Vent - My Mother (and her generation?)

Redlady.....

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Was that in social housing and in skilled jobs?

It was in a terraced street of two ups and two downs missbiggles1, private landlord.

Skilled jobs? Most men worked and wages were governed mostly by the unions, who negotiated cost of living rises on a yearly basis. My father was a plasterer and earned a decent wage.

There were 2 cars in our street, no-one had a phone and washing machines were just starting to be popular. My friend's Mum, both parents in full time work, had a keymatic which we all thought was wonderful. In our house we used a mangle in the yard till about 65 when my Mum got a washing machine with a mangle on top.

seaspray10

Like many on here I was born in the 50’s. One of 5 children, brought up in a council house. Mum stayed at home and Dad was a brick layer.

We didn’t have central heating, so didn’t have the worry of rising energy bills or depleting fossil fuel.

We didn’t have a car, so didn’t have the stress and pressure of travelling long distances to work on congested roads. Mum didn’t worry about us playing skipping in the road, as there were next to no cars.

We didn’t have 24 hour TV, so we were totally oblivious to global warming, homelessness, terrorist attacks, etc. We lived in a very small world by comparison. All in the same boat, and I never felt as if I was missing out on anything.

I started my family very young and stayed at home as most mothers did. Now couples are encouraged to establish some security before starting a family(by their parents and society) after which mum’s are then under pressure to go back to work, so much so that mum’s who do choose to stay at home are often treated as second class citizen’s.

I watch my children working hard in full time jobs to better the lives of my grandchildren.

I watch my grandchildren receiving home cooked healthy meals, taking swimming lessons, socializing with their little friends at one of those vast soft play areas. Healthy, happy, confident little people and I feel very proud of my kids.

The parents of yesterday brought up the parents of today, in a world that we created, which I think is a harder place than it used to be, so let’s give them the praise they deserve.

Redlady.....

seaspray10 wrote: »

Like many on here I was born in the 50’s. One of 5 children, brought up in a council house. Mum stayed at home and Dad was a brick layer.

We didn’t have central heating, so didn’t have the worry of rising energy bills or depleting fossil fuel.

We didn’t have a car, so didn’t have the stress and pressure of travelling long distances to work on congested roads. Mum didn’t worry about us playing skipping in the road, as there were next to no cars.

We didn’t have 24 hour TV, so we were totally oblivious to global warming, homelessness, terrorist attacks, etc. We lived in a very small world by comparison. All in the same boat, and I never felt as if I was missing out on anything.

I started my family very young and stayed at home as most mothers did. Now couples are encouraged to establish some security before starting a family(by their parents and society) after which mum’s are then under pressure to go back to work, so much so that mum’s who do choose to stay at home are often treated as second class citizen’s.

I watch my children working hard in full time jobs to better the lives of my grandchildren.

I watch my grandchildren receiving home cooked healthy meals, taking swimming lessons, socializing with their little friends at one of those vast soft play areas. Healthy, happy, confident little people and I feel very proud of my kids.

The parents of yesterday brought up the parents of today, in a world that we created, which I think is a harder place than it used to be, so let’s give them the praise they deserve.

Great post.

mumps

NewShadow wrote: »

Not my generation

Thank you to everyone for your remarkable interest in my fit of pique.

I do love my mother. I will miss her when she's gone (assuming she doesn't out live me).

In some ways we are very alike, and in others completely different.

(*Yorkshire violins*)

The fact is, I didn't get sent to an academy then grammar school; I didn't have my uni accommodation and food paid for; I didn't have my driving lessons paid for; I wasn't bought a car, I wasn't bought a house; I didn't have jobs 'found' for me when I was struggling to find work; I didn't inherit anything from my grand parents; and I'm not going to inherit anything from my parents.

She was well off - as the only child of an accountant, and was fortunate to have financially secure and generous parents that chose to pay the majority of her bills until she married. I understand this is not representative of everyone's experiences.

My mother, quite simply, did have it easier than me. My grandparents worked their socks off, never took holidays, and bent over backwards to make sure my mum had a much better quality of life than they had.

Truthfully this thread has made me realise how lucky she was, but how dependent/selfish it made her - I did for myself - no one to blame but myself if I screwed it up. No one to bail me out or make it all go away.

I can't say if it's easier or tougher now, but I'm fairly confident I could manage and make do wherever I might get plonked down. Take my mum's friends and family away - not so sure...

I am sorry your mother hasn't felt able to give you the same sort of help she got. I am first generation from a family of Irish immigrants, my husbands father was black and came her during the war. They all arrived here with nothing but worked hard and progressed.

Our families are different in many ways but one thing that goes through all branches of the family is trying to improve generation by generation. I do lots of childcare for my grandchildren, I have lots of people saying I do too much but the way I look at it is my mother did it for me, my grandmother did it for her and my great grandmother did it for her, I am paying back my debt to my mother by giving it to the next generation and I hope they will do the same. The same with education, helping where I can with money, paying it on.

Your mother was clearly a very fortunate woman and it says alot about you that you can still say how much you love her even whilst recognising her faults.

I hope fortune will smile on you.:D

mumps

Person_one wrote: »

I have to say, the focus on central heating here surprises me. Its not that uncommon to find older houses these days still without central heating, I looked at a few when I was house hunting recently, and most modern purpose built flats still don't have it and just have electric heaters.

I'm surprised even the fairly grotty student houses my kids lived in had central heating. We got central heating in our second house, about 1980 which was lovely but then got double glazing in 1985 which made a massive difference. As someone said earlier frost on the inside of the windows was common in winter. I expect modern flats are easier to heat but I have never lived in one so don't really know.

Anyone remember the old ladies with permanent scorch marks on their legs from sitting so close to the fire?

Feral_Moon

pelirocco wrote: »

Havent read it all , but you sound very alike:rotfl:

You didn't read it, yet felt the need to quote it in its entirety. Well done you! I gather you don't use mobile devices for viewing the forum :mad:

Feral_Moon

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Actually, when we had grammar schools everywhere, many working class boys and girls could get a first class education and go on to university in the days when it was really worthwhile. Abolishing them really hit social mobility and often meant fewer opportunities.

Quite. I attended a grammar school as a working class pupil and achieved a scholarship to attend university.

Robisere

I refuse to join in the generation-bashing you obviously wanted to provoke, but why did you have to paint all of my generation with the same brush that you use to picture your mother? I am 71 in a couple of weeks, but I am not going to tell you more about how hard my life was, just the part where my mentally-ill mother put me in a coma for 3 days at 6 years old, using a coal shovel. The climax of a pattern of abuse that ended when I was sent to my aunt's to live for almost 3 years, until treatment and lifelong medication put her on an even keel, although she could never understand my complete rejection of her. Would you have preferred to have had a mum like that?

missbiggles1

Person_one wrote: »

I have to say, the focus on central heating here surprises me. Its not that uncommon to find older houses these days still without central heating, I looked at a few when I was house hunting recently, and most modern purpose built flats still don't have it and just have electric heaters.

We sold a house in the country over 20 years ago having put in storage heaters and a multi fuel stove because there was obviously no gas. Even the people who actually viewed it weren't interested because it didn't have central heating and, when we eventually sold it (at a loss), the buyers put in LPG central heating within months.

Apparently fewer than 10% of homes didn't have central heating 10 years ago and it's seen as an indicator of poverty.

http://www.poverty.org.uk/77/index.shtml

missbiggles1

seaspray10 wrote: »

Like many on here I was born in the 50’s. One of 5 children, brought up in a council house. Mum stayed at home and Dad was a brick layer.

We didn’t have central heating, so didn’t have the worry of rising energy bills or depleting fossil fuel.

We didn’t have a car, so didn’t have the stress and pressure of travelling long distances to work on congested roads. Mum didn’t worry about us playing skipping in the road, as there were next to no cars.

We didn’t have 24 hour TV, so we were totally oblivious to global warming, homelessness, terrorist attacks, etc. We lived in a very small world by comparison. All in the same boat, and I never felt as if I was missing out on anything.

I started my family very young and stayed at home as most mothers did. Now couples are encouraged to establish some security before starting a family(by their parents and society) after which mum’s are then under pressure to go back to work, so much so that mum’s who do choose to stay at home are often treated as second class citizen’s.

I watch my children working hard in full time jobs to better the lives of my grandchildren.

I watch my grandchildren receiving home cooked healthy meals, taking swimming lessons, socializing with their little friends at one of those vast soft play areas. Healthy, happy, confident little people and I feel very proud of my kids.

The parents of yesterday brought up the parents of today, in a world that we created, which I think is a harder place than it used to be, so let’s give them the praise they deserve.

What our generation did have was living in the shadow of The Bomb and the fear of nuclear war breaking out.