Sick with worry

jazza6

Hi Nargleblast....he has asked me outright if I had any debt and I simply lied to his face. I'll have a look for Sazzie's post. I'm actually feeling worse as time goes on. Thanks for advice.

jazza6

Hi Moneycan'tbuy....oh I'm so frightened I can tell you. I'm going to gather everything together this week and gauge when is best time to broach this.

Jon_B_2

Has your husband benefitted in anyway from your exuberant spending? Be it - food, clothes, holidays etc?

If so, you need to find a way to explain that your joint lifestyle is partly the reason that YOU are in this mess. If your husband has desires for you to save and not be in debt - he would also need to understand that you could not live like you currently do.

fatbelly

sourcrates wrote: »

As you are not technically a home owner, you have two realistic options for dealing with this, they are :

Bankruptcy, (not that scary these days) or Debt relief order.

If you're in Scotland, the equivalents are

Bankruptcy or MAP (minimal asset process) Bankruptcy

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/S/factsheets/Pages/Bankruptcy/sequestration.aspx

rules are a bit different though.

sourcrates

fatbelly wrote: »

If you're in Scotland, the equivalents are

Bankruptcy or MAP (minimal asset process) Bankruptcy

https://www.nationaldebtline.org/S/factsheets/Pages/Bankruptcy/sequestration.aspx

rules are a bit different though.

Aye, just read previous posts !!!

jazza6

Malcnascar - I do not currently have a Protected Trust Deed - this finished years ago and the Trustees sent me a letter to confirm. I was also advised that I could indeed get credit - the 6 years came off my credit file many years ago.

BP1ME

How are you Jazza6?
Are you starting to feel better that you're going to sort things out?

Let us know how it's going.x

another_casualty

I know this may sound a bit bizarre , but regarding your job .
If you like it ,have been there a long time and like it , then I say do not tell you want to stay there over 65.
I find if you volunteer for extra work , or tell them you want to stay on , the job may not be as enjoyable as it is now .
If you're still there and coming up to 65, the company will ask you then .
Do not show signs of you being in financial hardship .people can be difficult in the work place , at the wrong times . Only IMHO .

Hope things improve .

Wingco44

Hi Jazz
Sorry, but I disagree with a lot of the advice on here. Your husband doesn't sound like the type of guy that is going to forgive you a second time around. The family home, in his name is your secure future in retirement - you can't replace that. You need to stay with him for now.
Please don't panic. I've had massively more debt than you but managed to get a Debt Management Plan (try Stepchange first as it is free). As soon as it started all my worries, stress and fears disappeared. I had my first quality night's sleep the following day and I understand I look 10 years younger.
Put into context, £20,000 could be paid off at £1000 pa in 20 years and you would be a worry free 85 yr old. Doing nothing is not an option.
Contact your credit card companies and be totally honest, including your other credit card debts/loans, and make them a very small monthly offer - a friend of mine with £8000 card debt offered £10 per month - it wasn't accepted but she just kept paying £10 and that was 4-5 years ago. The interest was also frozen immediately by the credit card company. I had 6 credit cards and all accept less than £15 per month on loans of £3,000 to £20,000 and I pay no interest - it's easy. The Debt Management Plan pays the creditors and I just pay a monthly amount to cover the revised repayments. It will be a very small fraction of what you pay now.
Seeing the GP is unlikely to help; GPs are not trained in Debt Management or addiction, believe it or not. I have worked in addiction for 16 years and my staff regularly hear of incredibly poor and often dangerous advice from GPs. You may be lucky, but don't hold out great hopes and avoid antidepressants or sleeping pills; they are also addictive! Prescribed medications are often harder to withdraw from than illegal drugs. Addiction is an extremely complex and difficult problem to overcome. Support groups for all kinds of addictions exist in most towns - simply Google "Debt Counselling Support Group - Oxford" or wherever you live. The advice and support you will get will far exceed most GPs' advice, but you may have the one GP who is an addiction specialist. They are, however, as rare as rocking horse feathers.
Start writing today. Also post one item a day on Ebay. Go to car boot sales and find bargains you can sell on Ebay - thousands of people do just that and make substantial money in the process. But don't spend more than £10 per boot sale only out of spare earned money. Tell your husband of your Ebay successes - keep any failures to yourself.
Look forward not back.
Best advice I was given by a counsellor was "Don't look down". It worked for me.

Wingco44

Jazz
I note someone on here said a DMP is not for you due to your age. I started mine at 67 and in retirement. The DMP company take that into consideration when they assess your situation. Yes, it would take a long time to clear the debt but the DM company will attempt 'full and final' payments after 3-4 years and will likely slash the debt possibly by 50%. If they don't, don't worry keep paying the relatively low monthly payment.
I'm not convinced you would qualify for some of the other debt solutions, and IVAs and Bankruptcy are not things you should enter into lightly or without your husband's knowledge - and for that reason alone, I don't think you can tell him without a major bust up.
I'm not suggesting dishonesty but if you can sort it out yourself first, telling him some months downstream will be so much easier. Don't give him the problem, show him the solution.
Don't look down!