Is this sexual harassment?

Guest101

Andypandyboy wrote: »

If I were in HR I would ask myself what she has to gain? You have shown it to be nothing, she has no empoyment protection, he on the other hand, does.

You are right it could go either way, but she cannot let that affect her decision to stop this chap in his tracks.

They both behaved stupidly, but he has taken it to another level, as someone said, technically it was a sexual assault.

Yes and technically if you touch someone it's assault. So next time you bump into someone because you're not looking, should they call the old bill?


His argument: She's a naïve 23 yr old, infatuated by an older man in a senior position. Hoping that by hook or by crook she a: gets her man or b: gets progression.

eamon

Unfriend the older man asap. Infact unfriend all your work colleagues. They are your work colleagues nothing else. Work functions and alcohol should come with all kinds of warnings. Consider it a nice bonus if you do find colleagues that you would socialise with outside work.
As with other posters don't report it is unlikely that you will get support from your employer. If you do encounter the older man again I would suggest that you don't mention the topic/issue ever again and consider it a valuable lesson learned. Be more careful and cautious in the future and you will get by fine.
However on rethinking this perhaps more did go on/happen than just a kiss? Is that employer really the right place for you? You have real hard thinking to do and I dont envy your position.

ohreally

eamon wrote: »

Unfriend the older man asap. Infact unfriend all your work colleagues.

This ^^^.


In future, keep your wits about you. The manager is out of order and deserves a reminder of what's acceptable and what's not in the workplace (he's a sleazy runt).

Perhaps your boyfriend can arrange to bump into him away from work!

xapprenticex

Kynthia wrote: »

You were a little naive but at 23 .

twas waiting for someone to come along with the ''you're only [enter age]'' chestnut. guess 23 year olds dont know getting drunk with colleagues and flirting/kissing some married guy while married yourself leads to trouble.

RachRubyD

Would I say it was sexual harassment not really no.. However it could quickly lead to this. Break contact (you said he isn't your manager so there is no reason to speak or have contact with him unless its for professional reasons.)

If he approaches you again say you would like to keep things professionally only and leave it at that (he will get the message without having to say anything else) perhaps have a witness with you as well. If he wants to speak to you make sure you always have someone else around you to witness it (am saying this because it will always be your word against his and companies tend to go in Managers favor without clear evidence and I've been in a very similar situation). If he continues once you have asked him not to approach you unless for a professional reason then you have some grounds for harassment.

I have been through a similar ordeal and like you was 23 and my manager was an older taken man (I didn't flirt however and he never tried to kiss me (because I would knock his block off haha) but recieved sexual harassment and bullying in other ways due to not appreciating his flirty nature and extreme jealousy of my friendship with other male colleagues (I was and still am in a relationship at the time). I plucked up the courage to see my HR and they basically brushed it under the carpet but where worried. I know if it had been a normal member of staff rather than a manager things would be different. Of course he tried to weasel out (thank god I had more mature older staff looking out for me). In the end I just left the job for another one as it was a living nightmare. Wish I would of taken it further but in the end I was just happy to forget about it and move on.

I probably get shouted down for this but to many times have I seen older male's in manager roles abusing their positions to prey on younger female staff members (especially with zero hour contracts, there was a case in the news not long ago where a young woman was sexually harassed by her manager as if she didn't go along with it he wouldn't give her any work and because she was on a zero hour contract he didn't need to). Just be assertive make sure he knows there is nothing between you and never will be. Trust me if you start having witnesses around when he speaks to you he quickly leave you alone.

The best thing I did was confide in my close friends at work (more mature woman) and it wasn't until then and how they reacted I realised how wrong it all was and was so grateful for their support.

Don't ever feel scared to speak up because you might lose your job. Tell your actual manager to have a word would even be a good idea. You don't have to go into detail just say you feel that flirty behaviour has got out of hand and you feel uncomfortable now and wish to just remain professional. No one should ever make you feel uncomfortable or do anything you don't want to do. Hold your head up high and move on.

Good luck x