Should I move abroad?

AubreyMac

One of my good friend's older sister moved to Canada about 15 years ago. It left my friend alone with their mum which was fine until their mum got ill and became very demanding. My friend got very resentful at being 'left' to deal with it, at least her sister had an excuse being so far away. My friend wanted to move to another part of the UK but felt she couldn't because of her mum. My friend loves her mum but it was difficult being the only one to rely on, her resentment was towards her sister too.


My sister moved to the midlands and being the youngest it left me being the only and nearest one at home. I found that to be a burden and a strain no matter how much I loved my parents. I felt very held back.


Being in NZ with your brother would make it equal for both of you to be there for your parents.

skint_chick

Have you checked out the cost of being a student there? I was offered a PhD studentship in Australia and even with my international fees and a living allowance and being able to work 20 hours a week (for postgraduate levels only AFAIK) I still couldn't afford to do it. When applying for a visa you need to show proof that you have the funds available for your tuition and living costs so you'll probably want to research that thoroughly before you get too much further

louisemichelle

I have three close friends (not connected to each other) that moved to Wellington, NZ and would never come home. I would say go for it while you can. I wish I had spent less time in Australia and more time in NZ! I started doing a PhD in Australia, legislation has changed there recently so you can work full-time while doing PhD study, but I don't know if that is the case in NZ. I somehow managed to wangle a fees only scholarship with no Masters and a 2:1 so there is hope for everyone- but agree with other posters that you should make sure you know what the rules are, it was tough to get by and had the rules not changed and I had been restricted to part-time working, it would have been impossible to survive financially. Good luck!

pigpen

go... run... flee this vile country spewing hate from every pore... I'd be gone in a flash given the chance.

ttoli

I can only speak for myself .10 Years ago Despite being in a Good Job with great prospects /comfortable lifestyle ,I really wasn't happy ans after a few Holidays here took a career break and moved out to North Cyprus and after 12 months handed my notice in and sold up ,Very different lifestyle now ,100% Happy and can never imagine living back in the UK.

Ganga

Ask yourself a question,would you want to hold back your child/children from a possible dream because you might think that you will need them in later life?
Could you live a happy life knowing you crushed a loved ones dreams by being selfish?
Go for it,you can be back home in a couple of days if needs be but if you do not grasp the chance you will look back all your life on " what if " also remember that your parents have had their " life " your on the other hand have not.

Best of luck with whatever you decide is right for you !

Regards Ganga

Lady_Bee

Thank you again to all of you for replying. Congrats to those of you that took the plunge and haven't looked back and thanks for the parental views as well.

Plenty to look into before even starting to move this forward in any way but I think I have a few things clearer in my mind now.

Petra_70

It depends largely how much family you have. And how well you get on.

I know some people who would rather die than move 12,000 miles away from family, and some who would do anything to be able to get away. LOL.

I think that you have to follow your heart, and not be ruled by what other people say and think, I mean I have been watching a series where families want to move to Australia, and they were adamant they were moving, and were guilt tripped by family, into staying. One couple had everything sorted, including a place to live and jobs, and the woman's mother whined and moaned so much, and made them feel so bad, that they jacked it all in, and stayed in the UK. The woman was 79 FGS. She could die within 5 years, and they would have thrown a huge opportunity away.

All that said, if YOU have doubts, then listen to them, because it's a costly mistake to make. I did hear the other day, that a staggering TWO THIRDS of people who move to Australia regret it, and the majority of this two thirds, actually come back to the UK.

Not heard the stats for NZ, but that is even further away. So think seriously about it.

I would hate it with a passion if my children moved 10,000-12,000 miles away, and I would be upset at the grandbabies I would rarely see - if ever. I want to be in my grandchildren's lives, weekly, and can't imagine my kids ever leaving. I do know around half a dozen people whose offspring live abroad, and they do struggle with it, and rarely see their grandchildren. In fact, with 4 of the people I know, they have grandchildren they have never met, and consequently don't even know.

It is a tough one, it really is. Playing devil's advocate, I don't understand why anyone with close friends and close family would want to move 1000s of miles away to a different country, to live.

It's your choice. Do what your heart tells you.

Thing is, I think you are more likely to regret NOT going, than you are to regret going. I mean, it's not like you can't ever come back is it?! Give it a go if you really really want to.