Best way to combine our finances?

Gloomendoom

We just have 'our' money in separate bank accounts.

Because it's our money there is no need to resort to complex algorithms to work out who pays how much for what and when.

It works for us.

Savvy_Sue

Tashamie1 wrote: »

They don’t need to be necessarily, however because I earn more I find that I am always the one paying for anything we do (meals out, takeaways etc). I thought that by combining our money we would both have an equal amount of ‘spending money’ each month to use on any luxuries. It sounds silly as I know its mostly my earnings that we’ll be sharing but I am beginning to feel resentful each time I treat us to something. It will be nice for him (and me) to be able to say that he’ll pay this time.

There's no one 'best way' to do anything in marriage, but I'd say the thing you need to tackle urgently is the bit I've bolded.

We've always had a joint account: for most of our marriage he's earned the vast majority of it, and I've spent it. But if either of us had worried about whether this was 'fair', I'm sure we'd have talked about it.

More recently, I've been earning and he hasn't. No way do I earn enough to keep us, so we're dipping into 'my' inheritance from my mum, which I'm perfectly fine about. I gave him an update on how much longer that pot would last at our current rate of expenditure, and we've both changed our spending habits as a result, AND he's started generating some money.

BNT

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

There's no one 'best way' to do anything in marriage, but I'd say the thing you need to tackle urgently is the bit I've bolded.

I agree with that. Regardless of your banking arrangements, the money belongs to both of you, whether the account is in your name, his name or both names. We've always had joint accounts and it would never have occurred to me to do it differently. I did learn from a post a couple of years ago, that not everyone does that and some people have other arrangements that work for them, so there is no right or wrong. The problems only occur when you start to think in terms of 'my' money or 'his' money. I have always earned more at work, but my wife has made sacrifices or choices that enable me to earn more, so the money is as much hers as it is mine.

rtho782

Me and my fiancee got together when she was in her first year of uni, as a student nurse so she had a bursary of about £420 a month, plus a maintenance loan of about £700 every 3 months. I was earning, at the time only about £23k. We moved in together after about 10 months.

I paid all the household bills, meals out, gave her extra cash when she needed it for transport to placement etc, she paid for food.

She's graduated now, and is earning £31k. I'm now on about £39k, including some contracting income. We both have our own accounts, but we also have a joint account. When we get paid, we put all our cash bar ~£200 each into the joint account, that £200 is used for whatever we feel like each. All bills come out the joint account, and food, fuel etc. If we eat out, I pay with the joint card (just because I like to feel like I'm paying for her, even though it's "our" money). We both have credit cards but avoid using them most of the time. I put both of our car insurance for the year on my credit card recently, because mine is 0% APR. The DD for this card is set to £500 a month so this will be cleared in 2 months.

Right now we are saving for a house, so mostly living like hermits and saving about £2,500 a month, but we'll continue the joint method when we get a house.

Nationwide seem to love us having money in the joint account as they keep offering us a bigger and bigger overdraft on that account, but we like to keep our own accounts as well - if nothing else it means we can't see what we've bought each other for xmas!

TBagpuss

Tashamie1 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. We lived together for 3 years before we got married and have always shared the bills equally. It just seems that now we're married we're expected to be a bit more grown up about it all .
I think having a joint account or at least a shared pot we can use for luxuries might be the way forward, at least for the short term. It's a minefield this being an adult malarkey!

Another option is to have a joint account for bills, motage etc. Each pay into that, and leave the sole accounts for your respective personal use.

I *personally* would probably try to include, in the amounts you pay into the joint account, enough to cover the basic bills nad household coss plus some to go into joint savings, for things such as holidays, home improvements etc.

Then have sme money you each keep for yourselves, in a sole account. Thatway, you each have money you can spend or save on personal items, individual luxuries or treats. I would try to work it out so that you each have roughtly the same amount for personal spends, rather than each contributing the same amount for bills.

That way, you can be flexible in the future if one of you earns more or less, or if one of reduces working hours outside the home because you have children, or for health reasons, and it means that you have broadly equal spending power.

As ypu have some debt and are the higher earner at present you could agree that the amount which goes into and out of the joint account should an amountto clear that debt over the next few months, with the equivalent amount perhaps being earmarked for joint savigns, once the debt is cleared.

mikeeboy

3 accounts, 2 personal 1 combined.
You each pay a set % of your salary into the combined account per month, leaving a bit behind in your personal account.

This way, as the bigger earner, you pay more into the shared costs, but have more money left over for personal use. It is then up to you if you want to use you personal money on your partner.

I would say the combined account, not only needs to cover bills, but also other things that you would do together like holidays.

Edit:Should have read the thread first, I've just written the same as the post before!

catkins

Me and OH opened a joint account just before we got married (didn't live together) and 35 years later still just have 1 joint account.


When we first got married I was the higher wage earner and over the years it has varied from being me to OH. I now haven't worked for about 3 years due to illhealth so OH is the only earner. We have always called ALL money though "our money".


I will sometimes say I am taking him for a meal but neither of us ever think that actually it is him paying for it

mark5

catkins wrote: »

Me and OH opened a joint account just before we got married (didn't live together) and 35 years later still just have 1 joint account.


When we first got married I was the higher wage earner and over the years it has varied from being me to OH. I now haven't worked for about 3 years due to illhealth so OH is the only earner. We have always called ALL money though "our money".


I will sometimes say I am taking him for a meal but neither of us ever think that actually it is him paying for it

This worked fine for my parents as well, but if they got together today I'm not sure it would work for them.

getmore4less

make your take home the same and use your surplus to bring down the OD

Tell him you are going to focus on getting rid of the OD as by you paying for everything you are getting into debt, so until the OD is gone you have the same amount available as he has to put into the pot for everything you do.

Everything is equal till the OD is gone and then a review.

with a £1400 OD thats going to be around 5months enough time to settle into the spend what you have and then the surplus can go towards savings/emergency for a while and then review again.

northernsaver

Me and my husband don't share our individual wages. We both put a certain amount into our joint account. From this joint account comes all the food, all house bills, birthday presents for each of the families, and takeaways etc.

I get paid more than my husband, so he puts less in the joint account. It's the same percentage but different amounts. This makes it fair.

This works for us but my Dad doesn't understand why we just wouldn't have 1 account everything goes into/out from! This is how we've always done it so as it works, no need to change.

I imagine if we had kids it would be different.