a theory of relationships

heuchera

justme111 wrote: »

I have a theory on why good looking people seem to be more often unlucky in love than the average looking ones. It is because they attract more people who are interested in looks rather than in personality and this is not a sound basis for successful relationship . What does the board think ?

I think you're onto something there. Some of the prettiest women I know ended up with utter dawks. I thought to myself, surely with your looks you can pick any man you want, what are you doing with him :rotfl: Some men do just want a trophy wife/girlfriend.

heuchera

PasturesNew wrote: »

Fat/ugly people have to put up with what they've got as they know they can't get another. So they will go out of their way to be nice, play nice and hold onto what they've got

That's logical, but not true, IMO. There are plenty of rather overweight people who frankly are not much to look at, yet they think they're God's Gift :rotfl:


Ego/self confidence doesn't necessarily match up with looks.

System

People change, looks fade. Sexual relations can differ over time, children you had grow up and move on and what you are left with is two people who are the best of friends and companionship (hopefully).

Maybe if you get the relationship right in the first place the rest of the things will follow.

swingaloo

I met my hubby for the first time after speaking to him on the phone regularly over a period of a few weeks and having no idea what he looked like.

I was also a fair bit older than him and he had no idea what I looked like. When we met up he said he thought I was gorgeous (I'm definitely not but he still tells me I am after 16 years!) whilst Ive always said to him that if we had met in a bar I wouldn't have given him a second look and if Im being honest my first thought on meeting was to leave early!

But 16 years on, after living together for over 14 years we married 6 months ago and are blissfully happy.

So it just shows- You never know!

Gavin83

PasturesNew wrote: »

The more attractive you are, the easier it is to move on/out because you feel confident you'll quickly find another.

Fat/ugly people have to put up with what they've got as they know they can't get another. So they will go out of their way to be nice, play nice and hold onto what they've got

I pretty much agree with this. Super attractive people 'know' they can get pretty much anyone they want and are therefore less likely to work through problems or will get bored quicker. Typically attractive people have attractive partners so this works both ways.

I can't think of a single couple I know where one partner is vastly more/less attractive than the other, despite how much people say looks don't matter.

Of course the exception to this is if someone is rich and/or famous in which case this replaces looks.

mikeeboy wrote: »

The problem is that people hook up with people they 'fancy', and then realise 10 years later that they've got nothing in common and get on each others nerves.

They'd be better off making their best mate their life partner.

Your speaking like your a little bitter about a personal experience here.

I think it's all well and good to say this but what if they don't fancy their best mate? I think both are as important as each other to be honest.

AubreyMac

I saw an interesting and funny programme on c5 (or c4, I can't remember) on why you see many attractive women with ugly men. You never really see it the other way round.


This programme concluded that:


- Women were generally more insecure than men so would go for ugly men as they both know he will not get any better so is less likely to cheat.


- Good looking men are less likely to chat up women as they fear rejection. Ugly men know their odds aren't good so may as well chance it. They had an experiment where they got a model to sit on a bench and many blokes walked by, the only one who chatted her up was an ugly trampy looking bloke.


Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I think everyone can look beautiful and it's whether they make a bit of an effort or not.

justme111

Beauty is a fairly objective thing if one does not mix it up with the whole lot of other factors ( how well it is cared for , facial expressions , body language , dress sense , posture , confidence, social conventions etc etc). Physical beauty in isolation is pretty objective. Show thousands of people a picture of natalie imbruglia when she was young and a picture of most of us at the same age and see who they chose as more beautiful. I was talking about women in particular at the most beautiful end of scale, not similar in the level of beauty but different types, then indeed personal preference plays role.