Hate myself for being so foolish

Squirrel29

I am so angry at myself for getting into this situation, five years ago I went through a hellish divorce but started again debt free apart from a £50k mortgage. I added £20k to my mortgage to do up my house (current value approx £128k). I then got a better paid job and my salary increased by £10k to £25k. I went a bit mad, had weekends away with mates and bought a horse. My job then unexpectedly ended, I got another one but my salary went down by £10k. I sold the horse but in that time accumalated a car loan, credit cards and another loan.

Since then I changed jobs again and now earn just over £20k but have a second job at weekends over the winter months which adds a approx a further £150 per month to my salary after tax. My SOA is

Incomings
Main job £1200 after pension, tax etc
Extra job £150 per month between Oct and Mar.
Child tax credit £100 per month
Child benefit £70 per month
Maintenance £150 per month

Outgoings

Mortgage £423 fixed for further 3 years.
Cahoot loan. Credit limit £6000 balance £5670 - just up to 15.9% (boo)
Nationwide loan 30 payments left x £127 per month (approx £3800 left) 6.7%
Nationwide credit card limit £5000, balance £1250 16.9%
Cahoot credit card limit £3000, balance £2700 10.9% for life of balance
Virgin credit card limit £3500, balance £2110 18.9%
Nationwide overdraft £1000. After paying all my essentials and debts I have approx £180 left per month.

I have put in the figures into snowball which actually makes things much clearer and gives me an approx debt free timescale of approx 50 months

My father (who is very strict with money and would kill me if he knew the extent of my debt) has offered to loan interest free the money to pay off the cahoot loan as the interest rate is rocketing. I daren't tell him the full balance but have said it is approx £3500, I just can't believe it has come to this, lying to my family. I don't want to go bankrupt as I need to keep a roof over our head and I feel so ashamed.

I am crying as I write this as I hate myself for getting in this mess in just 5 years, I don't want to go into my forties (3 years time) feeling so pressured, I want to be debt free or very nearly so, not have nearly £15k worth of debt around my neck.

Should I borrow the money interest free off my dad and does the snowball effect really work? Has anyone been this bad in debt on £20k approx and got out of it without DMP's or bankruptcy?

MrsTinks

I think if you read peoples signatures you'll see some have managed to get out of £100k debt
Start with a detailed SOA of all your outgoings etc and we'll see where we can save you some more money
For now hold off on the loan from your dad I think... Although it is a very lovely gesture Keep it for now as an emergency option
Also do any of your debts have PPI on them? If they do look into cancelling those and setting up a seperate policy - A LOT cheaper

Adrasteia01

Honestly, the loan from your dad sounds like a good idea as it would be at 0% most likely. Although there is the possibility he might want to look at your statements or may continue to ask about your financial situation. It would be more 'right' to tell him, but you know what you feel comfortable doing.

If he loans you the money then the best idea would be to pay it off the debt with the highest APR, which looks like it would be the virgin credit card. However, just looking at the amounts on your credit cards, you could shift stuff around to pay less interest. Have a look at Martin's pages on the credit card shuffle.

Other options would be to get another credit card with a cheap life of balance transfer rate (it would probably save you more than 0% cards as it is likely to take you a while to pay off) or get a loan and use it to pay off the credit card balances (then close the credit cards - very important).

Just a few ideas. All the best,
Tamara

RAS

Lost the post but..

Here is the link for an SOA http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=107280

Squirrel29

Hi, I have a Barclaycard with zero balance on it, but credit limit of £5500. I asked the other day if I could do a balance transfer as they sent me a mailshot recently advertising a 6.9% lifetime of balance rate. They said I could not put a balance transfer on but to try again in 12 weeks. However I have £5500 for purchases !!!

I asked what the difference was between having a £5500 limit for purchases but not balances transfers and he just waffled on about a balance transfer being an unsecured loan(?),

I always paid Barclaycard on time so don't understand why I am not allowed to do it, I tried for an Asda card last week but was offered 24% and only £500 credit. Not sure what the problem is, the only late payment I have made recently was being 10 days late paying off a Freemans catalogue.

I have no defaults or CCJ's. :mad:

Squirrel29

My mortgage is also fixed for further 3 years (repayment). I also pay nearly £100 occupational final salary pension per month. Should I stop the pension for now and put towards debts. And should I approch mortgage company and go interest free for a while to plough money off debts. I have 20 years left on mortgage.

Squirrel29

Tine, I recently cancelled the PPI on my Virgin account, it was £15 per month, by the time I had paid that plus interest I wasn't paying any off balance. My job is secure and I get full sick pay for approx 12 months.

RAS

Squirrel29 wrote: »

Hi, I have a Barclaycard with zero balance on it, but credit limit of £5500. I asked the other day if I could do a balance transfer as they sent me a mailshot recently advertising a 6.9% lifetime of balance rate. They said I could not put a balance transfer on but to try again in 12 weeks. However I have £5500 for purchases !!!

Squirrel

This is not my forte, as I hate CCs, but..

You can put £5,500 on a 6.9% card but what is the current APR on purchases?

If you have other debts on which you are paying much more, then one way of transferring the debt would be to pay your every day costs on the 6.9% card, and immediately pay off the same amount from your current account to the highest rated card which looks to be virgin to me.

So £50 electricity bill , pay this with the 6.9% card. Pay off £50 pounds from your current account into the Virgin CC. Effectively moved £50.

Slow and boring but.

RAS

Squirrel29 wrote: »

My mortgage is also fixed for further 3 years (repayment). I also pay nearly £100 occupational final salary pension per month. Should I stop the pension for now and put towards debts. And should I approch mortgage company and go interest free for a while to plough money off debts. I have 20 years left on mortgage.

how much is the mortgage per month? Would going interest only get you enough to make inroads on the debt?

Post up a full SOA and we can give you better advice.

Dumb_Blonde_3

Hiya Squirrel29,

First off welcome to the site and secondly please don't hate yourself - we've all been there but now you are doing something positive about it. Like Tine said if you post your full SOA's we can have a look at it. There are lots of ways to cut back and make money - like Ebaying things etc.

hypno06

Hello there! Just one to speak up for snowballing debts - your debt free date you have is just a starting point. With a bit of focus and the support and ideas you get from this site you can bring that forward significantly, I am proof of that one!

One step at a time, but you will get there x