Two kids,two dogs and a marriage break up.

emzky

Hi, so I'm just wondering if there is anyone on here who is a single mum of two like me who is going through a marriage break down? I'm after some advice on how I go about setting up on my own? We are joint owners of a property which unfortunately would need to be sold and equity shared equally. But I don't know where to start. My husband has always earnt too much to claim so I have no idea what to do or who to call hope someone can give some help or links etc? TIA

tw1nklestar

Hi hope you are ok - I found myself in this position many moons ago - I believe there is a benefits calculator so you know how much income you will have - I was lucky enough that my wage and working tax credits as well as child maintenance meant that the three children, dog and I could stay in the house. You will also pay less council tax as there is a single adult subsidy x good luck

elsien

There are a lot of individual factors to take into account. Earnings,npenisons, age of children, who they will live with, maintenance for the children, whether you are married and how long for, etc.
Your presumption that the house will have to be sold and the equity split equally isn't necessarily the case. The finances depend on a lot of factors and there's a duty to keep a roof over the children's head for now.
I would suggest finding a solicitor who works with mediation rather than holding out for every penny. Get a free half hour session as a starting point. Then take it from there but if you're able, mediation is the way to go.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/relationship-problems/ending-a-marriage/

emzky

Thank you for the advice. If I said I was ok about it I'd be lying. It really is a shame.

Dustyblinds

emzky wrote: »

Thank you for the advice. If I said I was ok about it I'd be lying. It really is a shame.

It's is a shame, I'm so sorry your going through this. I have no advice to give. Just hope you get the help and support you need, especially with 2 kids and 2 dogs. It can't be easy.
Good luck.

[Deleted User]

Try and sort it out amicably if you can as the solicitors will cost more and more money the more you use them and chase things.

Pollycat

You may find that the equity isn't split equally.

A good friend of mine came out of her divorce with 60% equity.
Even though her eldest child was only 12 at the time of her split, her solicitor told her that she would have to put the house up for sale (he wanted his share to set up with somebody else) unless she could afford to buy him out.

Here's the link to the benefit calculators:
https://www.gov.uk/benefits-calculators

Benefits for you would depend on the ages of your children.

Your ex should pay child maintenance. Link here to give you an idea of how much:
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

Any pensions for each of you will also need to be considered.
My friend has a share of her ex's pension.

Good luck, it's a very stressful time.
I hope you have some good friends to help you through.

emzky

Thank you so much. You've all been so kind. Its a long story but my Husband is clinically depressed. Hes getting the help he needs. I've been supportive throughout but he has said it feels best if we weren't together. Its awful because its not what I want at all. I love him to bits and care about his well being. Our kids are 5 and 6 months. He says he still wants us to be friends and will help me with whatever I need. He has a really well paid job so I know financially he will be fine. It's just a daunting prospect having to go ahead and think about a life on benefits. Whilst trying to do what's best for the children. They didn't ask for this. Bless them.

RAS

Hi

You may be able to keep the house, at least in the short term.

1. Check the benefits situation with https://www.turn2us.org.uk. You can claim Mortgage Interest Allowance after 3 months but be aware that the rules about this will change in the next few years.

2. If you can afford to run the house and pay the mortgage, you may not have to sell it even if that is what you ex wants.

3. In your situation you are likely to get more than 50% of any equity.

3. Check what child support your ex is supposed pay pay on the CMS calculator.

duchy

With such young children it is likely that you may be able to stay in the house with the children. You really need good advice and should make an appointment with a solicitor who specializes in family law.

You don't need to do anything more at this point than discuss your options with them -nothing to stop your husband moving out and renting or staying with friends or family in the meantime to give you both some space and clarity (and maybe the reality might make him realize what he has to lose) if he's well paid enough to afford the mortgage (or his share as you'll be entitled to single parent benefits and child support once he moves out) as well in the short term at least.

CAB can go through a benefits check with you so you can see what you'd be living on as a single parent family -as he is well paid the legal minimum of child support may very well mean you will be better off than you expect and be able to afford the mortgage. You won't know until you find out so best to get that advice before making any decisions .

emzky

Thsnkyou all again for such lovely, supportive responses. He's said he's willing to be ammicable about everything. As Ive got a 6month old I'd ideally want to care for her myself than ship her off for someone else to look after so wouldn't be able to pay a mortgage. Not sure if I'd even be able to get benefits when I've got equity in a property. Its only a small amount of equity.He's on a good wage. Over 37pa