House Buying Regret

Kynthia

I'd say virtually every property the day you move into it seems cold, shabby and unfamiliar. Plus the first few months are filled with unpacking, not having the right furniture for the space, constantly seeing things that need doing and generally feeling overwhelmed.

It does get better. The place stops feeling cold and unfamiliar, you start to get things done and make it yours, and soon it feels like home. Make a list of what needs doing and buying, group them together by tradesperson and shop, then get the tradespeople in and go to those shops. I also made a list of 'quick wins' which were easy and quick things that would shorten my to do this and improve the place as soon as possible.

nubbins

Stop moaning and be thankful you have a roof over you head. Move if you don't like the situation

AnotherJoe

I'd say you are being more than silly, It's all part and parcel of owning a home stuff breaks there isnt a landlord there to fix it for you.
What you've mentioned is a list of mostly utterly trivial things fixable for a little time and effort and money.
Grow up and get these things fixed it's your responsibility so take some.
For example ,"the draughts are maddening" for goodness sake that's your decision to live with them, get a workman in to fix the door, add some draught excluder which is a five minute job rather than pathetically bleating about it.
Same for the other things.
Look at the utterly dire straits some live in and count your blessings.

densol_2

I've just employed a regular handyman. He charges £25 an hour and gets loads done ! It's such a relief seeing bits and bobs get done every week. Try " Mybuilder " website. That's where I got mine from.

Irratus_Rusticus

Iamred wrote: »

Hi,
Last year me and my husband bought our first home... and now I hate it. ...

We went through a lot of emotional turmoil in the purchasing process including arguments with in-laws, delays, mortgage companies arguing with our legal team and more.

Its small, dark and creaky.

I hate it and I want to leave.

You are suffering from exhaustion after a stressful time. Be positive. Imagine it was your other half who was small dark and creaky instead of the house? Trust your judgement.

Not always a blessing to have a demon with jigsaw and drill in your life either. As long as he's house-trained and doesn't dribble, you can at least fix up the new house.

Put your stamp on the place, sort out the snags, have a holiday and you'll probably look back and smile.

Unless he is small, dark and creaky?

Davesnave

Small, dark,creaky person here....:o

I'm going to take a different line on this one, because I knew a couple who had problems with houses, which led to them owning more propeties in a lifetime than most of us. IMO they were just displacing the problems they had with their relationship and very effectively dumping it on whatever place they happened to buy next.

Couples who have a good relationship can come through just about anything: they can buy a tip of a place which leaks, creaks and freezes them half to death..... and still laugh about it. What's more, if they have made a blunder, and it's not just early days in the house/person bonding process, they can act together to plan the next move constructively, rather than just fill their lives with negativity.

The couple I'm thinking of just kept moving, never apparently noticing that it cost an arm and a leg to do this. They had everything: maisonettes, bungalows, rambling Georgian wrecks and country cottages with land, but wherever they were, there was always something wrong. Not that surprising to the rest of us, who realise and accept that there always is.

Now, I don't know you, and I'm certainly not saying that you are like this couple, who eventually ran out of money and interest in massive DIY projects, to live, reasonably content, in a very average semi-dee. However, it's worth two minutes of your time to consider whether you might become like them.

Useless at DIY or not, I'd sit down with your OH, and as others have suggested, work out a simple plan to address these issues. Assume from the start that you'll be staying in the house for at least 3 - 5 years and making some friends in the local area, who'll share in your trials & tribulations, recount theirs, and maybe, even lend a hand sorting stuff out at weekends.

The house might not be brilliant, but the area will surely have some potential for new friendships and experiences. Take some time out now to explore it together and don't spend all your time worrying about the property (but get the roof fixed as a first priority. )

Tygermoth

This is my worry. As a long term renter i have looked longingly forward to the day when i own my own home.

I think i have unrealistic expectations and when i get the keys (the house is going to be a new build) so i am hoping it will be like a disney scene and birds will open the front door, baby deer will show us around and chipmunks will make us tea when we arrive to greet us in our new home while the rest of the woodland animals unload the moving van.

whereas i think the reality is after the stress it will be a case of getting through the front door, collapsing to the floor wailing 'what have we done' and crying for a week.

Then spending the next few years worrying about our mortgage and if we bought at the wrong time..

DaftyDuck

Tygermoth wrote: »

......

I think i have unrealistic expectations and when i get the keys (the house is going to be a new build) so i am hoping it will be like a disney scene and birds will open the front door, baby deer will show us around and chipmunks will make us tea when we arrive to greet us in our new home while the rest of the woodland animals unload the moving van.
......

Give the OP back those attic-grown plants she mentioned!

It'll be OK for you too. If not, just come back on the forum for some tea and sympathy.

dc197

Don't be disheartened. A big part of owning a home is fixing stuff, and fixing it yourself. All the problems you list are repairable, and may can be done yourself.
Try not to feel regret. Instead make the best of what you have. Turn the old crappy house into a beautiful home and you will feel so proud.

Rain_Shadow

AnotherJoe wrote: »

I'd say you are being more than silly, It's all part and parcel of owning a home stuff breaks there isnt a landlord there to fix it for you.
What you've mentioned is a list of mostly utterly trivial things fixable for a little time and effort and money.
Grow up and get these things fixed it's your responsibility so take some.
For example ,"the draughts are maddening" for goodness sake that's your decision to live with them, get a workman in to fix the door, add some draught excluder which is a five minute job rather than pathetically bleating about it.
Same for the other things.
Look at the utterly dire straits some live in and count your blessings.

I wouldn't necessarily have put it quite so harshly but that is pretty much my thoughts too.


The difference between renting and owning is very much that the responsibility sits squarely with you.


Make a start on those, mostly pretty trivial but annoying, problems. Once you have solved one or two and you realise that you can get them sorted yourself your opinion of the house, and of yourself, will improve dramatically.


Good luck with it.