Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask the guest to replace my broken furniture?

meknowalot-51

A small gathering?house?flat?Clearly you had provided enough chairs for all to use then your invited guest took it upon themselves to bring a complete stranger into your home.As you didn't say to your guest that the uninvited should leave straight away it can only be assumed that you had accepted him.A small gathering,so you must have witnessed it unless it's a mansion.No one offered to pay,so this guest is someone to cross off the social list and the fact they didn't offer tells you enough about them.Make sure you let all the others know about the financial loss and hopefully they could shame them into paying.House insurance?I would say that the guest should be held responsible for the damage as they arrived with the stranger.Risky thing having people around for a drink or two,could end up costing more than you think.

Cimscate

This is tricky for more than 1 reason. If you decide to ask him/her for money then he may decide that he injured himself in your home for which you may be liable.


If they didn't have the decency to offer to repair then I think you just have to put it down to experience and learn the lesson to remove things that may get damaged. Perhaps use the National Trust trick of putting something spiky on things not to be sat on!


To all those who say you should have enough chairs I think that's a bit unreasonable, I often have parties and no way are there enough seats for everybody! Do we really furnish our homes for the number of visitors we are likely to have - I don't think so!

hazyjo

Did you see where they were sitting? Did you tell them to get off it? If not, no, you only have yourself to blame.


You can't really expect old to be replaced with new either. Unless it was an antique, it's doubtful whatever it was would be worth much second hand - that's the price you should get. Same as if you sell a house - the furniture you might sell on to the new owner can only be valued at the second hand price. Can't see why it'd be different in this scenario. Its value won't have increased just because someone broke it rather than bought it!


And, no, I definitely wouldn't ask, same as I wouldn't ask a friend or family if they sat on something that wasn't to be sat on and I'd not told them to get off it.


Jx

heuchera

For all those saying claim on the insurance won't that just increase your insurance in the future? You might as well just pay and replace it.

Hemera

If it was me damaging someone else's forniture, I'd be terribly sorry and definitely offer to pay for it. If it was beyond my means I'd offer what I can afford.
I'd expect anyone to do the same frankly, I think any reasonable person can asses with a glance whether an item of furniture is fit for bearing the weight of a person (hint: if it's not a chair, it probably isn't). I love having people around and provide food, drinks and whatever comfort they may require, but I do expect some respect (towards myself, other guests and yes the house as well).
I really don't see how not justifying a careless, disrespectful behavior makes me less of a graceful host...

Anatidaephobia

nomadgirl wrote: »

I'm amazed at some of the responses to this dilemma. Surely anyone who has been accepted into someone else's house, whether or not it's someone known to them, would at least offer to put right any damage they caused. Whether the offer is taken up is the decision of the home-owner. I believe it's known as decency??

But the situation described in this 'dilemma' is not someone saying they broke something in somebody else's house, should they offer to pay? If that were the case, probably most people would say yes, you should offer to pay.

The situation described is from the point of view of the house owner asking if he should contact someone he's already admitted he barely even knows and ask for payment when clearly this person has not yet offered.

Anatidaephobia

julie777 wrote: »

I disagree with everyone else. If they gatecrashed and then crashed your furniture too by doing something totally irresponsible and downright rude, I WOULD ask him to pay a reasonable amount especially as insurance is unlikely to cover the total cost.

There is not enough information given to establish whether or not this person gatecrashed. All we know is that the OP had never met this person before this occasion.

For all we know, the OP gave an open invitation and encouraged his friends to bring a plus one, or perhaps his friend directly asked him if he could bring this specific person and the OP said yes. Maybe there has been a precedent set at social gatherings at the OP's house and their friends knew it was acceptable to bring someone else.

Fujiko

If this was as described, a small gathering, the inference is that for whatever reason the number of guests was limited so it was very rude of your friend to just turn up with an uninvited guest whom you did not know Surely it would have been polite to telephone beforehand to ask permission? As it was, the hostess was placed in an impossible position. She could hardly refuse entry once he/she was on the doorstep!
As to paying for the damage, I think it is reasonable to ask your friend to get in touch with the culprit If no offer of compensation is made I would expect the friend to offer some payment since it was she who brought this person to the party.
As to standing at parties, I recently attended one where guests were expected to stand for over three hours and not a chair in sight. I had to give up and someone kindly went into another room and brought one to me. Unless you have a lot of younger guests who are happy to sit on the floor or stairs I would always make sure there were enough chairs for everyone to sit even if it meant using garden chairs or borrowing from neighbour. We have a mutual agreement!

System

No but if the guest who broke it was a decent person, they would have offered to pay to replace it or fix it.

Anatidaephobia

Judi wrote: »

No but if the guest who broke it was a decent person, they would have offered to pay to replace it or fix it.

Maybe so but that doesn't really give any advice or direction to the house owner who still has to make a decision.

Fujiko wrote: »

Surely it would have been polite to telephone beforehand to ask permission?

How do we know that they didn't?