Am I lucky?

Missus_Hyde

Firstly, my condolences to you, OP, for the loss of your mother. Sadly, no amount of inheritance can make up for you no longer having your mum. Unfortunately, among families in this position, I'm afraid greed does rear it's ugly head.

My mother passed away sixteen months ago (she was 92, so had a good innings! ) Thankfully, my sister and I have always got on well and our mother's death brought us closer together. Everything was split equally between us, which was perfect and we really didn't worry too much about who had what; we simply suggested which of any special possessions we would like (and included my nieces as well) and that was that, really. We actually had a lot of pleasure together doing up the house for sale, so much so that when my sister bought other houses, my husband and I helped her sort those out as well.

My parents would be turning in their graves if they thought that my sister and I would be greedily squabbling over the inheritance; I trust my sister implicitly, as she does me and we're certainly not going to descend to petty quarrelling over who had what and feeling ourselves hard done by each other. Our relationship is far too important for that.:p

jhgkp

Thank you all for your kind words.

I was really quite upset by it all. I cried for my Mum - so wanted her here to discuss it with her.

Just heard last night from my father that she is now clearing out my mums wardrobe. Part of me is screaming but I don't want to face her. We have never got one - even since kids.

After my mum died - we went to florist to get flowers and I said these ones look nice - she said no - I said why mum liked all flowers - she said how would I know you left home 25 years ago.

I am just going to sit back and remember my happy times with my mum and not the time she was taken away too quick.

Thank you once again one and all - I have thanked you all as appreciate your kindness.

Lily-Rose_3

Can't add much to what people have said jhgkp, but you have done nothing wrong, and I am sorry for your loss. I hope everything is OK.

heuchera

jhgkp wrote: »

After my mum died - we went to florist to get flowers and I said these ones look nice - she said no - I said why mum liked all flowers - she said how would I know you left home 25 years ago.

She sounds delightful. Is she always like this? I know grief brings out the worst in some people.

duchy

It's not just greed -sometimes losing someone brings up a lot of very buried feelings too. Your sister may resent you have done ok for yourself and have your own home and life whilst she didn't have the success or nerve to leave home. She may also have felt that your Mum when she talked about your life was comparing you and your sister and implying she was more proud of you. Nothing but good old sibling rivalry - let her get on with it. You have your bequest and you have your memories. I wouldn't soil those memories with allowing your sister to start a fight over your Mum's clothes- Let her get on with things and be the bigger person. If she wants to start a fight with you - well it takes two to do that.

Your Mum wouldn't want her death to cause bad feeling between you - so don't let your sister's poor behaviour do so.

If she keeps banging on about the money you can always tell her you agree with her and have donated a sum equal to the gift to Mum's favourite charity in her memory so she has nothing to be upset about as you've redressed the balance (just not given it to her )

pigpen

If there was anything in particular you wanted of your mums I suggest speaking to your dad and going to get it.. the rest is just stuff.. her clothes and shoes and bags and make up dont matter.. they are just things.. Did your mum think any of those things were important?

People get far to caught up in the trivia to detract from the enormity of a situation.. but you have memories.. and love.. and maybe one or two special little things.. the rest doesnt matter.. what more do you need?

Let her clear the wardrobe.. it saves you a nasty job! It is your dads place to tell her to stop anyway.. I'd stay out of it and be glad I didnt have to upset myself doing it.