Ex husband wants me to pay off half his debt

startingout2016

I separated from my husband 6 months ago and have been going through the house selling process since.

This weekend he told me that after we split the proceeds from the house I will owe him money for half of the credit card and loan he has.

I didn't know there was borrowing on credit cards or loans. They are not in my name. He says that he didn't think they needed to be in my name as he didn't expect we would be divorcing.

He also said that he disputes the fact that I didn't know about them and said that purchases on the credit cards and loans were for joint items.

He still hasn't told me how much is on the credit card and loan and how much he expects me to pay towards them.

I am still confused as to why any of these credit cards or loans were required as when we were living together he was earning a very high salary, whilst I was on £25k, we didn't have an expensive mortgage or do expensive things and i was given the impression that we were saving a good amount per month, which also turns out not to be true.

He is keeping most of the items from the house, so I feel quite against giving him more money when he is still earning a high salary and I am living back with parents and scraping by.

Since leaving him last year I found that he had taken a sum from my current account (an account I didn't use and therefore didn't find out about until I started to use it after we separated). When i confronted him on this he was apologetic and paid it back but does not see any wrong in doing so in the first place.

My thoughts are that I dont owe him anything, and by a legal standpoint, my name is not on the credit cards and loans so therefore I have no need to pay him anything but I am scared and worried that he will keep coming after me for this until I pay.

[Deleted User]

If they're in his name, then you don't owe anything.

But obviously there's a wider picture that you will both need to work through.

CalumHeath

Quite simply, if the debts are in his name only they are only his responsibility. If you had a joint credit card account (I don't even know if that's a thing) or an account where you have a credit card in each of your names then you would both be liable for the total of the debt regardless of who did the spending.

If he keeps coming after you for money (for any reason) that you don't owe, that's called harassment.

SeanG79

How long were you married?

I suggest you seek independent legal advice...

startingout2016

We were married for 3 years.

Divorce proceedings haven't been started yet due to me waiting to have the funds from the house sale to allow me to afford to submit the first set of forms to the courts.

He didn't want to divorce and will therefore not submit the forms himself. I am also worried about submitting them as he disagrees with all my reasons for divorcing (him being financially controling mainly)

antrobus

startingout2016 wrote: »

We were married for 3 years.

Divorce proceedings haven't been started yet due to me waiting to have the funds from the house sale to allow me to afford to submit the first set of forms to the courts.

He didn't want to divorce and will therefore not submit the forms himself. I am also worried about submitting them as he disagrees with all my reasons for divorcing (him being financially controling mainly)

If "Divorce proceedings haven't been started" then he is your husband and not your ex-husband. Not yet anyway.


As far as his debt is concerned, and your paying for it, that's precisely the kind of thing that gets sorted out as part of the divorce. He is perfectly entitled to claim that the debt is a marital debt, and you are perfectly entitled to tell him to jog off. If you can't agree, the court will decide.

startingout2016

my concern is that he could have been spending on credit cards for the last 6 months of us being separated and I wouldn't be able to know any better.

if I cant afford divorce proceedings and he refuses to, what happens then?

I assumed I would be ok remaining separated from him indefinitely.

Edit to add: I have registered the separation with our joint bank accounts, mortgage and the council and have legally reverted back to my maiden name.

As there were no children involved, pensions, or savings I don't see what else the act of legally divorcing will bring other than more debt for me.

mgdavid

Any legal financial settlement will be based on the situation at the time of separation, so he needs to produce copies of credit card statements showing the debt at that time. Not the debt he's racked up since. Don't forget you can claim half the value of his pension that was accrued during the 3 years married, maybe offset this against his debts? The point being, everything needs to be added up and split, no point in arguing over individual bits and pieces until the big picture is written down and added up.

robber2

1. Insist on seeing proof; i.e credit card statements
2. Tell him to jog off
3. not sure what you are asking here

startingout2016

I have read a lot of misleading information.

Certain websites providing advise regarding debts post separation state that debt in his name will not be my responsibility, however other websites state that even if I didnt know about his debts I am liable to pay half.

emilyrambal

Debt Liability Depends on the Nature of the Separation: Whether one or both spouses can be held liable for debts after separation can also depend on how a state recognizes separation. This generally has to do with the length or permanence of the separation and/or the intent and conduct of the spouses during this period. A few states allow a legal separation and will not recognize a separation for debt assignment purposes until the legal paperwork has been filed.