Should I pay for guest's meal out?

Jagraf

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If you'd invited them to come out for a meal as your guests then yes, but this sounds as if you've all decided to go for a meal together so no. The fact that you're on your own turf doesn't make you the host.

Great minds think alike

fairy_lights

Jagraf wrote: »

In effect they've invited you. Just because he is in the UK doesnt mean you become the host (you're not the PM or queen lol :)) x

Well I don't know, OP hasn't explicitly stated that she's not The Queen. The work colleague could be the President of Sudan or the Venezuelan ambassador, in which case who should pay would be a matter of international diplomacy.

JasX

Split the bill with each couple paying for themselves. Probably better doing this even if the visiting couple offer to pay (no overhanging obligations on either side to worry about for next time)

Also in your favor you'll probably find a male + male partner couple is more used to restaurant bill splitting rather than one party having obligations to pay for another anyway..... and will be very comfortable with that

967stuart

Make him pay for yours!
Just run away after dinner is your best option.

Pollycat

In the circumstances you describe, I wouldn't even say that he is your guest - he's just visiting the country you live in, not even staying with you - so if I were him I wouldn't expect you to pay for the meal.

If it would make you feel more comfortable, I'd get in touch before the date and confirm the financial arrangements to avoid any awkwardness on the evening.

TBagpuss

You say "we've decided to go for dinner and drinks" - what was said when this was being decided? I agree that on the face of it, a mututal agreement to meet up and get a meal would normally be on the basis that each person (or couple) pays their own way.

I think the only time you might be expected to pay would be if you had initially invited them to your home, and then changed the venue, in which case it would be your invitation.

However, as this is a friend, and as you are worried, why not just say to them something along the lines of " I've suggested x place because [whatever reason] - here's a link to their webpage which includes prices. I don't know what your budget is, I suggested this place assuming we'd each be payng out own way, so if this doesn't fit your budget let me know and I can suggest somewhere else - this is somewhere OH and I go when we want to treat ourselves"

troubleinparadise

My experience when I lived in Australia for 6 months was that people tended very much to pay their own way.

Even if you invited friends round for a "barbie" at your house, guests brought their own beer, and meat to cook - quite different to the way I was used to back here in England where the host tends to provide most of the food & drink. Taking just a bottle of wine would have been viewed as mean!

I'd suspect that they don't expect you to pay, and the fact that they've booked a hotel room and don't expect you to put them up probably echoes that.

PasturesNew

They aren't your guests. Pay 1/3rd, or your part of the bill.

They "owe you" the payment really as they backed you into a corner

Noctu

Thanks very much everyone for your replies. I feel reassured now - my gut feeling was just to split the bill but wanted to be sure that this wasn't rude!

I'll be taking the advice of posters who suggested messaging him beforehand with a list of restaurants and vague idea of prices - that also means that I don't take him somewhere he'd hate but wouldn't want to say anything...

getmore4less

If we visit people on travels and they go out of their way like act as guide for the day or use their car for going out we usually pay and visitors to us usually offer as well. These tend to be more than one offs though as we tend to see the people again sometimes its years between sometimes less