Thank you cards - how?!

eamon

This topic was discussed on Jeremy Vine yesterday. It ended in a draw but lamented the decline of handwriting. One item that wasn't dicussed was that if post is the preferred delivery method then if you have a large enough family/friend group to respond to the postage cost could be significant.

selement

After this I sent a Facebook message thanking my godparent for the cash, they read it and did not respond (assuming they used Facebook corrosion). Oh well at least I tried so don't feel as guilty for never saying anything!

Primrose

As a child I remember that my mother allocated Christmas afternoon for the writing of Thank You Notes to relatives so the practice has been well grounded in me over the years and I do really think that good manners in this respect does mark a child out.

I think perhaps a reasonable compromise for a child of almost any age these days is to hold a supply of really nice blank decorative cards that the child can write (or draw in) as appropriate so that the donor has something tangible slipping through their letter box. I have had young relatives who have never written a Thank You letter in their lives so have stopped bothering with them now.

And does it make you a bad mother if you don't enforce this habit in your children? Well, I don't think you will be doing them any favours when they will be judged against their peers in later life in all kinds of competitive situations if they are found wanting in some of the basic manners which oil the wheels in all kinds of social and business situations. Get the habit ingrained while they are young. It will be one less hard skill for them to have to learn and battle with later on.

GlasweJen

I have Asperger's syndrome so find the phone horrendous but can quite happily sit for hours writing thank you cards. This year I have a mix of Christmas and engagement gifts to thank people for. All cash and cheque gifts have "thank you aunt Jemima and uncle Fred for your generous and thoughtful gift that we will use towards buying new kitchen appliances". All physical gifts have something like "thank you uncle Bob and aunt Fanny for the tea towels, their design is lovely and they look beautiful in our kitchen".

With a large family the cost of stamps is horrendous

The_Last_Username

skattykatty wrote: »

As an aside: I didn't realise that writing thank you cards after Christmas and birthdays was a 'thing' until I met my husband and his family and then when friends started having kids and I brought gifts for the children. Is it a specifically 'English' or 'British' tradition? I never sent thank you cards as a kid and was never told to do so. It would never have occurred to my parents to tell me to do so! I just said thank you and appeared suitably grateful! I must admit it is nice to get a card, but I've wondered about the challenge for parents to sit kids down and make them write a stream of cards (especially now that kids invite a whole class for birthday dos!)

This "thing" is yet another part of the (uniquely?) British practise of good manners and etiquette.
Yes, it MAY BE slightly old-fashioned in a "modern" world where few "real" letters are exchanged any more and - in fact - standards of literacy are poor and in continued decline.

In polite society however it REMAINS good manners to thank the benevolence of the giver and the PREFERRED method remains a hand-written note or card.

My son is already well-aware of this (together with some of the reasons) and has already posted his cards of thanks.
Albeit with his typical scrawl which is, I admit, slowly improving.
He is six years old.

Jagraf

I had a text from my two Nieces, my daughter sends texts except to older people who she writes to.

Tbh I don't expect any thank yous but ensure my daughter thanks especially those who would be offended if they didn't receive one. I personally don't understand why they would be offended though. You don't give to receive.

im never put out by not getting a thank you. Life is too short, and anyone who thinks the kids have written them without a load of nagging is very naive.

ciderwithrosie_2

My sons phone or email their grandparents to thank them for birthday gifts, but Christmas they see them in person anyway. I don't often have to remind them to do it but I would say, it's common courtesy and they won't be around for ever and it makes them happy to hear from you.

I used to have to write at least half a dozen thank yous as a child every birthday from as soon as I could write really, sadly all those relatives have now passed.

burnoutbabe

I don't give to receive but i shall write a tahnsk you card to my nephew who is 3 and apparently chose us all a present to give to us. So I shall write to him before he (or his mum) writes to us. Show him we all do it.

Now, people who never write wedding thank yous annoy me. How do I know if you ever got that debenhams gift thing i got off your list if you never say. Very rude!

Primrose

Oh don't talk about u acknowledged wedding gifts. The height of bad manners i think. After one distant relative hadn't acknowledged an expensive wedding gift selected from a John Lewis list 3 months after the wedding I wrote saying that before I raised a complaint with J.L. about non delivery of their wedding gift, could they please confirm that it had not arrived. That did result in an eventual acknowledgement but whether anybody else got a thank you I don't know.

onlyroz

Not a peep yet from my (adult) nieces about the money sent well before Christmas. Might not bother next year.