Divorcing question.

[Deleted User]

Ok so me and my stbx wife are divorcing, she announced back in October she wanted out.
We have a 4 year old daughter and our home with a joint savings. We agreed on 50:50 of house sale and joint savings.
She then recommended we started saving our own money as we prepare to split.
The joint current account which all the bills come out of was in her name then I got added. As we are now separating and her stating since we are divorcing she is free to do whatever she wants, sleep with other people, go away when she wants etc.

I have now started preparing for the divorce so i have now started my wages going into my old bank account and transferred funds into the joint account to pay bills, food shopping etc etc.
She has now just flipped saying I should still pay my wages into the joint account until we divorce.

She has also just started calling me all the names under the sun and demanding I disclose my secret accounts?
She is in for a shock as I sold all my shares and cashed in my savings plan to buy this house and literally sold everything. The only thing I have now is my bank account where I have started saving a little money every month since she told me she wants a divorce (as she has too).
She has also said that her car which is paid off is not classed as an asset as told by her solicitor? Is that right?

Am I in the wrong with regards to my wages going into my account seeing as we are divorcing, why would anyone keep putting their wage into a partners bank when they are divorcing. She could literally take it all and do a runner couldn't she?

Anyway rant over guess i was proved right that she would show her true colours over money, the thing that hurts is she keeps accusing me of having thousands hidden away when in reality it all went into the house and I worked very hard to build our savings pot back up.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Are you in the wrong?

Nope.

Could you prove the sale of these things prior to the purchase of the house?

Yep.



/End of thread

TBagpuss

Deleted_User wrote: »

Ok so me and my stbx wife are divorcing, she announced back in October she wanted out.
We have a 4 year old daughter and our home with a joint savings. We agreed on 50:50 of house sale and joint savings.
She then recommended we started saving our own money as we prepare to split.
The joint current account which all the bills come out of was in her name then I got added. As we are now separating and her stating since we are divorcing she is free to do whatever she wants, sleep with other people, go away when she wants etc.

Yes, she is free to live her own life. So are you. Irrelevant to the finacial split

I have now started preparing for the divorce so i have now started my wages going into my old bank account and transferred funds into the joint account to pay bills, food shopping etc etc.
She has now just flipped saying I should still pay my wages into the joint account until we divorce.

It is perfectly normal to start to separate out finances and to each have your own account. So long as you are contributing a fair share towards outgoings 'fair' may = more than 50% if you earn more than she does) it is resonable to do things this way. You will have to provide copies of all of your bank statements as both of you have an obligation to provide full and frank financial disclosure

She has also just started calling me all the names under the sun and demanding I disclose my secret accounts?
She is in for a shock as I sold all my shares and cashed in my savings plan to buy this house and literally sold everything. The only thing I have now is my bank account where I have started saving a little money every month since she told me she wants a divorce (as she has too).

see above. You will each have to provide bank statemetns for evey account you have an interet in, and all accoutns are part of the matrimonial assets regardless of whose name they are in.

She has also said that her car which is paid off is not classed as an asset as told by her solicitor? Is that right?

The car is an asset but it is fairly common to disregard cars. If you each have a vehicle and each need a vehicle then normally you just each keep your own and ignore them for the purtposes of negotiation. If there is only one vehicle, or if there is a big difference in value (e.g. you are driving a 10 year old car worth £1,000 and she is driving a brand new car worth £50,000, or vice versa) then the value of the vehicles would be more relevant.

Am I in the wrong with regards to my wages going into my account seeing as we are divorcing, why would anyone keep putting their wage into a partners bank when they are divorcing. She could literally take it all and do a runner couldn't she?

See above. Yes, either of you could take money out of the joint account.

Anyway rant over guess i was proved right that she would show her true colours over money, the thing that hurts is she keeps accusing me of having thousands hidden away when in reality it all went into the house and I worked very hard to build our savings pot back up.

Both of you will have to priovide full disclosure. If she thinks you have savings then it would be sensible for youi to provide full disclosure on a voluintary basis as soon as you can so that she can see that you don't, and the two of you can move on to start to discuss the way forward.

mgdavid

in addition to above, if you are in a position to save a bit now, I would be discreetly passing some of it (not all) to a very good pal or family member in cash, so you have some sort of emergency fund as a cushion, however small, in case the !!!! really hits the fan...

TBagpuss

mgdavid wrote: »

in addition to above, if you are in a position to save a bit now, I would be discreetly passing some of it (not all) to a very good pal or family member in cash, so you have some sort of emergency fund as a cushion, however small, in case the !!!! really hits the fan...

If you do that you will still have to disclose that money, it remains yours and the family member is a trustee.

If you do this and disclose it, then you are are no better off than if you put it into another bank account in your own name, except you give the impression to the court nad your ex that you are trying to hide assets, which will not help you.

If you do this and don't disclose it then you are failing to provide full and frank disclosure and you give your ex ground to appeal any order, not to mention the fact that if you are shown to have been dishonest or untruthful about one area of your finances then any other evidence you give is also open to chellenge.

It's a truly terrible idea. Don't do it.

[Deleted User]

I'm not going down that route although i know she is giving money to her mother so i will see if she discloses that.
I have gathered all mine and our finicial dealings together just to prove there is nothing else.
Just had the petition through and wow lets just say the woman is a fantasist going off the reasons for the breakdown, but i will sign it after stating i dont agree with any of it just to get her gone.
Staying civil for the sake of our little girl but its hard to do.

paddy's_mum

Deleted_User wrote: »

She .... demanding I disclose my secret accounts?
She is in for a shock as I sold all my shares and cashed in my savings plan to buy this house

I find myself wondering why your wife was apparently kept in the dark, by you, over something so fundamental.

DUTR

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I find myself wondering why your wife was apparently kept in the dark, by you, over something so fundamental.

Are you suggesting she only (and all other women) only marry for the financial side of things?

Grenage

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I find myself wondering why your wife was apparently kept in the dark, by you, over something so fundamental.

I think you might be misunderstanding the OP; he's saying that he has no secret stores of cash.

paddy's_mum

Grenage wrote: »

I think you might be misunderstanding the OP; he's saying that he has no secret stores of cash.

I suspect that you are misunderstanding me

I am asking why the wife is "in for a shock" if the family's finances have been straightforward, honest and open.

DUTR

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I suspect that you are misunderstanding me

I am asking why the wife is "in for a shock" if the family's finances have been straightforward, honest and open.

I suspect because the OP has spent the money before the stbx could ?