Should I pay for guest's meal out?

Noctu

Hello all,

I'd appreciate some advice on this situation as I'm not sure what to do/offer!

I met someone at a work related residential conference a few years ago. (Completely platonic - I'm female and he's male, with a male partner). He'd travelled to the UK from Australia to attend the conference. We had a good laugh together and kept in touch very sporadically on Facebook since.

I received a message from him asking if I'm around on a certain date next month, and explaining that he is doing a UK road trip with his partner. I said that I was, and subsequently he has booked a hotel in my town as one of his stops on the road trip. We have decided to go for dinner and drinks - obviously he doesn't know my home town so I'll take them out (hubby will be joining us too).

The question is... Should I pay for the meal for him and his partner?? It would be a bit of a financial stretch for me to do so, but I don't want to be rude if that's what I should expect to do... Not sure I should be doing it as 'my guests' - even though I didn't invite them (!).

Thoughts gratefully received...

ahja

I would contact him to suggest different venues with approx costs to him so that he can take his pick, say Italian or Greek for instance, which gives him choice and the tacit understanding that he will be paying his share, nothing wrong with him doing that and it clears up any misunderstanding about who pays.

Georgiegirl256

No, everyone should pay for their own meals IMO.

whitewing

I would ensure that I had enough available to pay for the whole night for everyone but I would imagine that they would contribute half the costs in some form or other.

fairy_lights

No I wouldn't pay for him, and I doubt he would expect you to either. If he's staying in a hotel somewhere anyway he would need to pay for an evening meal whether with you or separately, so it's not like it's an additional cost.

tea_lover

If anything, they may offer to pay for you and your husband. Most likely is each couple pays for their own.

[Deleted User]

You could let them buy their own meals, but buy a bottle of wine for the table?

Jagraf

tea_lover wrote: »

If anything, they may offer to pay for you and your husband. Most likely is each couple pays for their own.

That's what I thought

missbiggles1

If you'd invited them to come out for a meal as your guests then yes, but this sounds as if you've all decided to go for a meal together so no. The fact that you're on your own turf doesn't make you the host.

Jagraf

Noctu wrote: »

Hello all,

I'd appreciate some advice on this situation as I'm not sure what to do/offer!

I met someone at a work related residential conference a few years ago. (Completely platonic - I'm female and he's male, with a male partner). He'd travelled to the UK from Australia to attend the conference. We had a good laugh together and kept in touch very sporadically on Facebook since.

I received a message from him asking if I'm around on a certain date next month, and explaining that he is doing a UK road trip with his partner. I said that I was, and subsequently he has booked a hotel in my town as one of his stops on the road trip. We have decided to go for dinner and drinks - obviously he doesn't know my home town so I'll take them out (hubby will be joining us too).

The question is... Should I pay for the meal for him and his partner?? It would be a bit of a financial stretch for me to do so, but I don't want to be rude if that's what I should expect to do... Not sure I should be doing it as 'my guests' - even though I didn't invite them (!).

Thoughts gratefully received...

In effect they've invited you. Just because he is in the UK doesnt mean you become the host (you're not the PM or queen lol :)) x

Kim_kim

I think if you had invited them then you should, but you didn't, they invited themselves.
I'm sure they don't expect you to.