Reality Check...

Seasidegal58

reality_check wrote: »

I have set DS and DD a budget of £500 each for Christmas. First presents I got of perfume and trainers worked out about £75 each...do I take £75 from the budget or call it £100?! They know the value of things and don't know my budget/won't be counting it up, and they would just automatically assume I have paid full price, but not sure if I am cheating them by knocking them down £25 each?!

I don't think so in your particular circumstances. You're trying to get your debt down and you have bought them something they do want and appreciate. When your debt disappears then you can use any discounted balances for pressie cash as well!

roomontheend

Yeah, I totally agree with seaside.

I needed new shoes for work and when I say need it's not like a don't have enough shoes it's just I need comfort and height. The curse of the little person. Will I went to clarks but before hand I looked on their website and found three pairs that fitted the bill. But when I went in they only had them in different colours but not at the reduced price (£30 down from £60). So I asked and she said, "oh we just don't put them out because it's not sale time". It turned out they had all three pair that I was going to choose from, but because they were such a bargain I bought all three. I have justified this in my head with it saves my money in the long run and clarks don't always have a good selection of size 3's.

reality_check

You are both right, I am calling it £100 each. I have used my credit card for a few Christmas presents for my daughter, but this is all part of my plan/budget. Had to order a new card last week since I cut it up a few months ago.

ROTE good bargain with the shoes, and good job you asked. I am a size 4 and always think that's bad enough, but you must be worse!! Normally the sale items in shoes are all size 7's or 8's so I never get a good bargain.

Had a great weekend and didn't really spend a penny apart from shopping, but again budgetted for. My marine has moved back to Manchester and should be based there for the foresable future/ever!! So he was over on Friday night and met DS and DD - not planned, but that's that out the way. On Saturday my walking boots made their first trip out (they are the most ugly things you've ever saw!) and then had a night in with marine, my sister and her new bf with too much wine and chocolate and a chinese. My Dad's birthday was over the weekend too, so had everyone over for a roast yesterday, I bought a large chicken and it fed 6 adults and 2 kids I just used loads of potatoes and veg and massive yorkshire puddings, so I was impressed with myself as considered buying some ham too, glad I never. I also made a massive chocolate cake and used a can of coke as oppose to the usual water/oil/eggs and it was amazing, the best I have ever made, I really recommend it!

Hope you all had a good weekend, Monday is here again...........xx

AspiringButAnxious

I do the same with spending — sometimes I'm trying to save pennies wherever I can and then I splurge on something... Part of it's down to trying to make myself feel better. The trouble is, it works to a certain extent: I feel better in myself when I have nice clothes to wear and have furniture which isn't falling apart. And that's disregarding any "high" I get from spending. I think I'm getting better at weighing up whether buying something is worth adding it to my debt, but sometimes it gets on top of me and I panic.

I think being aware of what I'm spending is a key to keeping it under control: it's scary finding I have spent a few hundred pounds without realising. Far worse than spending a lot more on a considered purchase. Tracking spending can be tricky, but it works. When I know I will have to write down everything I buy, it makes me think harder about how much I want it. Plus I can use my records to pinpoint any patterns. Having said that, I'm inconsistent with tracking, as well as spending! I suppose as long as I keep trying to make improvements, I'm going in the right direction — even if it's slower than I'd hoped...

Fletchasketch

RC, I wish you the very best I really do, but it can't just be me who thinks £500 of Christmas presents per child is excessive? Growing up we never got more than £30 and now I'm in my thirties it's £100 from parents who are very well off. Obviously each to their own, perhaps I'm behind the times but that £500 made me gasp. On a positive note, congratulations on the excellent progress you've made this year

Seasidegal58

reality_check wrote: »

I am a size 4 and always think that's bad enough, but you must be worse!! Normally the sale items in shoes are all size 7's or 8's so I never get a good bargain. ..xx

I'll have to start buying my shoes where you shop! I can never find any size 8 bargains!

enthusiasticsaver

Fletchasketch wrote: »

RC, I wish you the very best I really do, but it can't just be me who thinks £500 of Christmas presents per child is excessive? Growing up we never got more than £30 and now I'm in my thirties it's £100 from parents who are very well off. Obviously each to their own, perhaps I'm behind the times but that £500 made me gasp. On a positive note, congratulations on the excellent progress you've made this year

Yes I have to say that made me gasp too. Our adult children usually get gifts of up to £200 for Christmas. I am not sure what the norm is.

reality_check

ABA that's like me, it's amazing how hundreds of pounds can vanish with nothing to show for it...of course it hasn't vanished, it's just so easy to not keep track and wonder where it went - probably why I am in such a mess. I didn't open bank/credit card statements for years, it wasn't that I was frightened to look, I genuinely didn't care. If only I could go back and give myself a slap around the face!

I would keep my eyes peeled for you Seaside, but I'm not an enabler.... saying that you're in a far better position than me to be buying new shoes!! So I'll keep my eyes peeled

I get that £500 is a lot of money, but honestly it gets you nothing these days. Long gone are the days I could get a lot for my money for £100 with bundles of toys. The trainers and perfume are an example of how £100 on one thing each goes just like that. I've probably help raise two little brats with expensive taste! £500 each will get them the above, probably £100 cash and maybe 3-4 other things each, so it's not that I am buying them loads, just what they want costs lots. I have spent loads more in the past, and that's not a good thing...next year I am going to budget and have a saved for Christmas!!

Best get to bed, goodnight xxx

Poor_Single_lady

Christmas can be very hard. Everyone does it differently. I think my parents adjust their budget each year depending on circumstances (even now).
We didn't get very much through the year but got quite a lot at christmas and less (but still quite a lot) on birthdays.

I do agree reality it is a different ever evolving world we are in and I think a tough place to be a teenager.

AspiringButAnxious

I have expensive taste too, rc, but my parents only spend £80 on me for Xmas (£25 for birthdays). I understand that they can't afford to spend loads and that it's not a reflection of how much they do ro don't love me. When I was a kid, they spent a lot less because times were harder and I knew that I couldn't expect to get a huge amount of stuff — and I also knew that I was (and still am) very lucky compared to a lot of people in this world.

While I have my own issues around money and maybe not being able to have as much as my friends when I was younger is a factor in my own overspending, my parents wouldn't have done me any favours by giving me more. Especially if it meant putting their finances under even more pressure. In fact, having to pay my own way through university and learning to drive (unlike certain spoilt extended family members...) has made me appreciate being able to do those things, instead of taking it for granted as some kind of right rather than a privilege. I wish my parents could have afforded more, but that's the point: I wish they could have afforded more, not that they had spent more despite having the same amount of money.

Putting your finances under pressure and causing yourself more stress does nobody any favours, including your family. I'm sure your kids would rather you spent less money and were happier for being less stressed; I know I would. In fact, I would be devastated if I knew someone was struggling to buy me gifts, because that's not what giving is about and there are other ways to show love and appreciation.