fidget toys

Spendless

*zippy* wrote: »

If I was iammumtoone I don't think I'd want parenting advice off someone that rude tbh :eek:

lol, I do though. Someone that adamant you can just stop someone doing something automatically, just like that, must know the way. I want that spell for my magic wand ...I have teenagers.:D

Pixie5740

*zippy* wrote: »

If I was iammumtoone I don't think I'd want parenting advice off someone that rude tbh :eek:

So it's rude to have a different suggestion to everyone else?

Getting to the root cause of why the child fidget is obviously the wrong way to go about things then. Much better to let the child fidget. Let him continue fidgeting when he's in school so that he's too busy fidgeting to actually learn anything and distracting all the other children. Let him continue to fidget as an adult as that will go down well at job interviews and in the work place.

I never said it would be easy but just giving him something else to fidget with is taking the path of least resistance which won't really help the child in the long run.

Pixie5740

Spendless wrote: »

lol, I do though. Someone that adamant you can just stop someone doing something automatically, just like that, must know the way. I want that spell for my magic wand ...I have teenagers.:D

Where did I say that the OP could just get the child to stop fidgeting automatically. That's right I didn't....except in your head.

Spendless

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Where did I say that the OP could just get the child to stop fidgeting automatically. That's right I didn't....except in your head.

There you go. Just explain how

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I never implied the OP was a bad mother. I just suggested teaching the child to stop fidgeting rather than waste time finding something for the child to fidget with. Not everyone has a disorder or syndrome however much people like to try and attach a label to excuse certain behaviours rather than dealing with them.

theoretica

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Flat feet are a physical condition. Fidgeting is not.

It is a cruel trap to fall into to give more consideration to physical conditions, and feel if people with mental conditions just tried harder they could be like everyone else.

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I never implied the OP was a bad mother. I just suggested teaching the child to stop fidgeting rather than waste time finding something for the child to fidget with. Not everyone has a disorder or syndrome however much people like to try and attach a label to excuse certain behaviours rather than dealing with them.

I imagine the OP, like all parents, is picking her battles and feels she is teaching more important things. For some kids not fidgeting will be a worthly lesson, for others there is a very long queue in front of it and it may never get to the front. As you say, not everyone has a syndrome - but that doesn't mean that noone does.

*zippy*

Pixie5740 wrote: »

So it's rude to have a different suggestion to everyone else?

Getting to the root cause of why the child fidget is obviously the wrong way to go about things then. Much better to let the child fidget. Let him continue fidgeting when he's in school so that he's too busy fidgeting to actually learn anything and distracting all the other children. Let him continue to fidget as an adult as that will go down well at job interviews and in the work place.

I never said it would be easy but just giving him something else to fidget with is taking the path of least resistance which won't really help the child in the long run.

You have no idea why the OP is looking for fidget toys as she's never actually said if her child has a condition or not, yet you've made assumptions and judgements to have a little dig that people are labelling their children rather than disciplining them and are being lazy parents. Do you not see how that makes you look?

You keep saying we should all be dealing with the problem, but have no answers?

You've been told several times children do have conditions where fidget toys are very helpful, ok you may not have experience of that, but others do, can't you accept that, why are you being so dogmatic over it?

Do you have children? I'm being nosey

Pixie5740

Are you being nosey or are you making assumptions about me just like everyone is making assumptions that the OP's child has some kind of condition that somehow makes it ok not to address the fidgeting? Even if the child does have some kind of label attached to him/her that makes them more likely to fidget does that make taking the path of least resistance better? Aren't parents supposed to prepare their children for the big bad world as best they can as the parents won't always be around to make the case for their children's behaviour?

I just made the suggestion to deal with the cause rather than the symptom and I was called rude and unhelpful. Since the OP hasn't explained the cause then no-one can make specific suggestions on how to address the issue.

Pixie5740

Spendless wrote: »

There you go. Just explain how

You do realise that teaching isn't something that happens automatically. Teaching is a process which both the teacher and the one learning have to engage in. Perhaps you should try teaching with your teenagers rather than wishing for a magic spell.

The OP hasn't even indicated that the child has an underlying condition that would make him/her more likely to fidget. The "how" would depend on whether the child has autism, anxiety, or whatever label you're all so determined to slap on the child.

iammumtoone

I would like to thank everyone on here who gave me helpful advise without asking more and without judging me.

EDIT: I deleted my post as I don't really want to go into that much detail.

I am going to stay away from this site for a bit as whatever you post on a forum you need to be able to take the replies (whatever they are)

Bringing up a child is hard my son has quite a few issues and I am fed up with everyone automatically assuming that I haven't done something or not taught him something. People always assume that I have not put in enough effort, I am trying my best but I do struggle with how to teach a child basic things that others seem to have no problem with getting their child to do. I google a lot / been on parenting courses and try all the suggestions but these never seem to work for me/my son. I'm not going to say any more else this post will just end up a rant as the previous one.

Thanks again to everyone for the fidget suggestions, I am certainly going to use some of them.

meritaten

Iammumtoone - you have had very helpful advice and people 'mostly' haven't asked why, or judged you as a parent. most of us parents have a child with 'issues' of one sort or another and KNOW its no reflection on us. Please do not let one judgemental and unhelpful poster put you off posting if you need our help.
anyway - good luck with the 'fidget toys'!
(btw - my granddaughter with Aspergers has moved on from fidget 'toys', and now has colouring and zentangling books and pens - she even has ones that fit in her handbag for when she is out. she is 12 now, and very conscious that people stare if she 'fiddles with toys', whereas those little doodling and colouring books are now the norm).