Retiring early: Persuading the Spouse

jennyjj

Thrugelmir wrote: »

How many of your friends have retired early?

Great question.
ONE! He's never looked back.

One other who significantly downshifted divorced shortly after.

I had to think about that. Maybe that's why I find myself in a minority.

I figure mostly because they have kids or grandkids to support.

Torry_Quine

It is very young to retire at 56 and so I am with your wife. I can't imagine my husband stopping work in only a couple of years!

jennyjj

saver861 wrote: »

However, convincing OH of the 'factual' side of not running out of money is somewhat different to eliminating his 'insecurity' of not running out of money.

There is a huge difference.

Good point. Numbers are one thing. Niggles and uncertainty are another less tangible adversary.
Current objective is to DEMONSTRATE it can work, by forcing home the shorter working week, somehow.

jennyjj

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It is very young to retire at 56 and so I am with your wife. I can't imagine my husband stopping work in only a couple of years!

Nice, contrary viewpoint. Please make a case for your position, so that I can better understand WHY.

lynnejk

If you can prove the figures, and you look fairly sure, I would go for it and retire.


You have your side line business - maybe spend more time on that. If you want company then join some things or, even better IMO, find some interesting voluntary work to do. There's lots of organisations looking for fit helpers and it's not just about charity shops. You will find there is a local volunteers organisation, who will be more than happy to help you find somewhere that can use your talents.


Happy retirement

Torry_Quine

jennyjj wrote: »

Nice, contrary viewpoint. Please make a case for your position, so that I can better understand WHY.

It just seems strange to voluntarily stop working so young when hopefully you have decades ahead of you.
Time off and holidays are all the better if it isn't all the time and you are still working


That said you and your wife need to decide this together.

jennyjj

lynnejk wrote: »

If you want company then join some things or, even better IMO, find some interesting voluntary work to do. There's lots of organisations looking for fit helpers and it's not just about charity shops. You will find there is a local volunteers organisation, who will be more than happy to help you find somewhere that can use your talents.

Cheers.
Actually, I do have all that in my plan. I suspect the fear of change generally is what is at the back of the OH's mind.

jennyjj

Thanks Torry. You seem to align perfectly with my beloved.

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It just seems strange...

THAT is the essence of the argument I get.
But I cannot grasp that as any kind of explanation or evaluation. It just doesn't give me anything to work with. Sort of like ' Because, well just because!!!' as an argument. Impossible to counter such a position without being equally stubborn and, well, just plain contrary.
I don't want to fight over this. I want to persuade or be persuaded.

Andypandyboy

I think maybe your wife knows you quite well? Would that be fair comment? Does she suspect that after the novelty has worn off you will stagnate? Age? What will you do all day, every day?

Money aside, you have to fill your days, be fullflled and satisfied. How are you on extended holidays? Do you have hobbies/ a circle of friends who have free time? Are you a "joiner"?

I have a couple of friends who are older than I am by 15 years or so, 62 and 67 respectively (a couple). They are not retired but many of their circle of friends are and they complain how "old" they are, that they lack get up and go, that they no longer want to go to xyz or they plead they can't afford it when they are actually very comfortable.

Both of them have delayed their retirement plans on the basis of these experiences.

We could both retire but we plan to work till 60 at least, because we still enjoy the cut and thrust.

Would part time work be an option?

saver861

Torry_Quine wrote: »

It just seems strange to voluntarily stop working so young when hopefully you have decades ahead of you.
Time off and holidays are all the better if it isn't all the time and you are still working

That is a worry for some but actually, there is no reason to be worried. Many people get involved in all sorts of new ventures and are free from the responsibility of the work situation - which is a biggie.

Certainly being tied to a five day week job when you can make up much of the income from pension and other means, would generally not be a good thing for the majority of people, given the desire to retire.

If OP does not retire, or for whatever reason is 'persuaded' to continue working, I suspect resentment will continue to build and the outcome might not be as endearing. They had agreed to change the working arrangement last year after one more year of working. That has now gone by and as she says, spouse is now reneging on that deal. I suspect if the same deal was made this year the same situation would arise next year too!!