Getting Property Back

NikNox

Hi all,

Brief history - my 17 yr old stepdaughter left her alcoholic mother in 2011 to live with us. She left all of her possessions, clothing etc., when she left (her leaving was dramatic). Clothing etc didn't really matter as we bought her new stuff, but she left behind some items of jewellery that had been given to her by my husbands family - a gold locket, a diamond bracelet & my mother-in-laws engagement ring. My stepdaughter does not see or speak to her mother, and we have asked her mother to send these items on numerous occasions. She has ignored every request. Last week my husband text her, again, to ask for these items to be returned, and said that if she has sold or lost them (she's sold other items of value belonging to my stepdaughter when she was living there) to be honest about it. This angered her and for the first time he received a response! She said how dare he suggest that she'd sold them, and said "they will be passed to her when the time is right". On asking what the "right time" was, she replied that it was a time of her choosing. It has been pointed out that these items are not hers to keep, we have offered to go & collect them, to send an SAE and asked if she could take them to a third party for us to collect - all to no avail.

Do we have any legal standing on this?

meritaten

I think so - I think you could try asking at the small claims court for the items to be returned or their value in cash. They are the property of the daughter and her mother has no right to withhold them.
If I am right and you can take action through small claims then perhaps just receiving a letter from the court may prompt her to return them.
There is a cost to this - but I am not sure how much these days. you will probably find advice online too.

NikNox

Thanks, we are wondering about sending a typed letter, recorded delivery, to warn her that if the jewellery isn't returned within a couple of weeks then further action will be taken. We are not dealing with a normal person here!! Would she be liable for any costs?

RAS

Do not send any letter recored delivery; she will almost certainly recline to sign for it.

Send two copies first class post, from different post offices with free certificates of posting. The courts assume that one of these will get through, even if both do not, two days after posting.

Might be much better of DSD writes the letter as she is the one mum is taking the goods from.

swingaloo

Is there no chance her dad could take her to pick them up?

duchy

In this situation I'd involve the police- you have her texts proving she has the items and is deliberately witholding them. My only question would be who has legal custody of the child - as she is 17 if her mother may have some kind of a right as a parent to hold them -once she turns 18 though she won't.

Intention to deprive is theft - and I'd take that view - and act before she does sell them (if she hasn't already)

NikNox

Would the Police be interested? I thought they would view it as a civil matter. We have full residence of my stepdaughter, gained a month after she moved in with us. Her mother does still have parental responsibility, but that doesn't give her any legal rights to keep belongings.

NikNox

swingaloo wrote: »

Is there no chance her dad could take her to pick them up?

She doesn't want to see her mum, speak to her or contact her in any way, shape or form. Sadly her mental health isn't good because of her chaotic childhood 😕

atrixblue.-MFR-.

It's not a police matter really, Civil matter is what police would say.


Your step daughter has technically abandoned the items when she left, and technically its NOT for her mum to "send them back" more so its daughters responsibility to go collect them or arrange for collection in person, or turn up with police if there will be "drama" to collect them.


The mums only Obligation here as far as I can see it in legislation is that she has a legal duty to take care of them and to ensure they are kept safe.
By sending them in post or releasing them to third party is a defence argument of NOT keeping to her obligations and can enforce your daughter turn up in person to collect to ensure safe transfer of custody of the items.


If the items are no longer in her possession (IE lost or stolen) upon discovery your daughter needs to call police and report it ASAP. As a crime has been committed, Do not be accusing the mum of "selling" them as you have no evidence or testimony to that fact, a small claims court Could decide her negligence in not keeping them safe whilst in her possession don't forget based on "balance of probabilities".


My advice is to (if needs be arrange for police to be present) to go collect in person. Then sort things from there in regards to them being missing or potentially stolen!.

NikNox

I see what you're saying. Unfortunately when she left it was under dramatic, violent circumstances (she was 12 at the time), and the last thing on her mind was possessions. About a year later, we asked for the jewellery as we were concerned it would be sold as mums drinking had escalated, and she said my stepdaughter could go to collect. She lives about 20 miles away so of course we took my stepdaughter and waited on the road outside the house. She was handed a bag by her mother which we checked when we got home. The jewellery wasn't in there so my husband text to ask where it was. She said she'd forgotten to put it in!! Since then my stepdaughter has had no further contact, through her own choice. Her mother would not allow my husband to collect the jewellery, nor me. She hates both of us with a vengeance because she believes we took her daughter from her - such is the nature of an addict. So, it is a delicate situation, and is why we suggested the third party option.

My stepdaughter does have a younger half-sibling who lives with his dad but does have contact with mum. We could ask him to collect the jewellery & take it to his dad's for us to collect from there - he's still young though & that seems like a big responsibility. I also don't think she would agree ...

zarf2007

NikNox wrote: »

I see what you're saying. Unfortunately when she left it was under dramatic, violent circumstances (she was 12 at the time), and the last thing on her mind was possessions. About a year later, we asked for the jewellery as we were concerned it would be sold as mums drinking had escalated, and she said my stepdaughter could go to collect. She lives about 20 miles away so of course we took my stepdaughter and waited on the road outside the house. She was handed a bag by her mother which we checked when we got home. The jewellery wasn't in there so my husband text to ask where it was. She said she'd forgotten to put it in!! Since then my stepdaughter has had no further contact, through her own choice. Her mother would not allow my husband to collect the jewellery, nor me. She hates both of us with a vengeance because she believes we took her daughter from her - such is the nature of an addict. So, it is a delicate situation, and is why we suggested the third party option.

My stepdaughter does have a younger half-sibling who lives with his dad but does have contact with mum. We could ask him to collect the jewellery & take it to his dad's for us to collect from there - he's still young though & that seems like a big responsibility. I also don't think she would agree ...

While it is unfortunate I really think your step daughter needs to 'man up' here and go with her father to collect the items. She may not want to see her mother again but in this case its either that or they are lost forever (if not already).

I think if they went this time and then checked any bag given to her immediately to confirm the items are there, and if not they should get the police involved.

while it may not be nice for her to do this we all have to do things in life that are uncomfortable for us but hiding away is not going to help the situation. She should offer to help anyway as you have been good enough to give her a stable upbringing and take her in its the least she can do in my opinion.