Feeling Alone - worried about the future

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'm guessing a mass card is something that Catholic/Irish families do, along with everybody going to funerals to pay their respects - I know of the expectation for people to just know attendance at a funeral doesn't require an invite, but other people don't have that same background and wouldn't dream of turning up uninvited.

OH has just struggled over a condolences card for the first time and he knew both the person and the family - he just didn't know what to write, or whether just sending the card signed would be upsetting, because he hadn't written something personal in it. And sometimes, when you don't know what to say, it's felt to be better to say nothing for fear of causing further hurt.

He sent the card in the end, but he's dreading a negative reaction from what he wrote, his choice of card, the pen he used, the time it took to get there....all because he actually does care.


Looking at other things, your job - has it improved your quality of life? Did changing make it less difficult to deal with the other challenges, compared to how the old one would have affected you? If so, that's a success that you should be congratulating yourself upon. And you had the foresight to build up savings which have seen you through recent times - plus you're in a position where you can still book a holiday, so you're quite fortunate in that respect. Your DH got another job and things are picking up. Most of all, whilst you were sadly bereaved, neither you or your Dad had That Diagnosis.

In my mind, you've got quite a lot to be proud about/happy for and perhaps if you were to take a little to time to acknowledge those things, you wouldn't feel quite as down, because you have achieved a lot over recent months.

Tammykitty

Thanks Jojo,

You are right the mass cards are an Irish Catholic, and me and most of my friends are Irish Catholic, mostly the same backgrounds and we All know about mass cards

The new job definitely made everything easier, so it was definitely a plus point, and yeah things are looking up now, and hopefully will continue to do so

Tammykitty

LameWolf wrote: »

Hi Tammykitty I didn't want to read and run.
You sound to me as if you might be suffering depression - not surprising when you think of what life has thrown at you and DH recently.

Fwiw, it'd probably not occur to me to send a card if someone lost a close family member; just not something that my family ever did. Just a thought.

Like you, I worry greatly about the future - I have only my DH in the world; I'm disabled and he's my sole carer, and he's also 10 years older than me. All we can do is take a day at a time and try not to think too far ahead (yeah, easier said than done).
All the worse tonight since he's just called me to say he doesn't know when he'll be home as he's had an accident on the way home from work and is waiting for the RAC to rescue him!:eek:

What I will say is if you're eating up the savings, do please try to stick to your budget. Is it a realistic budget, or are you paring yourself down too much, and that's why you're not sticking to it?

Hang in there, hopefully there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Hope your husband is home now and ok.

I think I need to review the budget and add in a bit more for luxuries, but still not eat into the savings, just don't increase them for a while. Its a tough budget I had set for us, which at the minute isn't what we need.

suki1964

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down about things

You have been through a very stressful period , which you coped with I'm kind of guessing now all that's been got through you now have time to reflect and you are looking for stresses where you needn't.

I do the same all the time

Well done for turning off face ache. If there's one thing that can make you dissatisfied with your life, it's that. I use it, mainly for groups I'm interested in but I can tell you, if I'm even the slightest bit down, I can use the fact my sister ignores any posts of mine on there as a tool to beat myself up


I don't know how big your budget is, what's in your budget, or why you keep breaking it. How about coming over to the old style board and get some help and advice there. There's even threads on feed a family of four on £20, a tad too extreme for me, but it's achievable Even if you get some ideas on how to shave £20 a month off the budget it's got to help, ease some of the pressure you are piling on yourself? I personally like the oldstyle board , I love the challenges and the friendships that develop through us all being in the same boat. It may be helpful for you for this time in your life

Whatever , you have got through a tough time and you have coped. That in itself is worth at least a pat on the back. You need to learn to give yourself some slack and be proud of what you have achieved


Take care X