop down to anywhere that has free wifi.


Best bet to is to open a new sole name account - the joint account will eventually run out of "available credit" - if he aint got it, he cant spend it!

rtho782

In it's own way, this is a form of abuse (as in, he is abusing you and the kids, depriving you of.. well everything).

You're much more forgiving than me. I'd be kicking him out.

If the Payday loan is in his name, I'd be leaving it to him to deal with, and financially disassociating myself from him. If it's in your name, I would be reporting the fraud.

Perhaps I'm too harsh, but he's done this twice in less than a week, and if you block every gambling site (which is a ridiculous proposition that you should not have to do) he will just use free Wifi and carry on.

squigs

I have a gambler in my family and it has taken me a long time to realise that there is no cure for this illness:(

Gamblers can be very convincing liars.

The only solution is to completely remove any way that they can get hold of money.
This means, no access to bank accounts.
Don't leave any money lying around or any valuables that can be pawned.
Absolutely no access to the internet, so there can be no online gambling and no online loan applications
If your husband is not prepared to accept these terms, then I am sorry, but your problems will never go away.
I am sorry to be so blunt, but I have had to deal with this problem for over 20 years, so I do know what I am talking about!

I really hope you can sort something out.:)

squigs

You must also put everything that is in joint names, all in just your name, so if the worst comes to the worst and the bailiffs are involved, they can't take anything that belongs to you.

Find out if you have a local food bank and get a referral. At least you will be able to feed the children.

TrulyMadly

Rose ....try Citizens advice. Find out your nearest one and get there early before the queues.

They will help you.

I am so so sorry to hear this:o

aau1

redrose1414 wrote: »

Yes, it's online.

I put the 20 most well known gambling sites (you can only block 20 websites) on my sky shield and he just found another one!
I'll look at gamblock, he has his own iPad so I'll see if it works on that.

What makes it "his"? I would sell it if I was you

That removes an easy way for him to access sites where he can spend money he doesn't have and the funds would go a little way to replacing what he's lost

Sunshinemummy

Rose, special hugs.

If I was you I would be ruthless in protecting what you have left, it is not being mean to him, it is looking after the family (including him!).

My FIL was a terrible gambler, even in his old age he would walk around to anyone's house that he could think would give him money.. he was happy if he got 50p! He'd search the ground and pick any penny up that he could. His gambling was linked to his complex mental health problems (schizophrenia and anxiety). Despite his illness and the impact on the family, he was a much loved man, who loved his family loads but it was hard for MIL who was often asked why she had stayed with him..... I used to get frustrated for her and tell people that he is a good kind man who is ill.

I would look at the organisations for people with gambling addictions, access mental health team (they are usually very good), and CAB.

Remember to take care of yourself xxx