My ex wife has died, what happens with mortgage

gehngus_2

Hi.
This is a complicated one.

My main worry is that the former house could be sold without my consent?

My ex and i divorced some 6 years back and since then i have re-married and have a new family.

My ex carried on living in the former matrimonial home with my two children.

I assumed that this would be the case until the children grew up and flew the nest at which time the house would be sold or bought.

I still get regular statements and notice of interest changes, the mortgage is an interest free type where my ex's benefits paid the majority.

Due to years of battles over access the solicitors never got around to sorting the house details out so there has never been any changes to the deeds or mortgage etc and due to lack of finances i eventually threw the towel in.

I haven't had any contact with ex or children for some years, and have just found out that my ex has died (read it in the paper) and this has been confirmed.

My main concern is for the children of course, but the former matrimonial home will have to be dealt with at some stage.

I have no idea at all what to do or who im to speak to? communication with the ex-family is not an option. Going to the house is not an option. writing to that family is not an option.

do i ask at the bank?

Am i going to be asked to pay the mortgage?

If i am asked to pay. what if i cant afford to pay it?

could the undecided portion of the house be left to other members without my knowing?

my intension is to see that the children still have a roof over their heads and im trying to establish some kind of communications just to see that the csa payments get through or where to send money to, but im worried now that:

1. the mortgage wont be paid and the hose re-possessed.

2. the house might be sold without my knowledge

3. my name might be taken off the deeds?


any info would help at this time & solicitors take years to eventually not get an answer.

dunstonh

Am i going to be asked to pay the mortgage?

Yes if you "own" the mortgage. However, if the house is still in your name, you should be able to sell it. This is a discussion you need for a solicitor as there are complications that could arise.

You divorced but what happened withthe settlement? Why wasnt the house involved in that?

Due to years of battles over access the solicitors never got around to sorting the house details out so there has never been any changes to the deeds or mortgage etc and due to lack of finances i eventually threw the towel in.

I dont understand how the solicitors allowed that to happen. Who actually owns the property?

D_e_n_i_s_e

go to your local citizens advice bureau, they usually have a solicitor in one night a week who can help you / point you in the right direction for nowt!

terrierlady

i was divorced in the late 80s and i walked out with nothing my ex also kept the house because the kids lived there and didnt want to leave London so it was common for divorce to go ahead without settlement of the matrimonial home.
MAke sure you get some legal advise ASP one day im going to have to do the same

silvercar

It will depend on how you originally owned the home. If you were joint tenants then you now own the house. If you were tenants in common then you ex-wife could leave her half to whom she chooses. Without a will or new spouse it would go to the children.

The mortgage should be considered separately. If there was an endowment or life policy attached to it (in your ex-wife or joint names), then the mortgage should now be paid off. (Someone will need to dig out the policy and inform the lender and life company). If not then the lender will need to be informed and arrangements made to pay the mortgage or sell the house.

If you ex relied on benefits to pay the mortgage it may be that your children can now claim these benefits (depending on their age) and the mortgage payments continue.

gehngus_2

I think ill have to start by getting more info.

You divorced but what happened with the settlement?

nothing in the end. it was discussed between solicitors but she wanted all with bonuses whereas i wanted a percentage, but it never actually got to a stage where anything was settled.

I don't understand how the solicitors allowed that to happen.

erm. my ex died, i don't think that was part of the plan.

It will depend on how you originally owned the home.

It was in joint names, that was my decision as i was the only earner. As to what type. No idea. I think i need to get a copy of the original mortgage to find out.
do i get this from the bank? or can i just ask them what type it is?

its with Barclays. taken out 10 years ago. is that the woolwich now?

If there was an endowment or life policy attached to it

highly unlikely (unless it was built in? or a condition from the lender).

it may be that your children can now claim these benefits

the children are 12 & 9 years old.

i've phoned the bank to make an appointment with the mortgage guy (he's on holiday this week).

angie_baby

gehngus wrote: »

My main worry is that the former house could be sold without my consent?


I haven't had any contact with ex or children for some years, and have just found out that my ex has died (read it in the paper) and this has been confirmed.

My main concern is for the children of course, but the former matrimonial home will have to be dealt with at some stage.

Maybe i am being harsh but your main worries seem to conflict here. You havent even seen your children (and i do not know why, so wont really comment on that) for years but yet your worried about the house? You NEED to speak to the ex family to see how your kids are - Just think, they lost there dad a couple of years ago and now there mum.

Worry about the children first.

I hope it all works out for you.

dunstonh

erm. my ex died, i don't think that was part of the plan.

"Normally" things like this are settled as part of the divorce. You said you were divorced so not having a major asset like the property sorted is unusual.

It was in joint names, that was my decision as i was the only earner. As to what type. No idea. I think i need to get a copy of the original mortgage to find out.
do i get this from the bank? or can i just ask them what type it is?

Was it in joint names or tenants in common? This is a key point as this will decide whether you own 100% or 50% with the children owning the other 50% (or if a will existed, perhaps her parents). The bank will have a copy of the documents that show this.

highly unlikely (unless it was built in? or a condition from the lender).

You would know what direct debits you pay or not.

i've phoned the bank to make an appointment with the mortgage guy

Get copies of any documents he is able to supply. You may need these to give to a solicitor shortly.

silvercar

In my earlier posting I assumed, incorrectly, that your children were older. Comments about them inheriting and claiming any benefits to pay the mortgage may not be applicable.

Presumably they now need a home with an adult.

Best of luck in dealing with all this.

gehngus_2

angie_baby wrote: »

Maybe i am being harsh but your main worries seem to conflict here. You havent even seen your children (and i do not know why, so wont really comment on that) for years but yet your worried about the house? You NEED to speak to the ex family to see how your kids are - Just think, they lost there dad a couple of years ago and now there mum.

Not harsh at all, and your quite right. this is already being dealt with and court applications have been made. you dont know what happened, and i wont say, but im big enough to admit to being at fault for the break up. i did hurt my ex emotionally and for that im very sorry. but the children shouldn't be punished for my actions.


I didn't think to ask about the house while i was at the solicitors, it was weeks ago.

Sometimes, win or lose, the spouse will not open the door or will always find ways around access & contact.
This leads to more & more court visits, more bills and months go by which in turn become years. During this time the children adjust (or are adjusted) i believe its called alienation syndrome. one day you get a letter that your missed, the next day your not wanted. the next day none of your family are wanted. and eventually all communication is lost.
You try, try & try for the sake of the kids and then run out of money and run up a £9000 credit card bill.
legal aid is denied because you have an interest in the house that your children live in (which you cant & wont borrow against).

then you go to court without legal representation, like a duck out of water and the ex's barrister makes mince meat of you.

and then you realize that your new family is losing out, your ill with the frustration, you cant afford wall paper for the new babys room and everything seems hopeless.

Then you write the letter explaining why you are giving up and every single day that follows you feel that you have betrayed them, you never stop grieving, the hole, the love, the pain, it doesnt go away. you dream that your with them and your heart breaks the moment you wake up, eyes streaming you get up and go hold your new son.

this is simplified, there is no way to explain the hate, malice & bitterness that comes at you after a break up, but i know thousands are in the same boat and know exactly how this goes.

1st priority was the children, but my ex died 4 weeks ago and i have to address this at some point.

thanks for all your help. I don't think there is anything else i need,

please don't try to point out all the obvious points about access and fathers/sibling/grandparents rights etc, I've had years of learning and im about to throw myself back into the lions den.

silvercar

I know you are searching for advice on the status of the home but if I can offer a piece of practical advice I heard recently on the radio.

Every letter you write to the children (even the ones you don't post), keep a copy in a box. When the children do make contact (and they will, even if it is in 15 years time) you can show them the efforts you made to keep in touch - even if every letter between now and then is returned unopened or doesn't even reach them.