Can't decide how much to spend on wedding

MandM90

OH and I want to get married.

Not least because he has private healthcare through work which I will also become entitled to once we marry (romantic, eh?)

We could book a date next year and save to pay cash for a big traditional wedding.

What we are in fact considering is walking down to the registry office this summer then going for a meal with immediate family only.

Has anyone else done this? Did you regret the lack of pomp and circumstance or gleefully rush home to book your travels/landscape gardener/extension instead? We bought our first home last year and whenever we start daydreaming about big weddings my mind keeps wandering towards woodburners, kitchens or a family backpacking trip.

HappyMJ

As long as it's a special day for you then that's all that really matters.

The OH and myself are also considering a trip to the registry office as well.

arbrighton

It depends what you actually want. Despite me saying to OH many times in the 9 years before we got engaged 'i'd be happy with reg office and just doing it', we had the big do and it was a wonderful day with family and friends. We were very fortunate that our parents helped out financially though

duchy

Well there's getting married .....and there's having a wedding. If you seperate the two you'll probaby have your answer

I've done the big white wedding before and looking back the money could have been spent on other things - although we had a fantastic day and didn't go completely OTT. (Maybe had we not divorced I woudn't see it as wasteful though LOL)

This time around If we were to marry over here I'd go for a localish registry office which is a fantastic historical building - and then a meal with close family only after-however OH has his heart set on getting married in Vegas -so I've found a very sweet non Vegas style chapel there and that's where we will do the deed. Costs even with flights aren't much different as we aren't taking family with us and it isn't a seperate big budget spend but a slightly more expensive than usual holiday.

arbrighton

duchy wrote: »

Well there's getting married .....and there's having a wedding. If you seperate the two you'll probaby have your answer

I've done the big white wedding before and looking back the money could have been spent on other things - although we had a fantastic day and didn't go completely OTT. (Maybe had we not divorced I woudn't see it as wasteful though LOL)

This time around If we were to marry over here I'd go for a localish registry office which is a fantastic historical building - and then a meal with close family only after-however OH has his heart set on getting married in Vegas -so I've found a very sweet non Vegas style chapel there and that's where we will do the deed. Costs even with flights aren't much different as we aren't taking family with us and it isn't a seperate big budget spend but a slightly more expensive than usual holiday.

Yes- we hired a local town hall for the ceremony which is a STUNNING building - The £100 or so for the hire was well worth it (plus registrar costs) . We then had the reception at a national trust property- not cheap but they were brilliant and it was a lovely setting . We didn't get engaged until just after we left Vegas on our US trip or we might have ended up doing that, with my aunt and uncle as witnesses who live out there.
My aunt and uncle married in Vegas after over 30 years together. No massive costs as they were living in the US. They were going to Vegas anyway, so just got taxi for paperwork, went to chapel having taxi driver and AN Other for witnesses then went off to the convention. Didn't tell ANYONE til after the fact

DigForVictory

I've done the Great White Wedding thing as it seemed to be expected. We had an absolutely corking family bash, even relatives over from Canada as it fitted with their school holidays. However.

If I were able to step into a time machine I'd have told myself to elope, tie the knot anywhere that meant something to the both of us & then have a celebration party with less stress on the dress code. (Although I think I'd urge "hats to be worn" as little cousin won a bet he couldn't get 10 photos of himself in different wedding hats - the photos are glorious, the conversations were hilarious & the ladies recall the bet as fondly as they do the ceremonial...)

I'd only snag a cabbie as a witness if he could afford not to work, or regarded it as part of the job!

Definitely eye registry offices for aesthetics &/or proximity to scenic parks, and plan for a Tuesday. Cheaper & lacking the Oh God It's Monday effect, as well as the "extra cost as it's convenient" Saturday.

All the best!

suki1964

Small and intimate was my choice.

However, we weren't young, and we had been living together for 13 years

We spent all of a £1k, and we had a blast, and the friends who came and celebrated with us also had a ball

For us it was about getting married, not spending money on a days party when we too had a house that needed money spent on, holidays we wanted etc etc

Now our daughter is getting married next week. So I'm experiencing the stress and costs of the big white do, I'm glad she's able to have the wedding she's always wanted, but in I loved mine and wouldn't have had it any other way

MandM90

DigForVictory wrote: »

I've done the Great White Wedding thing as it seemed to be expected. We had an absolutely corking family bash, even relatives over from Canada as it fitted with their school holidays. However.

If I were able to step into a time machine I'd have told myself to elope, tie the knot anywhere that meant something to the both of us & then have a celebration party with less stress on the dress code. (Although I think I'd urge "hats to be worn" as little cousin won a bet he couldn't get 10 photos of himself in different wedding hats - the photos are glorious, the conversations were hilarious & the ladies recall the bet as fondly as they do the ceremonial...)

I'd only snag a cabbie as a witness if he could afford not to work, or regarded it as part of the job!

Definitely eye registry offices for aesthetics &/or proximity to scenic parks, and plan for a Tuesday. Cheaper & lacking the Oh God It's Monday effect, as well as the "extra cost as it's convenient" Saturday.

All the best!

Possibly a silly question, but can you marry at any registry office or only a local one? I'd love a pretty one, and we can marry any day as it'll only be very close family attending.

We are only 25, with a £217k mortgage, dreams of travel and renovations and other things. I think I've decided that thousands of pounds for a wedding just isn't where our priorities lie right now.

OHs uncle has offered us a safari trip for our present (he runs a hotel out in Africa) and in laws to be will pay for flights.

Mum's offered to pay the £1k for the bespoke diamond wedding ring to match my engagement ring. We used the family jewellers OHs whole family have used for years, so they've offered to throw his palladium ring in for free.

I think I'll wear my 4 year old white sundress to the ceremony. OH wants to wear a white shirt and chinos.

I suppose all we have to arrange is the marriage, grub and booze. I'm feeling all disproportionately excited at the idea of a low-key affair now.

duchy

Yes you can use any one you like - it didn't used to be that way though.

My local registry office is a bit grotty inside but has a cathedral and castle as well as a cobbled victorian high street all within strolling (in heels) distance. The next nearest is the old Archbishop's palace and is stunning (and compared with private venues for ceremonies a bargain) . http://www.blushingbridephotography.com/wedding-venues/archbishops-palace-maidstone/. The link is to a photographer's page but it shows all registry offices aren't the same

MandM90

duchy wrote: »

Yes you can use any one you like - it didn't used to be that way though.

My local registry office is a bit grotty inside but has a cathedral and castle as well as a cobbled victorian high street all within strolling (in heels) distance. The next nearest is the old Archbishop's palace and is stunning (and compared with private venues for ceremonies a bargain) . http://www.blushingbridephotography.com/wedding-venues/archbishops-palace-maidstone/. The link is to a photographer's page but it shows all registry offices aren't the same

Thanks...will have to do some digging! It is unfortunate that (like some states in the US) we can't just get a license and marry in the in laws beautiful huge back garden.

duchy

What general area are you looking in ?
Maybe someone can recommend a really nice one nearish to you