Tuesday 9th Feb - What small DFW things will you do today?

foxgloves

Makethechange,
I sympathize with the difficult downstairs neighbours. Years ago, I lived in a downstairs flat & had similar-sounding neighbours upstairs.....aggressive &, as they were the local drug dealers, they 'knew a lit of people', if you see what I mean. Their toddler didn't really irritate me with noise, certainly not enough to complain about. As with any conflict, complaining about very general things like 'Your children are too noisy' doesn't give enough info to help you assess if there's a solution. In the interests of neighbourly relatiions, I wonder if there are maybe a couple of things which could be easily solved, which sound like nothing to you upstairs, but are loud to the people downstairs. As a former downstairs tenant, this is mostly loud stomping feet & crashes onto the floor esp at night or v early in the morning. Of course it may be that your neighbours don't much like children & have no experience of their natural exhuberance....or they're just unpleasant & enjoy moaning.
I think it is a good idea to keep a log of incidents that feel threatening. If you genuinely can't think of anything your children were doing at the time which was particularly noisy, then it sounds like they are just being difficult & unpleasant.
F x

foxgloves

Morning Savers,
Just popped in for a coffee. Am busy clearing out the shed. Sky blue, sun shining, birds singing. Can't wait to start sowing & growing.
*Laundry done overnight on cheap tariff. All pegged outside to dry. Washer reloaded & timer set for final load of the week overnight.
*Put a stew in the slow cooker using some of the rubber pork, leftover gravy, stock & various pots of bits & pieces frozen for such purposes.
*Make tomorrow's packed lunch & breakfast.
*Make a list of everything I need to do tomorrow while I have the car. Aiming to plan my route so as to end up at friend's house for coffee.
*Shed clearing in progress. Heading back down there in a minute. Am sorting pots, seed trays, etc. I've saved lots of plastic meat trays, yoghurt pots, the waxed paper coffee cups etc, so rarely need to buy anything for seed sowing & potting up. Am also chucking out stuff which isn't being used as there is clutter down there which will soon be my Annoying Things lists if it doesn't get shifted.
*mr f popping in for quick cuppa on route to his meeting later this afternoon. Says it'll keep him out of Costas. Fair play, then!
*Knit some more purple sock. Finished first one last night & cast on the 2nd. Think my next project might be making some things to sell.
Ok, have a nice afternoon all. The shed beckons......oooh, the glamour!!
F x

make_the_change

foxgloves wrote: »

Makethechange,
I sympathize with the difficult downstairs neighbours. Years ago, I lived in a downstairs flat & had similar-sounding neighbours upstairs.....aggressive &, as they were the local drug dealers, they 'knew a lit of people', if you see what I mean. Their toddler didn't really irritate me with noise, certainly not enough to complain about. As with any conflict, complaining about very general things like 'Your children are too noisy' doesn't give enough info to help you assess if there's a solution. In the interests of neighbourly relatiions, I wonder if there are maybe a couple of things which could be easily solved, which sound like nothing to you upstairs, but are loud to the people downstairs. As a former downstairs tenant, this is mostly loud stomping feet & crashes onto the floor esp at night or v early in the morning. Of course it may be that your neighbours don't much like children & have no experience of their natural exhuberance....or they're just unpleasant & enjoy moaning.
I think it is a good idea to keep a log of incidents that feel threatening. If you genuinely can't think of anything your children were doing at the time which was particularly noisy, then it sounds like they are just being difficult & unpleasant.
F x

Thanks.

I'm not saying the children don't make noise, but after speaking to him last night, again being very aggressive towards me, it's like the slightest noise is an issue. The moment he came up was when my daughter was in bed and my son on the sofa. It appeared my 6 month old playing in his chair was the cause of the problem!

I am just at my wits end with them.

La_escocesa

Hi guys :hello:

Thanks for starting us off Ally :A

Gosh MTC – you’ve really got a lot going on at the min. Sending you lots of positive thoughts for the grumpy neighbours to realise that kids will be kids!! :grouphug:

Got some belters in the ys bit at T’s last night – parsley plant for 6p, chives for 3p, stir fry veg for 5p, potato for soup for 4p and some posh cheeses for £1 :dance: Got home and OH asked ‘How are we going to eat all of that tonight?’ Arghhhh, it’s not going to go off at the stroke of midnight?!

What else...
Brekkie from stores – no longer having a croissant shop on the way to work is doing wonders for me :rotfl:
Didn’t wash my hair (‘didn’t she say that yesterday?!’ I hear you cry )
Got a lift to work so no parking to be paid
Packed lunch – cottage cheese w/ crackers, dried fruit, crisps from multipack (85p for 6 rather than 50p for 1 at my work :cool:)
Pancakes tonight :T A nice ‘use up’ tea – some savoury then lots sweet
Updating YNAB – need to update for mine and OH’s inflows (:D) and extra expenses () – GC went out the window this week with store cupboard and cleaning stuff (and see below ) – but now that is out of the way I’m feeling positive about the rest of the month. Guess I need to build that into the budget better... :think:
Tidying round this evening – the never-ending task it seems!
Got OH’s bday pressie – worth £70; got it for £32.50 so happy about that one.

I’m purposely not giving myself too much as a ‘to do’ list for this evening as for the past few nights I’ve done nothing (except teaching so trying not to be too harsh on myself...) but tonight I think I need to get an early night... Pre midnight would be a bonus!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ladies (foxgloves especially because she loves hearing about money-wasting gadgets...) my spending impulse got the better of me last night in the homeware aisle... I reigned it in/let it out by splurging 50p of my hard-earned cash on a.....garlic peeler.... :rotfl: What the h3ll?! That could’ve been my PAD to cc but instead I have a silicone garlic peeler to show for it. Mind you, it could’ve been worse – I was eyeing up ceramic lemon juicers, Tupperware, food flasks and candles... :rotfl:

make_the_change

La_escocesa wrote: »

Hi guys :hello:

Thanks for starting us off Ally :A

Gosh MTC – you’ve really got a lot going on at the min. Sending you lots of positive thoughts for the grumpy neighbours to realise that kids will be kids!! :grouphug:

Got some belters in the ys bit at T’s last night – parsley plant for 6p, chives for 3p, stir fry veg for 5p, potato for soup for 4p and some posh cheeses for £1 :dance: Got home and OH asked ‘How are we going to eat all of that tonight?’ Arghhhh, it’s not going to go off at the stroke of midnight?!

What else...
Brekkie from stores – no longer having a croissant shop on the way to work is doing wonders for me :rotfl:
Didn’t wash my hair (‘didn’t she say that yesterday?!’ I hear you cry )
Got a lift to work so no parking to be paid
Packed lunch – cottage cheese w/ crackers, dried fruit, crisps from multipack (85p for 6 rather than 50p for 1 at my work :cool:)
Pancakes tonight :T A nice ‘use up’ tea – some savoury then lots sweet
Updating YNAB – need to update for mine and OH’s inflows (:D) and extra expenses () – GC went out the window this week with store cupboard and cleaning stuff (and see below ) – but now that is out of the way I’m feeling positive about the rest of the month. Guess I need to build that into the budget better... :think:
Tidying round this evening – the never-ending task it seems!
Got OH’s bday pressie – worth £70; got it for £32.50 so happy about that one.

I’m purposely not giving myself too much as a ‘to do’ list for this evening as for the past few nights I’ve done nothing (except teaching so trying not to be too harsh on myself...) but tonight I think I need to get an early night... Pre midnight would be a bonus!! zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Ladies (foxgloves especially because she loves hearing about money-wasting gadgets...) my spending impulse got the better of me last night in the homeware aisle... I reigned it in/let it out by splurging 50p of my hard-earned cash on a.....garlic peeler.... :rotfl: What the h3ll?! That could’ve been my PAD to cc but instead I have a silicone garlic peeler to show for it. Mind you, it could’ve been worse – I was eyeing up ceramic lemon juicers, Tupperware, food flasks and candles... :rotfl:

I know. I feel like it's one thing after another right now! What will today bring!!! I have emailed the environmental health department and will just do everything official.

Baileys_Babe

Ally thank you for starting us off today.

Today I plan to:
NSD
Post on this thread for support, motivation and inspiration
Open curtains fully
Close curtains before it gets dark
Turn off lights and appliances not in use
reusable sanitary ware
Stick to meal plan - lots of differnet types of pancakes
B/L/D from stores
make bread for tomorrows group
Renew library books
Reserve library books
Check and reconcile bank accounts
PAD into saving £3.66 -1p
Soak porridge overnight
Set DW to run overnight
Set WM to run overnight
Unpack bags, so we don't lose anything or food go off
Make packed tea for us to eat whilst at our evening activities
Check FPL
HWB for children’s beds instead of heating, water heated on stove
Educate children for free, plus evening activity that we pay 4 times a year to get a discount
Entertain children and us for free
Walk everywhere
Cut open ds old oilatum (cream for his eczema) and decant into pot for us to be able to take out and about
Dry washing on airier
Keep heating to a minimum, we have jumpers and blankets
Light the stove, burning free wood
put kettle on stove for free hot water, put water in flasks if boiled before ready to use and refill kettle, water used for making hot drinks (we drink plenty of these, cooking rice, pasta etc, washing up et)
Cull 100 emails
10 minutes shredding

Bobarella

Make the change - I entirely sympathise. About 4 years ago I sold our home at a loss because of the neighbour. Much of the issues you describe were the same for us. We only had 1 toddler but she would beat on the wall of the kitchen when we were in there with what sounded like a lump hammer. She was in the flat next door to our house in the ground floor so we didn't live on top of her.

She had intimidated her own upstairs neighbour for 18 years. I won't lie to you it was not an easy journey but I began an anti social behaviour log via the council because she was a council tenant. I kept everything in there. In the 2 years I kept the diary we had police involvement twice. She came to our door and threatened us out there. She also opened her door when we were leaving for nursery one morning and told us she would kill us. The police were useless to be honest. I was promised she'd be arrested if she ever did it again after the first incident. Surprise surprise she wasn't the second time.
I made myself the most annoying pushy person on the antisocial behaviour teams job list. I was on them constantly.

When I tried to sell to escape her she tried to ruin viewings. She'd pop out and say things which the estate agent witnessed. Long story short we went to court via the council so no cost to me. Sadly the upstairs neighbour wouldn't testify after saying she would. But her transcript was heard in court. That was enough to get a restraining order. It is called something different but that's what it is. She could no longer have anything to do with us or anyone who bought our house. That agreement was enough to convince our buyer to go through with it and we sold. I know that he has still had trouble with her. But as he wants to sell he is staying quiet and I doubt will tell the new owners. I couldn't do that to anyone.

My advice is to keep a note of absolutely everything. Be strong. Be prepared for a long haul. And don't accept that this is your fault. I tried everything to be nice to my neighbor but she was like a red ant. Running out stinging everyone in site before she could determine who she was actually angry with. Good luck.

determined_new_ms

Afternoon everyone :wave:thanks for starting the thread ally :A

Well it's been a productive day for me so far

* spent a couple of hours doing job searching and have found a couple I will apply for
* agreed to take part in a research project - hopefully they will come back and confirm & that will be £30 towards this month's shortfall
* called up alleged (not so alleged anymore!) BB supplier and because this fiasco has been going on for so long they have offered me £20 to apologise but the offer is no longer available. This will go to our overpayment pot. Taking it to £64 and the monthly target is £80 :T


To do:
* [STRIKE]flaylady bathroom & possibly bedroom - on top of bedroom so should be quick [/STRIKE]
* [STRIKE]possibly NSD but I might walk down to coop for strawberry's and cream for pancakes tonight (might not as might do lemon & sugar with icecream)[/STRIKE]
* if I walk down to the shops I'll pay wages into bank decided against buying anything and just using what we have
* all meals from stores - excluding the above if I go
*[STRIKE] bath & read book in a minute[/STRIKE]
* search out BB supplier
* load of washing & hang up

That's my lot. Happy shrove Tuesday guys mmmmm

make_the_change

Bobarella wrote: »

Make the change - I entirely sympathise. About 4 years ago I sold our home at a loss because of the neighbour. Much of the issues you describe were the same for us. We only had 1 toddler but she would beat on the wall of the kitchen when we were in there with what sounded like a lump hammer. She was in the flat next door to our house in the ground floor so we didn't live on top of her.

She had intimidated her own upstairs neighbour for 18 years. I won't lie to you it was not an easy journey but I began an anti social behaviour log via the council because she was a council tenant. I kept everything in there. In the 2 years I kept the diary we had police involvement twice. She came to our door and threatened us out there. She also opened her door when we were leaving for nursery one morning and told us she would kill us. The police were useless to be honest. I was promised she'd be arrested if she ever did it again after the first incident. Surprise surprise she wasn't the second time.
I made myself the most annoying pushy person on the antisocial behaviour teams job list. I was on them constantly.

When I tried to sell to escape her she tried to ruin viewings. She'd pop out and say things which the estate agent witnessed. Long story short we went to court via the council so no cost to me. Sadly the upstairs neighbour wouldn't testify after saying she would. But her transcript was heard in court. That was enough to get a restraining order. It is called something different but that's what it is. She could no longer have anything to do with us or anyone who bought our house. That agreement was enough to convince our buyer to go through with it and we sold. I know that he has still had trouble with her. But as he wants to sell he is staying quiet and I doubt will tell the new owners. I couldn't do that to anyone.

My advice is to keep a note of absolutely everything. Be strong. Be prepared for a long haul. And don't accept that this is your fault. I tried everything to be nice to my neighbor but she was like a red ant. Running out stinging everyone in site before she could determine who she was actually angry with. Good luck.

Thank you. I will keep a log. It's so difficult as the mum has befriended some other mums at the school so it's like a gang of petty school girls when I need to collect my children.

Kittenkirst

Eeeeeeesh that doesn't sound pleasant Make The Change, just keep your head held high. I'm sure the other school mums will soon realise how she is!

My small things today are
B/L/D from stores as working from home
Updated spreadsheets and posted out eBay stuff (4 items posted, 1 collected by buyer!)
Silver class tonight- will leave early and have a cuppa with my friend I give a lift to- it's a little out of my way (adds four miles total to journey) but I don't mind - little social interaction is always good :-)
Will take pop from multipack to class to avoid buying from coop!
So aiming for NSD!

Edited to add: did the free postcode lottery again today- will try and keep up to date with it! And registered for pinecone research yesterday and got accepted email through so will see whether they yield anything! It all counts right :-)

Now back to work for the next few hours then silver class which I'm really looking forward to!
Enjoy the rest of your day everyone! X