Best way to combine our finances?

Tashamie1

I am recently married and am looking for the best way tocombine our finances. We both get paid monthly and I have worked out that if we combine our salaries, after everything has been paid out we will have about £600 left at the end of the month (before savings), but I’d like advice on the best way of doing this. I earn about £300 more a month than my husband but I also have a £1400 overdraft, so switching accounts isn’t an option for me at the moment. Any advice?

PeacefulWaters

Why do they need to be combined?

Your overdraft could be gone in three months.

But it is possible to switch with an overdraft.

Tashamie1

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Why do they need to be combined?

Your overdraft could be gone in three months.

But it is possible to switch with an overdraft.

They don’t need to be necessarily, however because I earn more I find that I am always the one paying for anything we do (meals out, takeaways etc). I thought that by combining our money we would both have an equal amount of ‘spending money’ each month to use on any luxuries. It sounds silly as I know its mostly my earnings that we’ll be sharing but I am beginning to feel resentful each time I treat us to something. It will be nice for him (and me) to be able to say that he’ll pay this time.

cyantist

Do some research about accounts that offer the best benefits for what you want. You might be better to wait a few months until your overdraft is clear.

However sometimes it's sensible not to have separate accounts. For example my current account gives me a preferential rate on our mortgage, plus cashback on bills, whereas my husband's account gives a preferential rate on our buy to let mortgage, plus freebies like cinema tickets and a decent interest rate. We get twice the benefits from having separate accounts.

For us it makes no difference who pays for what, it all comes out of the same pot regardless. But if it matters to you, maybe you could just pay an extra bill from your account and he'd have more money to take you out for dinner.

krlyr

Either you keep your extra £300 and pay for all the meals etc., or you give that £300 to your OH and he pays for half (or perhaps some) of the meals. If you think about it, you're likely "worse off" sharing that money!

However, every couple's views on finances differs so I can't say what works for you and your hubby. You and hubby may not even agree on it, but you'll have to discuss what you find fair.

OH and I decided that we would split the bills and end up with the same amount of spending money each to keep it fair. He earns more than me, but as part of the agreement, we're both any excess earnings beyond bills and spending money into overpayments on the mortgage, which is more his choice than mine (I know I benefit from it too but equally I'd be happy to pay a mortgage for 25 years if needed, whereas he wants to pay it off quicker). As a result, he'll end up having put more into the house - so as an unmarried (with no plans to change that) couple, we've opted to split the house in differing percentages - should we ever split up, it's then a fairer reflection of what's been put in by each of us, but of course, we expect to stay together and the fact that it's his and my money/house is a bit redundant!

Occasionally, OH might opt to spend his 'overpayment' money on a splurge, and I might dip into my fund (I'm not really a big shopper though to be honest!) but our normal spending money pot is what we use to pay for meals out etc. - and it's just become a thing that we alternate. He probably pays more times than me - but often because he's the one with a hankering for a takeaway when I'd be happy cooking us something for dinner, so it's kind of a "If you want to buy it, go ahead!" decision.


Now might be a good opportunity to overhaul your finances. Perhaps instead of giving him your salary just for the gesture of him paying for meals (because I imagine you may become even more resentful if he still doesn't offer, despite that!), you could work out what spare cash he has and perhaps set out some different budgets - so, for example, a 'meals out' budget that you're both contributing towards and then it's never a case on yours or his turn, but of plucking the money out of a jar/shared account?

fairy_lights

Open a joint account for shared disposable income that you can use for days out and meals etc.
really there's no 'Best way' to combine finances, the best way is simply the way that works for you and your husband. I'm surprised you didn't think about this before you got married to be honest, didn't you live together before?

Tashamie1

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Why do they need to be combined?

Your overdraft could be gone in three months.

But it is possible to switch with an overdraft.

fairy_lights wrote: »

Open a joint account for shared disposable income that you can use for days out and meals etc.
really there's no 'Best way' to combine finances, the best way is simply the way that works for you and your husband. I'm surprised you didn't think about this before you got married to be honest, didn't you live together before?

Thanks for the reply. We lived together for 3 years before we got married and have always shared the bills equally. It just seems that now we're married we're expected to be a bit more grown up about it all .
I think having a joint account or at least a shared pot we can use for luxuries might be the way forward, at least for the short term. It's a minefield this being an adult malarkey!

CapricornLass

Tashamie1,

I've read what you have put down, and I do understand where you are coming from, BUT.....

I would strongly recommend that you keep your salary paying into your sole account. By all means transfer some money into a joint account with your husband to pay the bills, but keep your wages in an account in your name only. Ditto some savings in your name only too.

The sad truth is that many marriages end in separation and divorce. I've worked with too many women who were left with nothing but the kids when their husbands emptied the account and left, or were chucked out with nothing because most of the money was in one party's name. Not all people are good with money either, even someone who is your nearest and dearest. Or your husband might die early - it may affect what money is available for you to live on while probate/letters of administration are being sorted out.

I know that this may sound hard-hearted and even cynical, but you need to be clear-headed about this. One day, you might be glad you were.

Rambosmum

We opened a joint account, and kept our separate ones.

We get paid in to our personal accounts and transfer a set amount per month in to the joint account, this amount covers the supermarket shop, mortgage, water, gas, electric, home and contents and life insurance, tv licence, netflix and an amount for the baby's things. Anything household related basically.

The amount remaining in our individual accounts is for spends (nights out, clothes, make up etc) - we each have a set amount for this. We also each put money away for our car insurance, petrol, mobile insurance and pay our mobile contracts separately too. I also have union fees and gym membership come out of mine, DH pays club fees for his hobby out of his.

Anything left over is savings/ paying off personal debt. Once personal debt is paid off we split the remainder 50% individual savings e.g for christmas, surprise gifts, hen and stag dos or holidays without the other, DH used is to buy a PS4 etc. And half are family savings (joint savings account)- family holidays, new washing machine, deposit for our next house etc.

Works really well for us, we both contribute equally to the household (based on a percentage of our salary, usually 50% as we are pretty equal earners) and still have money left for things we like, I can spend £30 on mac make up and he can't argue and he can buy a PS4 and I can't argue. Also means we can surprise each other at birthday and christmas as purchases aren't on the joint account statement.

mark5

Speaking from experience I would have a joint account for bills etc, this would also be used for joint activities like nights out together, holidays together etc.

Agree how much you will both pay into this account and keep the rest of your pay separate.

Things we pay out of our joint account include mortgage, electric, gas, water, diesel, car insurance, life insurance, house insurance,BT, family holidays, date nights etc. food shopping, any costs relating to our children.

Things I pay out of my money, my car, football season ticket, birthday presents for family members excluding our kids, Mobil phone, my clothes, sky sports subscription.

Things my wife pays for, hair, nails, makeup, nights out with the girls, clothes, hen weekends, her car, Mobil phone, Netflix, presents for friends and family etc

We used to pay equal amounts into the joint account, then when the kids come along we agreed I would pay more leaving us with an equal amount of money for ourselves each month as she reduced her working hours.
Our youngest goes full time in September and she's increasing her hours so we will go back to paying the same amount each in to the joint irrespective of income.

When we moved in together I pushed for joint finances but soon got fed up, she had about 20 friends she bought Xmas and birthday presents. She would also spend more in a month on clothes than I spend in a year.

Equally she didn't like me spending on cars and football.

It works better now, we don't argue about what we spend, and we are only allowed to spend what's in the account no overdrafts or c/c's etc.
I think I am better off financially from not sharing our money but my wife likes the fact she can spend £30 on her nails without me kicking off.

goodwithsaving

Tashamie1 wrote: »

Thanks for the reply. We lived together for 3 years before we got married and have always shared the bills equally. It just seems that now we're married we're expected to be a bit more grown up about it all .

Excuse me. Just because I've lived with someone for 3 years and I do not share my money, it does not make me less of a grown up. I would argue I was being more sensible, but many would not.

There's no 'right' way, but I do wish people stopped being so judgmental. Likewise, for those who don't, it doesn't make the relationship a "business agreement". (Ok, just ranting now. Sorry. It's a touchy subject with me).