How to help my parents feel positive about their age

Spirit_2

Our neighbours are fit and well however the lady suffers from SAD, and this makes her withdrawn aand complaining. It seems to drag her husband down too.It is getting worse as she gets older and causes OCD, adding to the strain on her husband.

They take lots of winter sun breaks including legs of world cruises. Which seems to help.

ibizafan_2

My mum has always been a bit of a worrier, and has suffered from a couple of bouts of depression over the years. She is 84 now and dad is 88. Many of their friends have either died or are in ill health, so the fact that they are pretty fit is a blessing, which she does remind herself of when she is feeling a bit down. What worries me is that they are and have always been joined at the hip, so I dread something happening to one of them. I'm still not sure which of them would manage best without the other, but I'll cross that bridge when I have to.

margaretclare

ibizafan wrote: »

My mum has always been a bit of a worrier, and has suffered from a couple of bouts of depression over the years. She is 84 now and dad is 88. Many of their friends have either died or are in ill health, so the fact that they are pretty fit is a blessing, which she does remind herself of when she is feeling a bit down. What worries me is that they are and have always been joined at the hip, so I dread something happening to one of them. I'm still not sure which of them would manage best without the other, but I'll cross that bridge when I have to.

That would be us. We're both 80 and we still feel we have a lotta living to do. Not a question of 'managing', but just not being here, living in a world in which he is nowhere and I can't find him.

Been thinking a lot about funerals of recent weeks. A good friend of ours aged 51 has recently been widowed and we've been up and down to Derbyshire to support her and then to attend the funeral. I do not want a funeral in the crematorium chapel - we want a 'green burial' with our graves side by side. But thinking about funerals, we're also planning for the future. We're having a mega job done probably April - a 'mobility solutions' bathroom to make it easier for us both, and importantly, safe. I'm having another revision of hip replacement, the 28-year-old one this time, probably April.

We've also got a few trips away planned - Abbeville in Picardy for our 14th anniversary next month, Isle of Mull at Easter, the Harz Mountains (Germany) in June. To that end I'm busy learning German and revising my French.

Events may overtake us, however. DH has a recurrent infection in a knee replacement - it flared up to septicaemia in 2008 and nearly killed him - and he may yet have an above-knee amputation. He can't keep on taking antibiotics and has just been referred back to the surgeons from the GP. That will really be something new, but nevertheless, life is still good and still worth living.