Thank you cards - how?!

DigForVictory

Tis the season to be merry & all, but in my lexicon thank you letters (or notes) come after the exchange of presents.

Am I as up to date as Downton, should I go over to digital (& what about the elderly relatives who haven't but have still been generous?) or does no one expect a hand written thank you any more?

If you coax your little dears through pen & paper, how? As my methods appear to include attempted persuasion then whimpering that the results are going to leave me in the more with sundry relatives pouring scorn on me as a Bad Mother.

Help, please?

heuchera

How old are your little dears ?

elsien

I'm not elderly but do like hand written notes from the nieces and nephews if they've not bothered to phone (ie have a conversation, not a text) to say thanks. Doesn't have to be long, a couple of sentences is fine, but if I've made the effort to buy something, then a generic email/printout/ photo written and sent by mum really doesn't count. Actually, an email would be ok if it was done by them not by a parent.
As to how mum and dad make them do it? No idea, but I strongly suspect a degree of coercion/stapling to the chair may be involved.

Eta - I also have memories of parents putting an afternoon aside to ensure me and siblings did the dirty deed. And the closer to Christmas the better - longer time lags mean more resistance. Nan telling a recalcitrant niece that if she couldn't be bothered with a proper thank you, then nan couldn't be bothered buying any more presents also helped to focus the mind.

VfM4meplse

I doubt anyone is going to pour scorn on you as a bad mother.

Gift givers are however delighted to receive a little thank you, and how hard is it really for your little darlings to put pen to papers and write 3 lines in the format of:
- dear so-and-so
- thank you for the gift, followed by something specific about it to say why or how
- you have been so generous. Wishing you all the best for the New Year (sign-off)

If the alternative is having to make a phone call to the benefactor and talk at length, I'm sure most kids would prefer to scribble a couple of notes and be done with it. Otherwise you will be stuck with texting thanks to everyone, which is not the same. Think about it, you don't need to make a rodd for your own back.

olgadapolga

My children phone people to say thank you - they tend to do it off their own bat these days as well, I don't even have to ask them to ring so-and-so to say thanks. And they get the benefit of a chat as well. Or if the gift is given in person then they will thank the giver there and then.

DigForVictory

Based on the effort I've put in to getting seven cards with a couple of sentences along VfM4meplse's lines from each of 3 teens? I desperately hope the recipients appreciate that the offspring have put effort in. As I'm crackered, and yes, while I love my senior relatives, they can do & will judge, hence my pleas for better technique!
Ah well. They do understand Why, they just do not like it. Plus I fully agree with getting on with things rather than allowing time to erode gratitude.
Next year it will be this or phone calls & I suspect cooperation will improve markedly - many thanks!

Newly_retired

I would be grateful for a text or e-mail or even a message on Facebook just to know that the flowers I sent to my adult niece did in fact arrive before Christmas.
I don't want to wait for a letter in the post in a couple of days' time.

Serendipitious

DigForVictory wrote: »

Based on the effort I've put in to getting seven cards with a couple of sentences along VfM4meplse's lines from each of 3 teens? I desperately hope the recipients appreciate that the offspring have put effort in. As I'm crackered, and yes, while I love my senior relatives, they can do & will judge, hence my pleas for better technique!
Ah well. They do understand Why, they just do not like it. Plus I fully agree with getting on with things rather than allowing time to erode gratitude.
Next year it will be this or phone calls & I suspect cooperation will improve markedly - many thanks!

It's lovely that you encourage this and I've always appreciated the thank you notes I've received.

selement

...........

maman

Not sure I count as an elderly relative but I'm getting there!:D


I certainly appreciate a handwritten thank you from younger family although a call is acceptable too.


I'm disappointed when obviously written by mum as that tells me that mum knows it's the right thing to do but hasn't managed to pass that on to her own child/children. (Different with really little ones who just manage to do a scribble or later just sign name.)


As for making it easier I know my DDs involve the DGDs in buying/making nice cards which perhaps motivates them to write them. I think they do a few a day during holidays and as they've got older so they've learned it's part of life.

kerri_gt

I'm in my 30's and until recently I always sent a handwritten card to my uncle and aunt to say thank you for my gift. I must admit in the past few years I have lapsed a little and this year will prob rely on email as I have both of their addresses'

We get a Facebook message to say thanks for gifts from some we buy for, at 16 I appreciate them bothering to do this and thinking to do it, I'm pretty sure their parents don't make them. From younger ones it is nice to get a card, sometimes from very little ones the parents write it with an 'X' marks the spot from her little 'un. It used to be a real big bear of mine to not even receive a thank you from some in past years but I've mellowed in my view of this and as some of the family have grown up, we do get a text / message from them which I do appreciate.

For thank you's to an older non-electronic generation, I would revert to what I did as a child...paper and pen. I simply got told I was going to write my thank you's, that people had bothered to take the time to buy and wrap / send something for me so I should write and say thank you. Did I always like doing it? No. But there was no bribery / reward for doing it (reward was the gifts I had already received) it was very much 'get out your paper and pen, sit and the table and write your notes to x / y / z'