Turning 40

prosaver · 28 February 2016 at 4:57PM

im 51 and I could get cancer tommorow stop windging and enjoy your life, ive had a really crap 4 month but Imgetting over it.Do things, get drunk go on holiday, go to amsterdam do it for a year, get it out your system.
youv brought your kid up now it your turn to have fun.I am really enjoying myself now ...life to short and your only 40.
on my 50 th I had abig party and everyone got really drunk and me and my ex went away. it was great.
Youve got all that to come.
so what it you dont get married it only a bit of paper.
what going to happen if you dont, nothing.have fun and let your hair down

consumers_revenge · 28 February 2016 at 5:01PM

40 !!!!!! ..... Your not dead!

I'm 45 this year but tell everyone I'm 42. It's only a number to how you feel, even I've started to believe I'm 42 I've said it so much. It doesn't mean anything really as others have said.

Point is TODAY is where you can start your future. Your past, good or bad, was just practice.

pathtofreedom · 28 February 2016 at 6:10PM

Unless you have health problems already, 40 isn't that old. I'm 38 but do have problems so I have the body of an OAP, but am quite happy still being single.

For me you have a couple of different things going on here, you have to like yourself enough, to be able to live without needing someone else to make you feel like a good person. I think from what you've said you learnt this the hard way once already that getting married, just to be married, won't make you happy.

Then there are kids, you have one kid who's now moving on. Why do you want another kid? My parents were older and it impacted my life a lot both mentally due to my childhood being different, and physically due to the bad genes I ended up with. So how long do people live in your family, how healthy are they when they are older? Is it fair to bring up a kid who when they are leaving home might have to help you with care homes etc? Yes anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow at whatever age, but as a child who grew up in that environment, I wouldn't wish it on someone else.

So just to have your life match some sort of fairy tail with a prince charming and kids now, is that really worth it? What else is going on with your life? Your dreams can change from what you thought as a child. What about you going to uni, or changing career, or going travelling now? As if you can afford another baby you must have a lot of savings to pay for all that childcare etc. Rather than looking to partners / children to make you happy, what can you do for yourself? Do you want to move into a city, or out to the country? Do you want a different lifestyle, or maybe even retire early? If you have a kid now you'll most likely end up working till your 67 to pay for it, is that really what you want?

mikeeboy · 28 February 2016 at 6:12PM

I think this is commonly known as a mid life crisis. Nothing new there.

Plenty of people around feeling like they are getting old and have got nothing to show for it. Only you can decide how you want the rest of your life to turn out.

Good luck.