Retiring early: Persuading the Spouse

jennyjj

OK. I need to air some frustration and maybe get some advice:-

Situation: Married, no kids, no debts, no mortgage, 40 years FT employment behind me and shared liquid assets of > £200K. I can draw a FS pension that will give me another 50k or so and about 11k a year. Spouse and I are not big spenders and can get by on 2K a month. Spouse has a part time job to 'get out of the house for'. I have a low stress full time job, because 5 years ago, on voluntary redundancy, spouse insisted I get a job, any job, because I'm 'too young to retire'. I also have a sideline business. But spouse doesn't count that as anything more than a hobby.

But Dammit, I want much more free time. Work seems a pointless expenditure of my remaining life above ground. It's a good job, but grrr, 5 days a week is too much. (have requested shorter week)

About 18 months ago, I made crystal clear that I earnestly wanted to at least semi retire. It caused major grief. Somehow, I found myself compared to in-laws, who worked well into their 60s, because that was the done thing and because father in law got under mum-in-law's feet. Needless to say, MIL is backing up spouse. FIL is long departed this world, bless him

We agreed I'd stick with it for another year, but that has now whistled by and spouse is reneging on the deal. Grrrrr vent.....
That's the thing.... at 56, I'm in what I call non-linear time. Months seem to pass in hours and grey hairs sprout in minutes.

Am I so unwise to want to just chill, maybe waste more time (20 years or so) on being busy doing nothing?

Advice welcome. Anything from 'Assert yourself' through to 'Think of the consequences of daytime tv' would be welcome.

JJ
ps. Why do I feel I'm going to regret asking

Stubod

I think you need to seek marriage guidance rather than a financial forum.

You need to understand your OH's reasoning for not agreeing to retire when you had already decided a year ago? Perhaps the fear of "no income"? We are in a similar position...possibly have enough (?), but not 100% sure, particularly when you still have a good few years left to state pension, (and not knowing exactly how much it will be). Its a bold step to go from having regular money in to suddenly have to start spending all the money you have saved, although it sounds like you are financially OK so why not go for it!....or certainly the option of "part time"...or develop your "hobby" into something more substantial of that's an option. The older you get the more stories you hear about friends / acquaintances retiring for a year or so and then passing on!

The only reason I can think of continuing to work when you don't need to is because you prefer your job to having the free time.

..good luck with your decision...

saver861

Well, you don't need nobody's permission to retire.

Now, it ain't all as simple as that of course but that is the bottom line. Mostly comes down to finances for most people. But, if you get £11k pension and have £250k to invest/save then that could give you an extra £10k ish per year. You are therefore a long way into meeting your £2k per month expenditure without either of you working.

Thus if he has a part-time job and you have a sideline business thats bringing in some dosh then you are over your required monthly costs.

That said, full time retirement is an occupation in itself. At 56, there is still lots of working/activity left in most people.

All you need to do is sit down and sort out the finances first. That will make it clear what any shortfall or surplus is. In this case its likely to be surplus. When you both get state pension, then you will have more than enough per month. Check out what your state pensions are by getting a forecast.

You might find you can ditch the full time job and either do it two or three days per week, or work on your sideline business. You chill for the remaining days of the week.

All a doddle really and its your decision, not other half, inlaws, next door neighbours cat etc

McKneff

As above


Decide what you want to do, your other half is busy deciding what she wants to do.


Being here is not a rehearsal, stop working, do what you want.....


Last year, I collapsed with a major heart attack out of the blue, I survived.


2 of my family collapsed with the same, and they didn't.

xylophone

You say that you and your spouse need £2000 a month for living expenses.

Presumably on leaving your current job, you will draw your FS pension - it seems that it will cover your half of those expenses.

Presumably the spouse's salary/pension covers the rest?

If this is the case, there seems no reason why you shouldn't retire if that is what you want.

zagfles

If your spouse is more keen on working than you are, why have they got a part time job when you have a full time job plus a business? Why not 'insist' they go full time and you go part time?

elsien

Parent sold business and retired. Enjoyed it for 6 months then became thoroughly depressed and started a consultancy. Whilst driving me thoroughly up the wall in the meantime by "dropping in" far more often than I would have liked.
Either it's about loss of income, or it's about your OH having reservations about how your relationship is going to work and encroaching on "their" space if you do retire. If it's not something you've discussed honestly, maybe now is the time.
Otherwise I'm with you - if I could afford it I'd go part time or retire like a shot.

jennyjj

Stubod wrote: »

I think you need to seek marriage guidance rather than a financial forum.

I anticipated that advice We managed 30 years without it. Call us stubborn, and deeply in love, of course

You need to understand your OH's reasoning for not agreeing to retire...

Totally agree. So far it's apparently a mix of 'You're just too young' with a smidgen of 'You'll get bored or under my feet'

Perhaps the fear of "no income"?

I was tasked with proving that we would not run out of money, and can do so fairly easily.

We are in a similar position...

Let' decide together:)

..So why not go for it!....or certainly the option of "part time"...or develop your "hobby" into something more substantial of that's an option. The older you get the more stories you hear about friends / acquaintances retiring for a year or so and then passing on!

VERY TRUE. We both have colleagues of similar age who have life changing illnesses. E.G. brain hemorrhage, MND, cancer.

The only reason I can think of continuing to work when you don't need to is because you prefer your job

I would miss the human interaction, but there are surely other humans outside of the office.

Thanks for the advice and good wishes. This seems such a stupid done deal, but I'm canvassing for opinions from all directions

jennyjj

Crikey, so many replies so quickly.

Yes. To all those who tell me to assert my own rights
Did enjoy this contrary observation.

Extra info. If I get my way with shorter working week, at least for six months, then I reckon we will be in a very good place. Employer dragging his heels though.

elsien wrote: »

Parent sold business and retired. Enjoyed it for 6 months then became thoroughly depressed and started a consultancy. Whilst driving me thoroughly up the wall in the meantime by "dropping in" far more often than I would have liked.
Either it's about loss of income, or it's about your OH having reservations about how your relationship is going to work and encroaching on "their" space if you do retire. If it's not something you've discussed honestly, maybe now is the time.
Otherwise I'm with you - if I could afford it I'd go part time or retire like a shot.

Thrugelmir

jennyjj wrote: »

I would miss the human interaction, but there are surely other humans outside of the office.

How many of your friends have retired early?

saver861

jennyjj wrote: »

I was tasked with proving that we would not run out of money, and can do so fairly easily.

Yes from your OP its clear to see that it would be easy to demonstrate you won't run out of money given the current situation.

However, convincing OH of the 'factual' side of not running out of money is somewhat different to eliminating his 'insecurity' of not running out of money.

There is a huge difference.

One thing is for sure, you definitely do not need to be working full time from a financial perspective.