KonMari 2016 - The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

lessonlearned

I love my all white bedroom. It is quite small but It feels so light and airy. Two wardrobes with mirrored doors, one bedside table with mirrored drawer fronts. White bedlinen.

Next to one of the wardrobes I have placed a plain white IKEA melamine cube shelving arrangement. In each space there are various sized pretty cardboard hat type boxes which hold Komono, such as toiletries, jewellery, sewing and crafting supplies.

A plain white blind at the window and a white Japanese style paper lampshade. At the bottom of the bed is a plain beechwood ottoman.

There's an old victorian fireplace that I fill with plants, currently a large bright red antirinum.

It sounds horribly Spartan but it isn't. It's peaceful, overlooks the garden and catches the morning sun. I have an unusual ceramic lustre clock which is a very modern sculptural shape on the windowsill - a gift from one of my sons and a mirrored tray of candle holders on the mantelpiece.

The pretty boxes and dress cushions and throws add colour as do flowers and plants and art on the walls. Currently I have a huge Van Gogh poster, bright turquoise background with a cherry blossom design. Then some Chinese paintings, birds and flowers on silk. A small orchid which was a Mother's Day gift sits on my bedside table together with a photo of my late husband and a mirrored bedside light.

The room does have a kind of Japanese style feel and is very restful.

I have no tech or electrical gadgets In the room other than a hairdryer which is kept in my wardrobe.

Oh and a cat who sleeps on my bed........:D

The use of white, mirrors and reflective surfaces make what would be a small dark room look much bigger, brighter and more welcoming.

Having said that I watched Paddington tonight and fell in love with mr and Mrs Browns red bedroom - very oriental and sumptuous looking. Perhaps in my new house.......:rotfl:

Charis

Lady_Bee wrote: »

I'm hoping that once I've kondo'ed the house I can start to kondo my life. I'm stuck in a massive rut and feel like life is passing me by. Clearing the carp will hopefully clear my mind. I have a copy of 'Feel the Fear..' but I'm currently too scared to read it

I did read 'Feel the Fear', over a decade ago, but found it unrealistic. It didn't change anything for me as the fear itself was what stopped me from doing anything. It's difficult to breathe in the throes of a panic attack, let alone face all your worst fears. I got better gradually, one step at a time, learning to stop comparing myself with others and needing their permission to be myself (a hangover from childhood).

By middle age I considered myself fairly confident but when I began 'Kondoing' last November, my attitude to life began to shift to a whole new level. I think I had carried all that physical carp mentally, like dragging a bag of rocks behind me, it was something I would deal with 'some day' before I could give myself permission to move on.

Clearing my carp definitely cleared my mind, even though I still have photos and mementoes left to go, plus stuff the family have left here. Once it began to be cleared I could see the 'elephant in the room' for what it is. Lately I am being challenged to make some life choices and have had a couple of woo moments (a dream two days ago, and a very lucid thought this evening) challenging me to discover where I would like my life to go from here.

GreyQueen

Morning all.

Woo, charis, that is profound. I'm astounded by how many deep changes can be achieved once we've dealt with the carp. It's as if we've allowed ourselves to be distracted/ insulated by Stuff.

Because we can't do things because we're so busy with Stuff, and housework and domestic matters take so much time, as does shopping for more Stuff, because our existing Stuff isn't making us happy and the whole commercial world is telling us that this is because it isn't The Right Stuff, the Fashionable Stuff, the Stylish High Status Stuff. If only we'd made better choices we'd have better Stuff and be better, happier people.

So we thrash around on the hamster wheel of life, wondering why we are always so tired and always have this nagging sense of things undone. And not to mention the sheer physicality of handling Stuff, the upstairs and downstairs, the lofting and atticking, the shed and the garage and the workshop and the storage unit................. it's unending.

But it does end one day and pfft! we're outta here and someone else, mostly someone dear to us, has to deal with it all.

lessonlearned, loving the description of your room, sounds like the kind of environment I could be happy in. I painted my room white for the first time as a 13 y.o. Actually, that room is still white, all these years later.

ScotinLondon

Lessonlearned - your room sounds lovely. That is what I am trying to aim for. Just need more KDing.

GQ - agree with you. My mind feels like it is going from one thing to another without actually finishing anything. Am a big procrastinator and when studying that is not a good thing. I flit from one thing to another. Am sure that it will get better in my mind as I have read it has with other people.

This thread is good, because you learn that you are not alone and that other people are the same or were the same.

As with Charis it has taken me a long time to work that I am good at what I do and who I am. I am trying to ignore the people who want to bring me down.

Have a good Sunday all.

SIL

lessonlearned

Another plus for white that Mavvy touched on.......

No cutting in or having to use masking tape or trying to get the perfect lines......just bring out the brushes and rollers and get stuck in.......:rotfl: easy peasy and quick to refresh if it gets a bit grubby.

White really is the perfect blank canvas. And with so many shades of white there's always the perfect white for any room. It doesn't have to be stark or cold.

Charis. I love what you have written. It's so true and I agree very profound. My decluttering began when my husband got sick and I had to downsize, sell our Spanish home and also our comfortable family home.

At first it was incredibly hard having to part with much loved homes and possessions. It's been an incredible journey and with each step I began to feel that a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. The simple fact is "it's just stuff and stuff wears you down and holds you back".

But it's so true, letting go changes everything and as we simplify life takes on a whole new meaning.

I wish some of my family could see this, especially my sister. She is finding mums death very hard and has filled her house to the brim with mum's possessions. Now dad has gone to live with her too and taken all his stuff (and there is a lot!!!) and now she can't move for "stuff".

She's tired, stressed, short of money and I worry that she is making herself ill.

I lost both my husband and my mum within 7 months of each other. Both were desperately ill and their quality of life at the end was zero. Their deaths were their release from pain and suffering and whilst I was sorry to have to let them go it really was "for the best". a cliche I know but so true. They have been set free.

For me dealing with their stuff was relatively easy. I learned that hanging on to their possessions won't bring the people we love back to us... We have to let go. I keep just a few small items which capture their essence in a memory box.

I know they would both have approved........they both loved me and would want me to be happy, not weighed down by sadness, loss, longing or regret.

Casting off stuff really has set me free. I still have a way to go yet but I'm working my way through at a steady pace. Only a few more weeks to go.

Yesterday afternoon was wonderful. Ds2 and I lit the chimenea and burnt the last of the paperwork, all the nursing home stuff, the medical records and hospital stuff, some old financial papers.

It was lovely to just sit outside with a cup of tea, some homemade cake, watching it all burn. Another 10 ton weight off my shoulders and goodbye and good riddance to all the bad memories of "the nursing home years".

Today a little break and then next week back to the task in hand. Only now I don't see Kondoing as a task. I am just enjoying the process so much, it gives me joy in itself.

mrs-moneypenny

Well done lesson learned what a fantastic post, I'm glad you aren't weighed down and have reached the stage where you can let the baggage that weighs you down go.

I've got a few bits of knitting to finish so they can be passed on to whatever cause they are for. I used to have loads of wool everywhere and end up with lots out trying to work through different projects and feeling bogged down with it all so ended up doing not much. Now I have sorted out a small bag of oddments I'm working through with 2 patterns so when I have time I can use that wool to knit either scbu or instant smoothie hats. Once that is used up I will sort out another project and some more wool.
I'm currently sitting here in the dress I made last week from fabric I've had in the cupboard.

Got a pile of stuff that can go to the CS next week we want to add to that so more space is freed off.

Have a joyful Sunday all

System

I love my all white bedroom. It is quite small but It feels so light and airy. Two wardrobes with mirrored doors, one bedside table with mirrored drawer fronts. White bedlinen.

I'd love an all white bedroom.... its just not practical for me whilst we have the dogs and a mucky Grandson.... one day!

Karmacat

GreyQueen wrote: »

Woo, charis, that is profound. I'm astounded by how many deep changes can be achieved once we've dealt with the carp. It's as if we've allowed ourselves to be distracted/ insulated by Stuff.

Absolutely, thank you charis and GQ both.

I'm working on this thing of "going for it". I don't have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, but I do have Chronic Fatigue, which I expect to recover from gradually once I retire. And at the moment, I'm working through the last days of a relationship that I realise soured many years ago for me - but the realisation of quite how bad its been only hit me once the ex-friend got cancer and decided not to see any of her friends, including me (30 year friendship). I've offered to go see her in the hospice, like a mutual friend of ours has just done (my business partner) but that was cancelled by her. I may be able to see her before she dies, I don't honestly know right now. Part of me would be glad if I didn't, as I won't have to lie-by-omission then.


“Going for it”, without looking after yourself in an honest way, is a recipe for disaster. I think the people on here are looking after themselves, in a big way, and that's why I'm so glad to be a part of it.

But it does end one day and pfft! we're outta here and someone else, mostly someone dear to us, has to deal with it all.

Lots of deletions here, as it's her story to tell, not mine, and she deserves her privacy. But that sentence from GQ is exactly right.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Another plus for white that Mavvy touched on.......

No cutting in or having to use masking tape or trying to get the perfect lines......just bring out the brushes and rollers and get stuck in.......:rotfl: easy peasy and quick to refresh if it gets a bit grubby.

White really is the perfect blank canvas. And with so many shades of white there's always the perfect white for any room. It doesn't have to be stark or cold.

Charis. I love what you have written. It's so true and I agree very profound. My decluttering began when my husband got sick and I had to downsize, sell our Spanish home and also our comfortable family home.

At first it was incredibly hard having to part with much loved homes and possessions. It's been an incredible journey and with each step I began to feel that a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. The simple fact is "it's just stuff and stuff wears you down and holds you back".

But it's so true, letting go changes everything and as we simplify life takes on a whole new meaning.

…..

Yesterday afternoon was wonderful. Ds2 and I lit the chimenea and burnt the last of the paperwork, all the nursing home stuff, the medical records and hospital stuff, some old financial papers.

It was lovely to just sit outside with a cup of tea, some homemade cake, watching it all burn. Another 10 ton weight off my shoulders and goodbye and good riddance to all the bad memories of "the nursing home years".

Loving this, LL, I don't have any comment because its perfect right from white as the right house colour to watching the paper burn. I'm not quite there yet – but I am getting rid of various little things that remind me of this situation that I outlined in the first bit of the post.


Thank you all so much.

lessonlearned

Karma. It's not long now until you retire......August will be here before you know it.

I think you will find that as the stresses and strains of work fall from your shoulders you will see a distinct improvement in the chronic fatigue........your adrenal system is working hard right now just to keep you going, plus all the added stress of your friends illness, money worries etc.

I'm sure that once your pension kicks in and you don't have to work purely for monetary gain life will start to take on a far rosier hue.

My husband became sick in 2006, finally dying in August 2014. It has been a ten year journey for me. Sometimes that tunnel was long and dark but hey I've finally reached the end and out into the dappled sunlight - today literally, it's a glorious spring day here.:D

Along the way there was much pain and sorrow, strains and stresses, money worries, and eventually it made me ill too, cfs, fibromyalgia, IBS, Gord, insomnia. Sometimes it felt like I was standing on a precipice and that one false move and I would be done for.

But.......what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger and all that.

Karma- just ride it out, you'll make it. In the meantime try to look after your health as best you can. Rest, sleep, healthy eating, a little gentle exercise on the days you can manage it, a bit of Kondoing here and there. Get out in the sun, potter about in your garden.

Remember It's not a race, just go at your own Speed.

lessonlearned

I never did bother reading "Fifty Shades of Grey"...........sounded like a lot of old tosh to me and I didnt think the male actor whose name escapes me - yes he is that memorable - in the film was up to much.....:rotfl: Not my idea of a heart throb;)

Give me Tom Hiddleston in the "Night Manager" (Bbc1 tonight) or Doug Henshall in Shetland any day.......but I digress......

Maybe I should jump on the simplicity bandwagon and write a decorating/lifestyle guru type book "Fifty Shades of White". :rotfl: