Money lent to a friend - Not Repaid - Seemingly no intention of doing so

mither_2

Hello All,


I have looked through the Forum headings and this seems to be the closest that I can find.


Possibly not the intention of this forum but I find it a very good source of advice and ideas.


My situation:
Lent a friend £700. It was to be used to bridge his finance when purchasing a house and I would get the cash back within 4 days as he was to receive funds from a commercial loan but needed the cash. Its now been 4 months. In hindsight very naïve of me and not something I will ever do again. We had grown apart anyway since I moved away from the area and this is why he possibly thought I'd be the easiest person to rip off as he wouldn't run into me regularly.


He's been dodging me for 4 months now. One lie after another, problems with the bank, transfer not gone through etc. The friendship is dead. I will get the cash back one way or another but even when I do we're finished as he's completely lied to me and his further lies are insulting.


Anyway, I know his wife and can contact her directly if necessary as we friends on Facebook and know each other well. I haven't contacted her yet but will if necessary and am certainly willing to suggest that I will if it will help him pay up.


I suspect he's gambled the money, spent it on other women or wasted it in some other way. he always has lived beyond his means (this makes me sound even more foolish). Early on I asked if there was a problem as at that point I would have been willing to help (we were once good friends and I could have helped) but he kept on blaming it on problems with the bank. I'be offered to let him pay me in installments if he doesn't have the cash but he's denied any financial problems and instead continues to blame the bank.


His wife has a very good job and would be the main earner. £700 would not be a large amount of money to her.


However, I strongly doubt she's been told anything by him about this loan.


My plan is:
1) He's blaming the bank errors and errors by himself rather than confessing that he doesn't have the cash. He's also said that his wife has been down to the bank to transfer the funds but there was a problem. On this basis I'll suggest why don't I contact her directly via Facebook and give her the bank details. At this point he may pay but will most likely continue to lie.


If this doesn't work then I contact his wife


2) The way he has been acting I suspect that there is something going on and she's suspicious off him anyway without me dropping this surprise. he asked me to cover some lie for him not so long ago which I said I wouldn't (alarm bells should have been ringing!)


This could lead to all sorts of issues and so I hope to avoid it.
She remains a lovely person and wouldn't want to hurt her. I think she is pretty naïve about how he is now. He wasn't always so dishonest.




If she won't pay.


3) This is the tricky part. I have whatsapp messages, texts, bank transfers etch detailing the transactions and our discussions. His lies put himself in an ever worsening position (as I see it anyway).


I'd hate to do it but what legal recourse do I have?
Small claims court?
Would I incur costs in pursuing it?
Could this costs make it not worthwhile pursuing?
What is the likelihood of me being successful?
Is it worth the time vs effort?
Is this a large enough amount to pursue?


What would consequences be for me? I suspect it would give him a minor criminal record and possibly limit his ability to borrow from elsewhere? A CCJ or some other kind of punishment?


£700 is a lot of money to me. The difference is that it would pay for a holiday or two rather than be the difference between me paying my rent or not.


There is a principle here and I am very reluctant to just let him walk away with the money. I certainly don't want to go as far as step 3 but I need a plan and do not believe in making idle threats. I should be prepared to follow through with this if plan 2 doesn't success.


I wouldn't feel any guilt about doing it to him (he's shown none in ripping me off) but his wife is lovely and would feel guilt about hurting her in anyway.


A tricky situation.


Any thoughts/advice?


Particularly around part 3. I'm not sure if it is even an option.


A cautionary tale for anyone who is asked to lend money by a friend. You think you know someone but that's not always the case.


Thanks in advance















My plan

Candyapple

Read this thread:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/76953

If you went via small claims court, if you won, to actually see your money you will have to pay more money out for bailiffs/enforcement and even then, if he pleads poverty the judge may order he pays back £1 per month or something silly.

He won't end up with a criminal record at all.

You should look into all the costs of small claims and evaluate whether you are throwing good money after bad.

https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money/overview

Hopefully for you, his wife will repay you because I don't see him doing anything but dodging you. Keep us updated.

27col

It's a pity you did not come to this forum before you threw your money away.
If the wife won't pay then you had better write it down to experience.
Be thankful that the amount you have lost is only £700. Although this may be a lot for you to lose, it is not worth the legal hassle to chase it.

Pixie5740

I'm not sure I would contact the wife, it's not her debt. I would send a letter-before-action to the former friend and then take the git to small claims court if necessary. You might never see your £700 again but if you get a CCJ awarded against him that could throw a spanner in the works for him further down the line.

Gaz83

Yep, it's not the wife's debt. As you say yourself she had nothing to do with it. If it goes to court and he's ordered to repay, but doesn't have any assets in his own name, her assets can't be used to repay it.

foxy-stoat

Forget about the £700 - it was gone the day you lend it - if you get some of it back its a bonus.

Face-ache his wife and explain everything, say you are going to to go to the small claims court and he will end up with a CCJ, which will effect both his and her credit rating, mortgage etc etc. She may pay up.

Herzlos

Exactly; the friendship is dead so get in touch with the wife as apparently she already knows. Maybe she'll slap him into paying, or pay you the money back yourself.

Explain the whole thing to her, and say that after 4 months you've given up chasing, so can she have a word because if he doesn't pay up you're going to issue small claim papers.

Jackieboy

Give him an ultimatum - cough up or you'll tell his wife. May not work but no harm in trying.

DCFC79

How well do you know the wife ?

Is she likely to lean on him to make him pay what he owes ?

Why not explain to the wife you lent him the money and he hasn't paid you back, no need to go into why you think he hasn't paid you back.

burlington6

How often do we have people on here asking if they should lend money to a friend.

DON'T DO IT IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE IT

Ben8282

You must be very angry and I appreciate that but I'm sorry to tell you that there is nothing you can do as you do not have any sort of legally enforceable agreement.
Would also strongly suggest against harassment of the wife or you might be the one to end up with the criminal record.
You could contact her though. Get in touch with her and say that you are trying to get in touch with her husband about the money that I lent you (plural) to buy your (plural) new house.


PS
I lost £30 'lending' money to a 'friend' over Christmas. Told me on Christmas eve debit card stolen and needed some cash until the new debit card arrived. Still waiting.