Unwanted contact from ex?

piddlepuddle

Broke up with an ex a few minths ago. Was getting texts everyday and silent calls to my home and work too- at least one on each a day. Then came the suicide guilt trip when zi didnt reply.

I called the police, more out of concern than anything who gave him a verbal warning. This was 2 weeks ago. Not heard a peep since.

Woke up this morning to a text. Number is blocked so hes texted me off another number

Should i call the police?

TBagpuss

It depends.

You can report it and ask that they start to move towards formal action against him under the protection from harassment act. Contact them via the 101 number not 999 and give them the crime ref. number from the previous incident.

However, it ssounds as though at the moment you are not feeling threatened, but more concerned.

Alternatively, you could send a formal, warning letter, stating explicitly to him that he is not to contact you at all,, either directly or by instructing or encouraging a third party to do so, and that you will consder any text or voicemails, telephone calls, e-mails or letters sent by him or on his beahlf to beharassment and will report them to the police as such.

Get proof of posting the letter and keep a copy.

This makes it easier for the police to pursue the harassment issue if it does continue or escalate, but also allows you to protect your own position without necessarily involvingh police, and may cause him to back off. It may even be more effecive than the police having spoken to him as it is from you, so harder for him to pretend to himself that the police warning wasn't really you / what you wanted.

If you are still concerned for him, then you could also consider contacting a family member, if you know any of his family, or a close friend of his, to let them know that he has been harassing you but also that he has threatened to self harm and while you are no longer with him, you are concerned for him. But that is entirely up to you.

tomtontom

What has he said? How old is this chap, could you speak to his mum or sister and ask them to have a word?

If there's nothing threatening I would try to sort it informally. If he is threatening you then yes, you should call the police.

TBagpuss

Just to add- what did the text say? If he was making threats, whether against you, or to harm himself, then yes, I would contact the police.
If not, it's up to you. But even if you decide to contact the police I would send a warrning ltter as well. It helps clarify things, particualrly where you are talking about behaviour where the issue of whether or not it is harassment is very subjective, at it means he can't pull the "I didn't know she didn't want me to contact her at all, I thought it was OK if I didn't actually say [whatever]"

tea_lover

Strange how many newbies on a money-saving site are having this problem this week.

DomRavioli

tea_lover wrote: »

Strange how many newbies on a money-saving site are having this problem this week.

Exactly my thoughts. I smell a troll.

AndyBSG

tea_lover wrote: »

Strange how many newbies on a money-saving site are having this problem this week.

Why is it strange, stalking from an ex happens to many of us.

For example, I keep telling my exes Kelly Brook, Taylor Swift and Katy Perry to stop pestering me but they simply won't stop!

mark5

I personally would avoid writing to him, he's looking for contact or a direct reaction from you.

McKneff

Automatically delete all calls if youi dont recognise.

Simple as that.

heuchera

piddlepuddle wrote: »

Broke up with an ex a few minths ago. Was getting texts everyday and silent calls to my home and work too- at least one on each a day. Then came the suicide guilt trip when zi didnt reply.

I called the police, more out of concern than anything who gave him a verbal warning. This was 2 weeks ago. Not heard a peep since.

Woke up this morning to a text. Number is blocked so hes texted me off another number

Should i call the police?

Change your mobile number. My friend had to do this when she was getting abusive messages from someone and blocking them didn't stop them. As you say, the idiot just texts from another phone.

Guest101

This isn't a police situation.


Many break ups are messy, take reasonable steps to stop contact - keeping social media private, not answering blocked numbers etc.


Eventually he or she will go away