Nice People Thread No. 15, a Cyber Summer

chris_m

Pyxis wrote: »

School howlers

You now owe me a decaffeinated keyboard and screen :rotfl:

GDB2222

I loved the outlining of the Oedipus Complex, Pyxis!

Pyxis

chris_m wrote: »

You now owe me a decaffeinated keyboard and screen :rotfl:

Oh dear! Sowee!

GDB2222 wrote: »

I loved the outlining of the Oedipus Complex, Pyxis!

Well, he did what he was instructed to do by the question!

The thing is, with one or two of those answers, you can't deny they aren't true!

I mean, the House of Lords does keep the people inside dry and warm! It's got to earn a couple of points for truth! Ok, it falls a bit short of the full answer required, but it is still true!

GDB2222

To get a car to go at .00036 m/s - it's a third of a mm a second. So, park it up with the handbrake applied. Then push it with your hand. There should be enough play in the suspension to allow a few mm of travel.

You'd have to experiment to see how hard to push it, but I think a fairly gentle shove should be enough.

Pyxis

Here are some more.......... CHRIS, STAND WELL BACK FROM THE COMPUTER!


# The first cells were probably…?
Lonely.

# Write an example of a risk:
This.

# Give a brief explanation of the meaning of the term ‘hard water’:
Ice.

# What is the process for separating a mixture of chalk and sand?
A process called flirtation


# What is the meaning of the term ‘activation energy’?
It’s what is needed to get me up in the morning.

# Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom.

# To change centimetres to metres, you…?
Take out centi.

# Name one of the early Romans’ greatest achievements:
Learning to speak Latin.

# Write two hundred thousand in figures:
Two hundred thousand in figures.

# What is the main reason for Divorce?
Marriage.

# Brian has 50 slices of cake. He eats 48. What has he now?
Diabetes.
.
# How can you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.

# What is a fibula?
A small lie.

# Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’:
The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

# What is a turbine?
Something an Arab or a Shriek (sic) wears on his head.


And this is probably my favourite.......

# What is a vibration?
There are good vibrations and bad vibrations. Good vibrations were discovered in the 1960s.
:rotfl:

Pyxis

GDB2222 wrote: »

To get a car to go at .00036 m/s - it's a third of a mm a second. So, park it up with the handbrake applied. Then push it with your hand. There should be enough play in the suspension to allow a few mm of travel.

You'd have to experiment to see how hard to push it, but I think a fairly gentle shove should be enough.

:rotfl: I read that as miles per second! Still fixated in mph old money, obviously! :rotfl:

No wonder my clutch control isn't good enough! :rotfl:

chris_m

Pyxis wrote: »

Here are some more.......... CHRIS, STAND WELL BACK FROM THE COMPUTER!

I put my coffee down, thanks for the warning

michaels

Pyxis wrote: »

Oh dear! Sowee!




Well, he did what he was instructed to do by the question!

The thing is, with one or two of those answers, you can't deny they aren't true!

I mean, the House of Lords does keep the people inside dry and warm! It's got to earn a couple of points for truth! Ok, it falls a bit short of the full answer required, but it is still true!

Whereas I see the House of Lords answer as concise, insightful satire on the British democratic deficit.

vivatifosi

Pyxis wrote: »

How would you tell, if the letters don't have "braille" on them?

If you switched keys between rows, then the rake of the key would be different. If you change a key within a row, say from middle to end, then some keyboards are slightly sloped. Even if they are not, we could feel a difference in texture. Say for example you swapped my Q and E keys, well my e is much smoother and worn. My vowel and common letter keys are all worn out.

ivyleaf

Thank you for the chuckles, Pyxis and of course I agree it's good to "Know stuff", as I remember Fearne Cotton exhorting us ages ago - I think she must have been advertising Newsbeat or something. (BBC News for young people)

CK Sorry to hear things haven't been good lately. Thanks for the dodgy hug; sending you a (HUG) back, and I hope things will shortly be on the up for you!.