Son's 9th birthday party dilemma

Lu_Lu

Very minor dilemma going on and would love other people's views on this.

My son's 9th birthday is in March and he has decided he would like to go to Laser Zone with a few friends. This is fine, he has indicated he wants to bring 5 friends and we will take them for something to eat afterwards.

He has also asked if he can have a sleepover as part of his party and we have said yes but he can't have the 5 friends that come to the whole thing and stay (6 x 9 year old boys = stressed Mum!) He has chosen 3 of these friends, but we are thinking we may restrict this to 2 (are we being mean?)

My issue, which the boys probably won't even notice, is taking 5 out during the day and then dropping 2/3 of them at home whilst the rest go back to ours for more fun and games! All 6 are good friends and it seems odd to me but we just can't have 6 boys for a sleepover.

Husband has suggested splitting it up and maybe asking the 3 other boys to come for a sleepover on his actual birthday, which is just before Easter holidays (he's having his party early to avoid Easter weekend and holidays.)

What would you do?

pigpen

have 2 the night before and 3 the night after? as a compromise but still over asap for you. TBH having 6 won't be any harder than having 3.. a couple of pizza's, a film, sleeping bags and a bucket of sweets.

Get a big tent and let them all camp out overnight.. if you have a garden and it is secure. (OR dad can stay out too )

I'd not have any... but I'm just mean.

FBaby

Out of these 5 friends, he really doesn't have two or one he is closer too? Did the same with both DD and DS, but they have a clear best friend or a for a few years two, so it was no surprise at all to anyone that these two would stay over. There has never been any bad feelings/jealousy, probably because they all did similar (ie, DS and DD have been invited to parties when others were invited for the sleepover part but not them)

bright_side

Apart from the stress, is there any other issues as to why they can't all stay the same night? It might actually be less stressful than splitting it over two nights! When mine used to have sleepovers, they'd end up being awake all night (interrupting my sleep) but I just used to tell myself it was only one night out of the year well two as I've got two children :rotfl:

peachyprice

I don't think it's a great idea to take them all out then exclude 3 of them from the sleepover, that will just make the excluded 3 feel like they're 2nd class friends and may cause a rift in an otherwise nice little group. I bet your son wouldn't be too happy if one of them did as you are suggesting and he was one of the ones not chosen to go back for a sleepover!

If you really can't cope with all of them for one night I would go with your OH's suggestion of 2 separate events, the party for all of them then a sleepover for the chosen ones on his actual b/day.

Mojisola

Lu_Lu wrote: »

My son's 9th birthday is in March and he has decided he would like to go to Laser Zone with a few friends. This is fine, he has indicated he wants to bring 5 friends and we will take them for something to eat afterwards.

He has also asked if he can have a sleepover as part of his party

I'd have said no to the sleepover - Lazer Zone and a meal will be long enough - and the friends who aren't invited will soon find out that the party went on after they were dropped of at home.

How would your son feel if he was one of the second-class friends?

I'd have suggested a sleep-over at another time of the year.

missbiggles1

It sounds like a bit too much all on one day - they'll be sick of the sight of each other after all that.

jackyann

I agree - too much all together, and splitting up likely to cause problems. I also think that 2 nights running will lead to "silliness" (of the kind that only 9 year old boys can manufacture!)
I'd explain that whilst sleep-overs are fun, LaserZone etc (lucky boys!) is enough for one birthday treat.

I have to say that personally I would completely separate them and say that he could have a sleep-over for a certain number of friends during a school holiday, or some other time. If you make it sound like another treat (in return for some good behaviour?) I hope he will accept it happily.

He is also lucky to have parents who consider him so much.

meer53

I would let them all sleep over. Then it's all done and dusted in one day. My kids have had sleepovers loads of times, not just for birthdays. They don't care where they sleep, i had 9 girls for a sleepover once ! They just crashed out on my living room floor, ate crisps and drank lemonade for most of the night. I found the boys better than the girls, the boys don't fall out like the girls do.

What worries you about them all sleeping over ?

questionss

I think if there are 5 invitees to the day and 1 or 2 stay over then that's ok but if 3 stay & 2 are left out that is more of an issue. I also think that 6 isn't really anymore difficult than 3.

I definitely wouldn't have sleepovers 2 nights running!!!!

honeypop

I wouldn't keep only some of them on for the night and send some home after the laser party. If it had to be on the same day, I'd either have all boys to stay over or none. You say the boys probably won't even notice, but they will, plus it's bound to be spoken about afterwards as you can't tell the boys who do stay not to ever talk about it.